I think this is really important. In North America, we live in a culture of “more”, and “more” and “satisfaction” are mutually exclusive. Figuring out what “enough” is for you involves looking at your life and making decisions for yourself on what you want and what is important to you. Do you want a big house? Do you have a good reason to get one? Or do you just want one because everyone wants one?
An example from my life is my house. My husband and I decided that we wanted to buy rather than rent because our house is part of our retirement plan. It’s also a hobby for both of us, because we like renovating and working on it. Our house is not big and beautiful, and in the poshest location, but I’m happy with it.
Other people choose not to buy because they prefer to have mobility or freedom. Bottom line, it’s not really important what you choose, simply that you examine your life and make choices that fit you.
PucksRaven, I wonder why so often young people don’t see their almost endless potential to do things. Young = those under 50.
As Featherlou says, it takes deciding what your priorities are. I made a list of things I wanted and places I wanted to see and things I wanted to do in my life time. Sometimes the list changes, but somethings have remained constant. Then I try to work toward one or all of those goals just a little at a time. * Preparation for the “journey” is the first joy. The second is each surprise that you hadn’t planned as it unfolds.
Childish dreams can be tucked away, but reality can be better. In my youth I never dreamed of dining with the man who had been the palace chef for the Hapsbergs in Austria prior to World War I or dancing with a man who became head of the NYC Ballet and a Danish knight. But these were two of my surprises on my first trip to Europe – bumming around on my own at 29.
PucksRaven, I had also had problems by the time I was twenty. Depression threw me off and on for a long time. Medication and counselling with the right therapist turned my life around. The meds allow me to be who I really am and the therapist is a combination cheerleader, father and coach.
I find this thread very interesting. I too have had to struggle against depression, and I’ve had to pack up and get on, after several career failures. What has always interested me…are “driven” men happier that the rest of us? I mean, take somone like Napoleon-he was clearly driven by some animal force within himself. Was he happy because of this? he never had to worry about the “right” choices-something eyond his intellect drove him on. Similarly, guys like Edison and Tesla-they were so consumed with their passion for inventing, that they never cared about fancy houses, clothes, etc…is this the key to true happiness?
I don’t know about driven, necessarily, but I do think that people who have something they’re passionate about are happier. It’s a positive reinforcement loop, I think–passionate people are enthusiastic people, at least on that subject, and that enthusiasm draws positive people and things toward them, which gives them more to be enthusiastic about.
I think it depends on what is driving you. If you are driven by a negative emotion or purpose, I don’t think it is possible to be happy. If you are driven by a positive one, you are probably mostly happy. For example, being driven by insecurity would not lead to happiness. Being driven by a desire to help other people probably would. I think part of happiness is enjoying the journey, not just the destination, though.
