Inexpensive, Nice Weddings - is it possible

In My Humble Opinion
1

In the span of 2 months, I went from 0 daughters engaged to 2. They both are now trying to plan weddings on a budget. One in Atlanta and the other in Madison, WI.
We are getting increasingly frustrated with how difficult it is to find anything wedding-related that isn’t either zillions of dollars or some sort of etsy-fever-dream craft thing that no self-respecting 10-year-old would admit making. Any thoughts on inexpensive venues, dresses, etc. that are nice?

Any nice little touch that worked for you that didn’t break the bank?

2

Do you/your daughters know about Pinterest?

3

Buy a “fancy” dress off the rack instead of a “wedding dress.” You’re almost guaranteed to get something cheaper and of better quality that way.

4

Go to a thirft shop for the dress. Your selection will be far more limited and you may have to make a concession or two but the price range is far more affordable. I walked into a Mom & Daughter thrift shop before my wedding, with no special hope that they in particular would have a wedding dress - lo and behold, they had two. One seemed to already be tailor-fit for me with no additional hemming or darts required, and close enough to what I wanted that I just went with it. Total price: $100.

Venue: local park (if it has pavillions or something like that). Ask the local village manager/city manager/etc if they have anything available that could be reserved for an outdoor function at a lower cost. My family has a penchant for having weddings in our backyards, but that is heavily dependent on the size of your backyard and the amount of attendees. If anyone involved is part of a club that has a house (boat club, lion’s club, veteran’s club) then ask if the place can be rented out for a day. You might be surprised how affordable they are compared to a local church reception hall, but it depends a lot. Just ask around. The point is to get a place wherein you can both get married and have the reception at, so you’re not paying two places for their services. That is, if it isn’t important that it happens inside a church - pastors will come to you.

Instead of going for real plates/silverware and full catering service, try a buffet and faux-ware. I chose some nice plastic “silverware” with a rather convincing finish. It wasn’t until people picked them up that they realized they weren’t actually metal. Much cheaper to have people get their own food than to have people serve it to them.

Consider simply going to a liquor outlet and buying a bunch of booze rather than have an open bar or a pay bar.

Most of my table decorations were bought at Michael’s - simple cheap glass vases to put the flower bouquets in and some bowls to float some candles in.

Everyone said that my wedding was very memorable, relaxing, and fun. So nobody seemed to care that I cut corners. What I splurged on was getting a tent with fans set up in the backyard to dine under as I had an August wedding and needed to be sure guests were neither hot nor rained on.

5

I’ve never been married, but I’ve been to lots of weddings and showers, and the costs of the various wedding things inevitably comes up, whether talking to the bride before the wedding or people at the wedding or shower. So I’ve heard various ways people have saved money.

Weddings on Saturday used to be the most common it seemed, but more recently lots of people have had weddings on Friday night or Sunday afternoon or night, because it’s cheaper then.

Also, one friend told about a wedding she went to where it was in the evening, but the meal was a breakfast buffet. It was cheaper than the usual chicken and steak, but all the guests loved it. I certainly would have loved it if I’d been at that wedding.

Also, I’ve heard the same thing that Ferret Herder recommended, about getting a fancy dress instead of a “wedding dress.” Pretty much anytime someone sells you a “wedding item” instead of just an “item,” the “wedding item” will be much more expensive even if it’s exactly the same. This applies to the dress, decorations, the venue, and probably other things.

6

We’re planning our wedding now and while we have gone over budget, it’s mostly because we decided to pay for some things for our best man/matron of honor and we ended up choosing an additional venue for the ceremony. But this stuff costs money and even little things add up.

Decide early on what photography services we wanted and chose a package that didn’t have nearly as many bells and whistles as some others. We dropped some things that we would have liked to have simply because they’re not the focus of the day. Same with music, desert, etc, we just spent some time deciding what was critical to have and chose to spend our money on that.

7

Oh, here’s one. When getting the DJ, specify that it’s just for a personal party. When you DO reveal that it is a Wedding (you should), stress that he won’t have to do any wedding things. He won’t have to wear a tuxedo, he won’t have to list off the wedding party names, etc etc. He’ll be grateful and charge normal price.

My guy would have charged $200 extra just to get him in a tuxedo alone.

Oh, and tell your wedding party that they just wear whatever they like that’s nice - maybe a specific color if you so choose. You cut down a lot not having to pay for a bunch of matchy-matchy bridesmaid dresses, and everyone shows up beautifully dressed in a way that suits them best.

And basically** Sam Lowry** is right. Always tell everyone it’s a personal party that you’re getting a quote on. Reveal that it’s a wedding a bit later for entities that need to know, but not a fancy, big, to-do wedding and they’ll usually keep the quote more normal.

I wouldn’t cut corners on the cake. Bakers can ah…over-estimate their decorative abilities. Up to $5 a slice is reasonable. Pick an alteration on what they have in the window as opposed to something out of their wedding book, as then you can be sure that they can deliver the goods.

