See post #35.
There is no bright side and things usually get worse.
Have a good one, dude!
Whatever you do, don’t suicide all over yourself until you’ve tried various meds/lifestyls
Also, what are you packing your pipe with? That could be the problem.
And, don’t worry about losing ‘it’, because I’m skeptical that there even is any ‘it’. If there is, then I’m in trouble
That saying “it’s always darkest before the dawn” does apply. The problem is that you never know if your current moment is really the darkest it will be. I was eking out my life paycheck-to-paycheck (barely) and being (only just) financially independent. I was in a pretty dark place but I managed to make myself function enough not to get fired. I was at the lowest emotional point I’d ever been in my life, up to that point.
Then one day, the brakes randomly went out on my car. It would have cost $800 to fix, which I didn’t have, and I couldn’t get to work without a car. I nearly committed suicide because I knew my independence was all over. Looking back, THAT DAY was the dark before my dawn could finally start to break. However, I couldn’t have known it at the time. The day before that, I thought my dawn was due to come at any moment. Then it got worse. And hell, my boyfriend could have died the day after my brakes went out, which would have made my lowest low EVEN LOWER.
So, your shit might get even worse before it gets better. No one knows for sure what the future will bring. However, I am pretty fucking glad, now, that I didn’t commit suicide then. If only because I never would have gotten to play the latest WoW expansion.
Sorry, but I don’t have any platitudes for you. I’m still depressed and unmedicated but even my dawn eventually broke. Life fucking sucks. But maybe one day it could suck slightly less. And since we only get one shot at it… I feel like that’s worth sticking around for.
Laudenum, I don’t really care to argue with you I think its a waste of my time and also yours whether you believe so or not. If you think I’m full of shit, then that’s you’re right, Just remember that you have no logical base for it and I did nothing to warrant hostility from you. That’s it. I’m done. The stupid flame war between you and I is over as far as I am concerned.
Like i said in the original post i didn’t write it for attention of for help. I did it more or less to make myself feel better. Actually I’m quite surprised anyone at all replied to it with a sense of civility, As i expected nothing but flames. Life’s full of pleasant surprises.
As for plans i have none. At least not in the long term sense. I have strong doubts that anyone’s plans will have meaning if the fascist political trend in this country continues, but i digress. I am now focused on getting employed and in my own home. That is all that matters to me. Its a slow process and nothing makes it faster. Luckily tax time is coming so coming up with move-in money is not going to be a problem so long as decent work can be found. That is the one positive I have at this time.
We aren’t in a flame war, at least from my perspective; flame requires anger, heat and light - I just have an annoyed sense of deja vu.
As for a logical basis: You posted up a set of facts, obviously my posts are based on those facts and the implications of them, because you chose them as the most important facts to sum up your life.
In looking at the facts, I noticed similarities with other people I have met, and came to certain conclusions.
My opinions are based on your posts; on the facts therein, and the manner of phrasing used.
+1
I’m sorry I made fun of you in the other thread. I didn’t know you were suffering from depression. (I myself am having Zoloft-related issues now- there’s a good chance I might have to drop all my classes and go on a medical leave for the rest of the semester). When your brain chemistry is conspiring against you, yeah, the world seems doomily doomed to utter doom.
Apologies,
M,I,S!
Well, there’s the problem right there. I’d suggest buying a Big’uns magazine and a little lotion and you’ll feel like a new man.
Indeed. My apologies as well. Depression is serious illness. I truly hope the best for the OP.
You’re supposed to gradually taper off of zoloft. Try asking your doctor about (I think it’s called) Buterin, butyral? bute something. It doesn’t have the sexual side effects etc. The job sounds like it was NOT following OSHA safety standards if there were vapors etc (that you weren’t protected from with some sort of respirator or some such) that were actually making you sick. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.
Listen, honey, I know it sounds trite, but it’s going to be all right. I’ve been through it all and it’s kind of like the blind leading the blind here, but just do your best and go at your own pace. Maybe it’s none of my business but those violent video games may help you let off a lot of steam at first and all, but I think they have still-unknown detrimental psychological effects, and that’s why I don’t like them. I’m not going to preach, but I care about people and I care about how you’re feeling. Try to find something that you enjoy doing…look around, branch out a little further if you can…and spend time doing things you enjoy, as much as you can. That’s the key that has helped me…finding activities that I like to do, and to hell with the rest.
Take care,
Honey6 