Yeah. But there are some smart cats that hang out in the pit and won’t go near MPSIMS. He may get some gold in the form of snark, but gold none the less. Sometimes it takes a snarky golden nugget of truth to feel like someone feels where you are coming from.
He purposefully dumped his meds, then voluntarily quit a paying job. That’s self induced depression. Then he spelled it out in the pit. That’s like wearing a big “kick me” sign at a frat party.
My guess is he was looking for a target and Laudenum obliged.
It would be nice to think that he -
- got back on his meds
- got another job and, if it sucked, had the perseverance to find another job BEFORE he quit the one he had
- moved away from dad
- started making enough cash to pay off sis and save a little for the next update of Call of Duty
- be careful with the pipe - it’s great for recreation but terrible for depression
My list isn’t easy but it’s a great goal list for the op to tackle.
Right, so it’s a good thing those people can make themselves feel better by calling other depressed people “infantile” and “boorish” when they’re in the depths of despair, isn’t it? I mean, what else can they do, not say anything at all? Where’s the satisfaction in that?
I don’t know if it’s really like that or not, but when you do see a guy with a “kick me” sign, is it absolutely necessary to kick him?
Your list is good though, I agree. But the OP should probably concentrate on one day at a time, rather than the whole thing all at once.
Nothing to say that hasn’t already been said. You have depression, and that sucks - from what I hear it’s a hole that you dig yourself, that’s very hard to dig yourself out it.
Pride can be had even in a cleaning job. You can clean to your best ability, absolutely. And living on your own, even hand-to-mouth, is healthier than living with your dumbshit dad who is only going to sap whatever confidence you may have left.
You need to get a job and get back on the meds pronto. Everything else can come later, including feelings of self-worth - because you know what, they’re not going to come in your present situation.
Good luck. No one here has all of the answers, but to be brutally honest, things getting done can only happen by doing. Whether you like it or not. And I totally disagree that this is such a crapsack world.
Not at all, but in frat parties and The BBQ Pit that action is inevitable whether necessary or not.
take away the last sentence and you have a great intro to a novel…
Or get on other anti-depressants, rather than Zoloft. There are lots of other options out there.
That’s not what Sylvia Plath did. Nor what Truman Capote did. Nor what Ernest Hemingway did. Nor what David Foster Wallace did. Depression does not necessitate being pathologically un-self-aware.
Zoloft is a nasty, nasty bastard of an anti-depressant, in my humble experience. I had pretty much the same side effects you had…I remember telling my psychologist, “I want to sleep 12 hours a day, one sip of alcohol makes me vomit, and I cannot maintain an erection for more than five seconds. This is supposed to snap me out of my depression?”
So, another voice telling you to look for another solution without so much side effects. Wow, I took Zoloft over 15 years ago…I had no idea it was still being used extensively.
:eek: Why exactly are we referencing Plath, Hemingway, and Wallace?
I feel badly for you, but if you keep doing things that make your situation worse, things won’t get better. I’m not kicking you when you are down, but trying to give you a different perspective.
You had a shitty job, but it was a job. Jobs have paychecks, and paychecks bring independence. A lot of people have shitty jobs. One of the things that makes a shitty job tolerable is having a life outside of your job and things to look forward to. When you are depressed, it can be difficult to see things that way, but you can look at it as a logical decision and not an emotional one. Kind of like deciding rationally that shooting yourself in the foot isn’t a good idea, even if your emotions are going haywire and urging you to do it. When your life sucks, it’s best not to make it suck more by dumping your only source of income.
Not making time for breakfast is something that could easily have been fixed. It takes 30 seconds to microwave water for instant oatmeal.
Get yourself to a clinic or some sort of sliding scale mental health facility. Stopping your meds was just plain foolish. Erections should be the lowest thing on your priority list right now. You need meds, and there are lots of choices out there.