Ask your family to bring digital cameras and snap pictures as everything happens. I got 200 amazing photos from various aunts, uncles, and sister in laws for $0. Don’t expect amazing viginettes of specific scenes or anything though.

8

There are several good books on wedding planning with a budget which are available for free at most public libraries. Two that I cannot recommend enough are Bridal Bargains by Denise Fields and Alan Fields (buy this and memorize it, it will save you tons and guide you away from some of the worst expense inflating tricks used by the wedding industry) and How to Have a Big Wedding on a Small Budget by Diane Warner. The later is over a decade old, so the prices discussed will be out of date, but the strategies she uses (and she offers several sample budgets for how to break down costs) are excellent.

A few general tips:
1.forget about elaborate wedding favors most people toss them in the trash, give candy at least it will be appreciated for the few moments when it’s gobbled up.
2.if you can get away without a mutiny, nix the bar, claim you’re doing it out concern for people driving drunk as they leave the reception.

9

My aunt did this and it looked great. (This was in the 1940’s, though.)

10

When our daughter got married, the ceremony and reception were in a lovely community center. It was not a huge event, and we had friends help us put out the tablecloths (plastic) and centerpieces (homemade.) Instead of a meal, we had a buffet of finger foods. We got the cake from a local grocery store’s bakery section - we liked their cakes, and we chose a pretty but not ornate cake. Music was by a DJ who was a friend of the couple, and that was a mistake - they’d have done better making their own mixes. Their friend was not prepared.

Honestly, I don’t understand those who feel the need to spend tens of thousands on a wedding and reception, especially those who go into debt to do it. Each to his own and all that, but like others have said, don’t use the “W” word when making arrangements and it should save you a fortune!

11

This is a good idea. We had a friend do the photography at our wedding (he was a good photographer) - we had one nice picture framed, put the rest in a photo album, and have barely looked at the pictures since that day. I’m glad we didn’t spend thousands of dollars for pictures.

A buffet for food is also a very good idea. You can also have a wedding earlier in the day and just serve “tea” - finger sandwiches, appetizers, etc.

Both good ideas. You don’t have to have an open bar, either - you can have a cash bar. You don’t actually owe people endless free booze.

12

I like to post this wedding cake video in all wedding threads. :smiley:

13

I work in the wedding industry.

  1. Off-season, off-peak weddings. This means a wedding on a weekday, or a Sunday, during the off-peak season, which runs from roughly September until April, excluding most of December (which gets booked fast for holiday parties and holiday weddings).

  2. For dresses, buy off-the-rack, discontinued, samples, or go somewhere like David’s. Trust me, the bride is still going to be the center of attention, whether her dress cost $99 or $999 or $9,999.

  3. Pretty much anything will have different tiers of cost. Consider a daytime, morning, brunch wedding–ceremony at 10, brunch service at 11 (or ceremony at 11, lunch at noon, a few hours of reception, done by four). Or a teatime “cake-and-punch” reception, which can be very retro-trendy and fun. Brunch or lunch will require less food.

3b. Consider not serving booze, because it is pricey and adds up.

3c. Consider not even serving a full meal, but doing big plates from Costco or what have you–meat trays, cheese plates, fruit and veggies, and cake.

  1. Cut the guest list. Look, no matter how you slice it, it’s going to be expensive to host a 200-person party. It just is. It costs money to serve that many people food or to even have a place to have that many people. A wedding doesn’t have to be big to be fun. Invite your nearest and dearest. If it’s small, you open up your options to where you can hold it–lots of restaurants are nice venues as well, or have lounge rooms.

  2. Ditch some things you “must” have. I hate favors, I think 99% of the time they are tacky, useless, or more trouble than they’re worth. It’s not a kid’s birthday party where you have to give junk away, you know? Rather than spend $200 on beer cozies printed with the couple’s names, or spending 40 hours slaving away to make homemade jam in mason jars with custom-printed labels, don’t give favors at all. Or have a big bowl of candy. Or just print a sign and frame it that says “In lieu of favours, we have donated $XXX to [This Charity We Like.]” The thing is, you are not obligated to give favours. And truly, lots of people will either not take them, or forget them, or trash them.

5b. Actually, you are not obligated to do ANYTHING. If you don’t want to serve cake you don’t have to. If you don’t want an open bar, don’t. If you don’t want live flowers, don’t. (This can be an OK way to save money as well, if you don’t go overboard with the flower-replacement decorations. You know, don’t forego spending $3000 on flowers only to spend $4000 on cut-glass vases and live fish to swim in them.)

