Yeah, watch out for the “Wedding Trap” that Chef Troy described, that’s pretty low and unfortunately not all that uncommon.
I definitely feel your pain, it’s a sucky situation to want to have a nice party for your friends and family, and realize that the wedding/catering market often seems to be calibrated towards people like the Kennedys (who may or may not be cursed, or so I hear). I think you’re also getting shafted by the fact that NJ prices are often impacted by NYC prices – everything tends to be inflated compared with most other areas of the country. I don’t know if this is a good thing to say or not – but I think $65 is average for this area.
As to suggestions, I would second the recommendation of looking at some local restaurants that have private rooms, they will often be less expensive than the “banquet hall” scenario. You might also ask for estimates for options like plated v. buffet dinners, to get a sense of the difference in price. Also look into wine and beer bar service, as opposed to full premium, this can be a small savings as well. There are options between a big wedding and eloping – depending on the time of day, you could go with just wine (and soft drinks, of course) and an elegant, fancy-schmancy dessert buffet instead of an actual meal.
You might want to look at local colleges or libraries or public parks or other cultural institutions in the area – they sometimes rent space on the weekends for some extra income, and it’s usually pretty reasonable. You would then have to find a small caterer to come in, and again, you might opt for a buffet or something less elaborate than a full sit down dinner. This option could save you some money, but the trade-off is that you have to organize things like table rentals and flowers and decorations yourself. (One of the reasons banquet hall prices start rising is because they are “one stop shopping” for all those trappings). You have to keep an eye on this sort of thing because all the rentals can start adding up until you’re back in the $65 range again.
If you have a relative with a large home, you could ask (eek) to use the home for the party, and again, bring in a small caterer. Preferrably one that is just starting out in the business and is looking for new clients. This works the best if the house is large enough (and the weather is expected to be warm) that you don’t need to rent a tent – that’s costly. Also, some restaurants will cater in homes, at a lower cost than most “wedding caterers.”
Not related to your problem, but I thought I’d mention it – when you get estimates from caterers, make sure they VERY CLEARY spell out whether or not labor is included in the per person cost. It is fairly standard to quote, say, $25 a head, and then it turns out that labor is ADDITIONAL. You want to ask them upfront for an estimate, in writing, that shows a per person breakdown that is INCLUSIVE of labor, tax, and any equipment rentals. Also ask that your per person estimate include any gratuity or service charge that you would be expected to pay. Because a gratuity is optional (har, har), some places will try to skip it on the estimate, and then act shocked that you weren’t planning to include a 17.5% gratuity when you pay the bill.
