Accepting Applications

[WallyM7]

** Application to go on the Jerry Springer Show**

   Last name: ________________
   First name: (Check appropriate box)
  (_) Billy_Bob
  (_) Billy_Joe
  (_) Billy_Ray
  (_) Billy_Sue
  (_) Billy_Mae
  (_) Billy_Jack

   What does everyone call you?
  (_) Booger
  (_) Bubba
  (_) Junior
  (_) Sissy
  (_) Other___________________

   Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
   Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

   Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
   (_) Farmer
   (_) Mechanic
   (_) Hair Dresser
   (_) Unemployed
   (_) Occupation?

  Spouse's Name:_________________________
   2nd Spouse's Name:______________________
   3rd Spouse's Name:______________________
   Lover's Name:___________________________
  Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
   (_) Sister
   (_) Brother
   (_) Aunt
   (_) Uncle
   (_) Cousin
   (_) Mother
   (_) Father
   (_) Son
   (_) Daughter
   (_) Pet

  Number of children living in household: _____
  Number of children living in shed: ______
  Number that are yours: ______

  Father's Name: _______________________
   (If not sure, leave blank)

   Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
   Total number of vehicles you own: ___

   Number of vehicles that still crank: ___

   Number of vehicles in front yard: ___

   Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
   Firearms you own and where you keep them:
   ____ truck
   ____ bedroom
   ____ bathroom
   ____ kitchen
   ____ shed

   Model and year of your pickup: ________  196_

   Do you have a gun rack?

   If no, please explain:___________________________

   Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

   (_) The National Enquirer
   (_) The Globe
   (_) TV Guide
   (_) Soap Opera Digest
   (_) Rifle and Shotgun
   Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____

   Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen
   Elvis:_____

   Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____

   How often do you bathe:
   (_) Weekly
   (_) Monthly
   (_) Not Applicable
   (_) Bathe?

    Color of eyes:
    Right_____ left_____

    Color of hair:

   (_) None
   (_) Black
   (_) Red
   (_) Brown
   (_) White
   (_) Clairol

   Color of teeth:
   (_) Yellow
   (_) Brownish_Yellow
   (_) Brown
   (_) Black
   (_) No teeth at all.

   Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
   (_)Red Man
   How far is your home from a paved road?
   (_) 1 mile
   (_) 2 miles
   (_) just a whoop_and_a_holler
   (_) road?

[aha]

hahahha hilarious Wally

---

Yours truly,
aha

[Minxsmom]

Originally posted by WallyM7:
**
** Application to go on the Jerry Springer Show**

   Last name: **Jones (at east that's what my Mom tells me)**
   First name: (Check appropriate box)
  (_) Billy_Bob
  (_) Billy_Joe
  (_) Billy_Ray
  (**X**) Billy_Sue
  (_) Billy_Mae
  (_) Billy_Jack

   What does everyone call you?
  (_) Booger
  (_) Bubba
  (_) Junior
  (_) Sissy
  **(x) Other  It's not polite to use in mixed company. But, they are only kidding. No, really. It's a joke.**

   Age: **Well, I'm in the 5th grade, so that would make me about 30.** (if unsure, guess)
   Shoe Size: _**7**_ Left _**none**_ Right

   Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
   (_) Farmer
   (_) Mechanic
   (_) Hair Dresser
   (_) Unemployed
   (x) Occupation?

Spouse’s Name: I wouldn’t marry any of these good fer notin slobs that live in this here town.
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
Lover’s Name:___________________________
Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
() Sister
() Brother
() Aunt
() Uncle
() Cousin
() Mother
() Father
() Son
() Daughter
() Pet

  Number of children living in household: **12**
  Number of children living in shed: **our shed was destroyed in the big tornado of 1976**
  Number that are yours: **12**
  Father's Name: **Billy-Joe, Sr. (2), Billy-Joe, Jr. (1) Bobby-Ray (1 maybe 2), Joe-Bob (1), Cletus (2), That cute guy I met at the bar (1), That cute guy I met at the tornado clean-up (1), The guy I was sitting next to at the movies (2 - twins), can't remember, I was too drunk (1)**
   (If not sure, leave blank)

   Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) ** Education? Is that like school or something?**
   Total number of vehicles you own: 5

   Number of vehicles that still crank: 0

   Number of vehicles in front yard: 3

   Number of vehicles in back yard: 2 - actually, one of them was dropped there in the big tornado of 1976

   Firearms you own and where you keep them:
   ____ truck
   ____ bedroom
   ____ bathroom
   ____ kitchen
   ____ shed

   Model and year of your pickup: Chevy  1962  (Buy Amerikan!)

   Do you have a gun rack?

   If no, please explain: Gun racks are unsafe. You should never leave guns where the young'uns could see 'em. I hide them all under the bed.

   Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

   (_) The National Enquirer
   (_) The Globe
   (_) TV Guide
   (_) Soap Opera Digest
   (_) Rifle and Shotgun
   Number of times you've seen a UFO:_57_

   Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen
   Elvis: only three :(

   Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____

   How often do you bathe:
   (_) Weekly
   (_) Monthly
   (_) Not Applicable
   (_) Bathe?

Eeeewwwww, I hate water.

    Color of eyes:
    Right - blue-ish I think. It's been swolled up for the last month 'cause my boyfriend punched me for looking at that cute guy in the bar    left - none

    Color of hair:

   (_) None
   (x) Black
   (x) Red
   (x) Brown
   (x) White
   (_) Clairol

   Color of teeth:
   (_) Yellow
   (X) Brownish_Yellow
   (_) Brown
   (_) Black
   (_) No teeth at all.

   Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
   (_)Red Man
   How far is your home from a paved road?
   (_) 1 mile
   (_) 2 miles
   (_) just a whoop_and_a_holler
   (_) road?**

Our road was destroyed in the big tornado of 1976.

Wally, this was really funny. I want to be like you when I grow up