  1. The biggest and most important advice I usually give is to pick one aspect of the wedding to stand out, and spend money on that. If you want the photography to be absolutely top-notch, figure out how much that will cost, and scrimp everywhere else. If you want the food to be amazing, maybe skip the photographer entirely. If you want a banging band, pay for them. But realistically, no one is able to afford the best of everything they could want. Pick one or two aspects to shine, and then let the rest fall by the wayside.
14

Our wedding last December cost under $3000 for 100 guests with a buffet dinner. My dress was an ivory bridesmaid dress (most bridesmaid dresses are available in white and ivory and there’s a lot of nice styles for brides with simpler tastes). We hired a recent art school grad to photograph it for $350 because she was building a portfolio. We had the ceremony and reception in our church for free. The fellowship hall (upstairs) was a lot nicer than the basement and we decorated with paper snowflakes and Christmas garlands. We had a candy buffet for favors where the guests filled up a little bag of candy, and that was fun. I made our cake (though that’s not practical for most families, I admit) and we had a pizza/calzone buffet with lots of cold appetizers. It was a simple but very happy wedding. All best wishes to your daughters!

15

We bought our cake from a local grocery store – I hear Costco cakes are good too. My wedding dress was used in a bridal fashion show – if the bride is on the thin size you should be able to find one (maybe up to size 10?). We held the reception at a restaurant instead of a hall and went buffet – cheaper than sit-down or family-style and nobody cared. We made wedding favors with netting and jordan almonds instead of buying favors.

Good luck – it’s easy for things to start to escalate and next thing you know you’re spending a fortune.

16

Yeah, do get someone who knows photography at least for some pics. Relying on a bunch of cell phone or P&S users likely won’t result in anything more than snapshots. Candids and snapshots are fun and welcome, but you’ll want at least a few really good photos.

Those high price photogs that make their photography part of “the show” are rarely worth it, tho, imho. (I used to be in that same market) Ask your volunteer photo buddy to record the event well, but be unobtrusive. Of course, for any group shots, you’ll need someone able to direct others.

I had a fellow photographer do our wedding. We bartered services.

Instead of a caterer, we had several friends who offered to bring something. We asked another friend to help coordinate the effort, so it was not out of balance. I gave her some money myself, probably about half the bill of what ended up being there. We did finger foods and refreshments instead of a meal and liquor.

We got married on a ranch in northern Colorado. I made the arch, my fiancee decorated it. The rest was pretty much just the beautiful house and surrounding. It’s nice that a dear old family friend offered her place.

I bought a new suit, needed one anyways, and my wife and her friend made her own dress.

I see a theme in my post. If someone offers you something (help, doing something, covering the cost of something), take it! Thankfully, my wife has some talented and giving friends, and I had some good trade connections. If you are a part of a church or any social group, talk it up there. You might be surprised how many people would like to be a part of something.

Of course, ymmv, and you do have to watch out for those who tend to take over.

17

We rented a park building. I wore a white dress - short - off the rack. My bridesmaid (one) wore a nice dress (again, short). I baked my own cake and provided my own food. A friend did the flowers. Another DJ’d. A third took the photos. We didn’t do dinner - we had a late afternoon wedding that had seven guests and a Friday night starting at 8 reception with beer and wine and snacks.

18

FTR, we had 40 guests (about half of them were involved in one way or another) and our out of pocket was under $1000. Six years later and we’re still hearing how much everyone enjoyed it. But then, we do have simple tastes. And most of our friends are like that, too.

It was a mid Nov Friday aft affair. Off peak pricing!

As always, ymmv.

19

Yes, this. I have had several couples lament that their plan of just having all their friends and relatives take snapshots and upload them to a central wedding website, because they are missing some critical shot that no one thought to take (“I don’t have a picture with my 97-year-old great-grandmother!”), or none of them are “blow-up and put on the mantel” quality, or whatever.

I do want to stress that while it is lovely if you have the sufficient time and energy to make your own wedding components, that is awesome for you. But not to beat yourself up if you aren’t a good enough baker to do a wedding cake, or seamstress enough to make a dress, or don’t know anyone who can. Not everyone has that kind of family and friends, and that is OK too.

20

For the one in Atlanta, Publix grocery stores have shockingly good wedding cakes. Otherwise, one pretty layer to cut for photos, and sheet cakes or cupcakes to serve the masses can save a lot of pennies.

Before Girl 1.0 broke it off with the psycho (may he rot,) we found lots of relative bargains on-line. The entire suite of save the date cards, invitations, and thank you notes (100 of each) was available through David’s Bridal’s website for about $300. We were also about two weeks away from ordering her dress, which was exactly to her taste and under $250 when that became moot. As others have mentioned, non-Saturday weddings and creative menus can help: Sunday morning and brunch, early afternoon and a cocktail party or High Tea reception. Prioritize. Set a firm budget and spend the money on the most important stuff. If the bride and groom want a high dollar photographer or a steak and lobster menu, they have to cut costs somewhere else. (And frankly, I can’t remember the last time I gave a rat’s ass about favors or a program.) Use in-season flowers. And finally: get a contract for every single vendor you’ll use. Refuse to do business with any photographer or DJ or venue, etc. without getting it in writing.