How did you save money on your wedding?

In My Humble Opinion
1

No, I’m not engaged or about to be married. I am trying to help a friend plan her nuptials, which will take place in Summer 2012. She’s nervous about money–she doesn’t have a hard-and-fast budget, but her parents have agreed to pay half provided that “half” is no more than $5000. (The grooms’ parents have graciously offered to pay for their honeymoon cruise.)

Anyway, she wants a fantastic wedding for as cheap as possible without cutting so many corners that the wedding is tacky. At the moment, they are looking at about 150 guests. Neither she nor the groom care about having brand-name clothes or jewelry. They plan to have 4 attendants apiece.

What did you do to save money on your wedding? Any tips would be appreciated.

2

  1. Married in Vegas. We had a ceremony in a beautiful chapel at the Excalibur and the flowers, music, minister/JOP, wedding planner, bottle of champagne, and photographer all cost a total of $750. We paid for an additional photographer to take pictures the whole day and provided dinner for everyone at the buffet at the hotel including champagne and cake. All of that and my dress and the tuxes and other miscellaneous items all came out to about $4,000, give or take. We originally planned for about 65 people but several people couldn’t make it at the last minute so we ended up having about 40 total guests. For a larger crowd it would be more expensive, of course, but she would come in well under her $10,000 total this way, even including airfare for the two of them.

  2. David’s Bridal. They have some awesome stuff and in fact have a line of dresses designed by Vera Wang right now. Be forewarned though that they are going to sell your contact information to everyone who might ever want to buy it, so you will get some spam mail and phone calls.

3

Trim the guest list. Then look at it and trim it again. Seriously, I doubt anyone has 75 people they see on a regular basis or are that fond of. Uncle Gerry and Aunt Agnes, and their 3 kids whom you haven’t seen in years, don’t need to come. Intimate, dear friends and family only. No “obligation” guests .

4

I asked a friend with a phenomenal stereo and extensive music collection spin records at the reception. Yes, I said records! :stuck_out_tongue: In today’s world of iPods, though, this is probably not necessary. But I didn’t have to pay a DJ.

5

I bought my dress for about $160 at Macy’s. It was listed as a bridesmaid’s dress, but it looked bridey enough to me.

6

We had the wedding reception in my mother-in-law’s back yard, since she had quite a large one, and a friend of hers did most of the catering for it. I don’t know what we’d have done if it had rained: I suppose everyone would have had to try to fit into her house.

7

Similarly, I got mine off-the-rack out of the regular (not bridal) section at a Jessica McClintock store for a bit under $175.

Flowers we got from the floral department at a supermarket - the church flowers were just potted mums, and the bridesmaids just carried a rose each wrapped in ribbon, while I cradled a large calla lily with a broad white ribbon wrapped around the stem. The bridal party did their own makeup and hair.

Our caterer let us go to a liquor store that would sell us alcohol on consignment and return anything unopened.

8

Let’s see…

Music: iPod
We had a lot of fun putting together several playlists, for the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, dancing, etc. Got lots of compliments.

Cake: Grocery store
It was really lovely and elegant - just a few round tiers with simple “bead” piping around the edges, with different flavor for each tier. No one guessed it was from Safeway. Of course, I ran around telling everyone, classy gal that I am.

Drinks: Beer/wine/soda
Instead of having the caterers do a full bar, we provided our own beverages. Got a couple kegs of Yuengling and a couple of cases of Barefoot wines at a local discount place, and got a bunch of soda at Costco. We had a bunch of big drinkers, and we still had leftovers of everything.

Dress: Made it
It was just a few hundred dollars for all the materials, and would have been even cheaper if I’d just gone to David’s. They had some beautiful stuff, too - I just felt like doing it myself. Macy’s, JCrew, and Nordstrom also have some nice options.

Decorations: Made them
The location was pretty enough that we felt it didn’t need a whole lot of enhancement. We put together some simple dried-stuff arrangements for the centerpieces, place cards, etc. Same for the bouquets - dried flowers. They looked awesome.

Invitations: Made them
We got a couple of kits from A.C. Moore - they were really pretty and cost about $25.

ETA:

Location: Same for church/reception
We chose a location that let us do the ceremony on-site for no extra charge. It made sense since we aren’t religious, but even if we were, it was cheaper than getting a church, and easier on the guests.

And like Ferret Herder, we also did our own makeup and hair.

9

Depends on your definition of “tacky”. And your skill-set. And how much you can depend on your friends. And how many friends you have. And if you turn into Bridezilla and run off everyone who once claimed to know you. :slight_smile:

We’ve aided and abetted several weddings on the cheap. I would consider $10K to be an exorbitant amount to spend on a wedding in our area, so if that’s your budget, you may be looking for something different than what we do. Or you live somewhere much more expensive.

  1. Floral arrangements. We do them; nice silk flowers. Including bouquets, boutonnieres, etc. It helps a lot if you’re crafty. Using silk allows you to do them way ahead of time without the huge stress of having to do everything that day/night before. You can also revise them to your heart’s content. Last minute you can add some fresh flowers here and there, if you want.

