I, too, would like a gender-neutral term by which to address strangers that is universally accepted as polite.
Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in.
Meanwhile we all have to muddle through.
I recommend being tolerant in public, even if that means gritting one’s teeth a lot, and venting in private. Such as on an anonymous internet message board.
Which point some people are not getting - I don’t think anyone here “loses it” in public over this. We grit our teeth and get on with life. That does not make our actual feelings go away. Which is why some of us come here and vent.
We’re the same way. Call from someone with no caller ID or in our contacts? It’s not answered on the fly, it goes to VM. However, so many don’t leave VM’s so the call does NOT get returned.
I refer to my Rabbi (actually, my late parents’ rabbi) as Rabbi firstname, which you have to admit is more old school. But I also address him as firstname.
You can consider it to have been inspired by gentleman, gentlewoman, and gentle-person but it would hopefully be thought of as a term in its own right.
Yeah, “gent” is one of the standard words in traditional contra dancing to refer to the boy’s role, for example. So it’s not just that it’s used for “gentleman”, it’s used to distinguish “gentlemen” from “ladies”.
On the very few occasions I’ve needed to do it, I’ve gone with “boss”. I know they’re not actually my boss but it’s friendly, gender neutral and respectful.
Why is it people want to be gendered, pronoun-ed, respected, not dissed and ridiculed for their preferences but can’t abide a reference to any of the known ones? Traditionally used ones?
What am I missing?
Certainly I want to call a person their preferred title(?).
How can I know without they tell me?
How can I ask without they get sideways about it?
This world is topsy-turvy over this.
