Lynn, it is good to see that you are being reasonable and willing to discuss the matter. You are one of the very few staff members of whom I have an opinion as a poster (a good one), and I don’t have any recollection of you as a staff member (for better or worse, but I think good staff is invisible, so I take it as a good sign).
On the title being inflammatory, there is no way you can defend that. If it were (and it isn’t), then there are dozens of other thread equally wrong or worse.
We have a product (the threads) that we want to sell (get views/responses). The title is our only advertising. Most of us craft them to get attention. This means getting most of the question in GQ, being funny in IMHO and being outrageous in the Pit. Details have never stood in the way of shocking headlines.
On some people hating all staff, that might be true. Some others feel the need to put their heads up the ass of all staff. Some like it overall but dislike some members. Some others just hate general attitudes among staff (and the members who often exhibit them).
You are right in not bothering to address those who hate all staff. There is nothing you can do to please them. Similarly, there is no point in hearing those who kiss your butt 24/7.
But then, when the people whose opinions depend on your performance complain about something, it is a good idea to listen. Most complains come from a desire to see this place go forward and worry that bad actions or bad staff members can bring it down. We don’t complain to piss you off, or to one-up you. We complain because we think something can be improved if we talk about it.
If the whole process of putting up with complains is too much of a burden, then by all means step down. You are right that moderation is a shitty, unpaid task. Only people who derive some sense of accomplishment from it should take it. Otherwise it sucks big.
And finally, when in doubt, detach yourselves from potential conflicts of interest. If you thought the title of the thread was trolling, then pass it to someone else (I assume you have something better than just reporting it).
Euthanasiast got screwed over big for nothing. He didn’t intend to troll, and he didn’t break any rules (that existed prior to his actions). Trying to bend it around “Don’t be a jerk” doesn’t cut it. Specially if it wasn’t your first response.
Telling mods to fuck off and calling them cunts is what the Pit is for (even if one disapproves of the level of discourse of either). Suspending someone for doing so pretty much does away with half the purpose of the Pit.
If the new rule is that you need to open a new thread to do it, then fine, that’s the way it is from now on. Make it public and start enforcing it. You cannot make that retroactive.