  2. Catering. We do that, too. Again, it helps a lot if you are or know a good cook. Rather than a sit-down dinner, we do lots and lots of buffet munchies of various sorts. You can rent steam tables and just about everything else you need.

  3. Booze. No booze is cheapest. Next is a cash bar. Next is a limited amount of reasonably-priced wine and beer. Unlimited full bar will cost you a fortune.

  4. Venues. Look at unexpected venues. I don’t know what’s available in your area, but you can usually find an off-beat or off-season venue that will be reasonably priced. Regular wedding venues will cost a lot. Venues where you tell them it’s a wedding will cost a lot. The minute people hear the word “wedding”, they will jack up the price.

We’ve done backyard wedding/receptions, art gallery wedding/receptions, and one backyard wedding/empty storefront reception.

  1. Music. Have someone you know do it. You can rent equipment, if needed.

  2. Decorating. Have someone you know do it.

  3. Photos. Depends on what you want and what you want to pay for. Most of the people I know have looked at their wedding photos maybe three times. Nonetheless, many of them insist that a professional set of wedding photos is a must. :shrug:

A really good professional photographer will be unobtrusive, will get photos of all the guests and of the ceremony and ritual moments, will do the standard staged photos, and will hand you a very pretty package of photos. They will also be very expensive.

A not-so-good pro will get the staged photos, the bits they think are important, and a lot of candid snaps. They can be quite annoying as they haven’t developed the ‘unobtrusive’ skills. They will also hand you a fairly pretty package. They will be expensive, but not as much.

A photographer friend will most likely provide you with something similar to the standard staged photos, and some photos of the ceremony, and some photos of the guests. The photos will not be as professional and will not look as good. You’ll probably have to put them in an album yourself. This is a cheap option, however.

One note: do not overload any one person, or things won’t get done. If you have someone running music, they won’t be able to do anything else. Double-ditto for a photographer. Someone will need to be setting up the florals and decoration while someone else is setting up the food. There will need to be someone keeping an eye on and refreshing the buffet during the reception. Someone will need to clean up.

How much of those things you pay people to do vs. ask for help from friends is up to you. We have a tight-knit group of friends that will do these sorts of things for each other; if we’re attending a party, we’d rather spend the money on food and drink than paying someone to clean. YMMV

10

In my experience? Do everything yourself and don’t stress about what everybody else says you “HAVE TO DO!!!”. My dad officiated our ceremony on the rooftop of our apartment overlooking the water. I bought my dress from Victoria’s Secret. I bought 3 bunches of flowers from the local grocery store, picked out the flowers I didn’t want, and bundled it up with some red ribbon. My sister took pictures, and we had the reception at a friend’s restaurant. Made wedding cupcakes instead of cake. It was fun, small, and at the end of the day the goals were achieved (we were married) and that’s all that mattered.

11

Wedding cakes are extremely expensive and most people don’t eat them other than a taste. We chose a bakery that made our guests a plate of 3 small desserts each. They were delicious, and about 1/3 the price of the cakes we were seeing.

12

Rent the wedding dress. You can rent one for $200 - $300 or so.

J.

13

What redtail23 said.

The biggest thing is, I think, not to get hung up on Having the Best . I got hung up on this with the photographer and food and location. I kind of regret the photographer, as now that I have a baby I see that there are many more important things than wedding pictures; I don’t actually regret the food and location, much as I think I should, as they were really pricey. But a bit of creativity and being willing to compromise goes a long way. A friend had “designer tacos,” which were much cheaper than a conventional buffet but probably even more memorable. (If you are near LA, I can try to get the info from him.)

The next biggest thing, as a bunch of people have mentioned, is getting friends and family to volunteer. My aunt did the flowers. My sister did my makeup. A friend DJ’d. Another friend was a day-of coordinator. My best friend made wedding desserts (picture a cross between cupcakes and mousse. They were totally awesome, the thing people still talk about to this day when my wedding is mentioned).

When you say 150 guests, is that the number they are inviting or the number they expect to show up? I think we invited about 150 but only 90 showed up. One of the best things I did was make a spreadsheet where I estimated an “expected value” for each person (e.g., someone I thought was sure to come and bring a date got a 2, and someone I thought might or might not come by herself got a 0.5). I got a total “expected value” of about 93, which when the RSVPs came in was almost spot on.

I ask because where I live (which is admittedly very high-rent) it is very difficult to find space for 150 people (unless you happen to know someone with a huge back yard) for less than $3000, which is a substantial portion of the budget right there.

14

Eloped for the second wedding, total cost was $25 for the wedding license, the Justice of the Peace was $75, borrowed ring, modified service [omitted the word obey] and $100ish for dinner and tip for us at a reasonably romantic restaurant.