I don’t know what packing your pipe means, but I do know what call of duty is. If you are depressed, isolating yourself and playing violent video games and watching junk tv isn’t the healthiest thing in the world. There must be something that interests you or that you would like to try. It could be as simple as growing an avocado pit. Just find something, anything, that is the least bit productive to do with your time.
Your dad may not be World’s Best Dad, but he is giving you a place to live. He isn’t expressing himself in the best way, but it is clear he wants better for you. It’s also not his job to drive you around so you can look for a job. That’s something you should have considered before you quit the last one. You can’t do anything about that now, but you can keep that in mind for the future.
You have a lot of anger towards everyone coming through in your posts, which is fine, but if that anger is coming through to prospective employers, you may want to find a way to keep it in check.
I really hope you get things in gear enough to get the help you need so your life can improve. I agree with those who said you need a plan. Just a simple plan.
I think you misunderstood me, because I have no idea what this means. I was being irritable and sarcastic though, so I can see how what I said might not have been clear.
I’m assuming it means ‘these depressed writers were freaking awesome writers and could explore their feelings that way’ or something of the sort, rather than ‘these depressed people achieved fame via writing, but three of them killed themselves anyway and one pretty much killed his liver via drinking and died of liver disease.’
I can see how my statement could be misinterpreted, given that 3 out of the 4 I mentioned committed suicide. My point was that they were examples (of many) of severely depressed people who, instead of glibly vomiting “I’m a piece of shit” on a message board, proffered a more mature and nuanced view of themselves and their surroundings.
Helen Keller, blind and deaf, was a social activist and led a life of inspiration. Does this mean we should make all the blind and deaf people out there who are eeking it out on social security feel bad for not doing what Helen Keller was able to do?
Goodness.
Cammacdon, stop watching TV. It turns your brain into nacho cheese. Stop playing computer games. Go outside, even if it’s cold, and take a long walk in the woods. Just to get out of that house. And then when you get back, sit down and make a plan for how to get back on meds. Don’t go back to Zoloft. Ask the doc for something else. Wellbutrin works for me.
Posts ads on craigslist for odd jobs, like moving furniture or something. Post a pic with the ad so people can see how handsome and nice you are. Make it funny so people will know you aren’t a serial kiler.
Keep sending out applications and resumes. Do not give up. I know the future looks black, but you can get out of this.
One of the reasons Helen Keller is inspirational is because her story makes everyone feel bad for not making the most of their potential. That’s the point.
OP, I’ve been there and in many ways I’m still there. Serious depression is almost impossible to deal with even with help, and it sounds like right now you are on your own. I know you don’t want to bother your sister, but she might be able to drive you to whatever free/cheap mental health you have in the area and if so, GO. I promise you, it will get better - sometimes it takes awhile but if you get help, take your meds and do as you are told, things will improve.
Good Luck!
And three of them committed suicide. GREAT examples, genius.
Unless you’re comparing depression to a wet willy now?
Cammacdon –
Despite myself being a bit of a dick in post #18 (not that I take anything back that I said – I don’t), I have some sincere words of encouragement.
Even the bard thought that “life’s a tale told by an idiot.” He had a lot to say about how almost transcendentally bereft both life and the people in it are. But nowhere do his writings betray sourness, or any fundamental lugubriosity. In fact, quite the opposite; his writing is brimming with vitality and whimsy and fun. One of the most amazing things about Shakespeare is that he can’t be pinned down. He appears “above it all.” Now this digression is not to say “you should be more like Shakespeare” (although you should, tee hee). My point is that it is all chemical, brotha. Life sucks, sure, but some are able to whistle as they dumbly walk towards the cliff. Monty python’s “always look on the bright side of life” comes to mind. Sure, you probably have some other issues you need to work out in your personality and life, but the biggest obstacle here is chemical. And it’s something that can be fixed. If zoloft doesn’t work well, talk to your psychiatrist about it – there are a lot of other options, and it’s considered very normal to try different drugs before you get things right.