First wedding was a justice of the peace in the middle of a housewarming party for an new apartment - we invited the guys in his division over and their wives, dress was tahiti camo [IE it was a pool party] hm, use of the complex pool and party room was $50, we had a BBQ, about $250 worth of hot dogs, hamburgers, assorted salads, chips and dips. Mom provided the wedding cake, I think at the time FarmFresh charged $25 for a decorated sheet cake. Somewhere on the order of another $250 for beer and soft drinks. Probably $50 in cups, napkins, paper plates and assorted. Serious fun was had by all.

15

I bought my dress from a friend who was married the year before us. We held their reception in our apartment. Ours was in my in-laws back yard.

In order to keep the main costs low you’re going to have to trim the guest list. $150 people, even with a cheap meal is going to be $3000 in catering. Add booze, flowers, pictures, DJ, clothing, favours, cake and your $5000 budget is toast. Every person you can eliminate from the guest list makes everything else less expensive.

16

Having the reception on a Friday or Sunday can save you a good chunk as opposed to a Saturday reception. The venue may also be more forgiving of guest numbers if it’s booked on an off-day since the alternative is for them to not book the room at all.

My mother is in “the business” and so I saved a bit of money in ways probably not accessible to your friend. But one thing we did do was have our flowers done through the local community college’s floral department. We only had to pay wholesale for the flowers and a small contribution to the college. She had students do the flower arrangements under her supervision and delivered them. As an added bonus, she got along swimmingly with my wife who wanted some unusual stuff and the department head was thrilled to be involved in something out of the ordinary.

They had a substantial waiting list for this so I’d try calling around now if you wanted to see if any of your local colleges do anything similar.

17

I did my own flowers (dried arrangements) - dead easy

Itunes + speakers = bargain. One list for dinner/mingling, one list for dancing. On the RSVP card we asked for song requests, and we both accomodated all the requests, and used them as a guide to “read the room” musically. people danced till they we kicked out!

Bought my wedding dress at Target - the late, lamented Mizrahi Wedding for Target line.

Got married at a local aquarium - they were INCREDIBLY easy to work with and it was actually cheaper than other “wedding mill” venues nearby with food, cake, table/plates/napkin rentals, shade umbrellas, table decorations, use of the aquarium until midnight, set up/breakdown, waitstaff, etc. – and open-bar! – all included.

My brother designed the invites, we printed them using online printing (psprint.com). I got the envelopes online too – paper-source.com and envelopes.com have comparable prices and slightly different designs. RSVPs we printed on mailable postcards through vistaprint.com, so no need for an envelope.

Got recommendations for a moderately priced pro photographer who did excellent work, and would provide the digital files for us to print from ourselves.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup, so I didn’t pay a pro. I got a walk-through on how to do Bare Minerals at Sephora, bought a Lipfinity semi-permanent lipstick and called it good.

kvetch.Indiebride.com – was a font of wisdom and suggestions for me.

18

We had ours outside at the home of a friend of ours. It was catered by a local deli. Cost was only a few hundred dollars (in 1982).

It was a small ceremony, which helped. And I guarantee you it was just as memorable as spending $5K.

19

My husband is a graphic designer/illustrator, so we made our own Save the Dates and used a kit from Target to do most of the invitation pieces. We used the same style kit for the programs and place cards. Super cheap and it looked great.

A friend of a friend was our DJ, but he was also a professional who does clubs and weddings pretty regularly. Our ceremony music was provided by one of my oldest friends playing the cello (she learned to play the Princess Bride theme for me to walk down to!)

We got a great deal on the reception/ceremony site by booking during their own wedding open house weekend–it was half off their normal price. They convinced us to do a 1 hour open bar and have the rest of the night pay, and I think this worked out well for friends and relatives to get a few good drinks in on us and then pay for anything further. The food and drink at this place was amazing, too!

We made our favors using a kit of favor boxes from Target (plus some ribbon and printed labels my husband made) and a few tubs of chocolate covered espresso beans from Trader Joes.

Flowers were provided at a discount from my parents’ neighbor and friend, who is a professional florist.

So the keys for us were to really use your network of friends and family to find skills or resources that can save you time and money. A friend might be a photographer, or designer, or seamstress. You can probably do a great deal of the stationary and favors and decor yourself using inspiration from magazines and your local crafts store.

For us, we realized that we could get everything very personalized for pretty cheap if we did most of it ourselves. And the things that REALLY mattered to me we portioned our budget on, like the dress I had really wanted to wear and the fact that we both felt having good food for the guests was worth a little extra on the reception site.

20

Like others, we used our friends shamelessly…

Flowers - done by a friend

Photography - done by a friend

Cake - I baked it - I was doing wedding cakes at the time, so it wasn’t a stunningly huge issue.

Dress - off the rack. It was short.

Invitations - had them printed by a printer - instead of going through a wedding invitation catalog. My husband did the layout and design.

DJ - friend

Decorations - sourced them wholesale and friends decorated.

Our reception food was big sub sandwiches, pop wine and beer.
On the “don’t get married on Saturday” friends of mine married on a Tuesday - a great bargain.

Consider a late wedding and a cake and punch reception if food and liquor are going to kill you. I’ve also been to many a midwest wedding in a church basement catered by the church ladies.