I’ll take: “What topics are the most likely to raise a great deal of rancor at the Straight Dope Message Board?” for five thousand, Alex.
True enough. Yet if I told people to dress in a particular way, I don’t think I’d feel justified in making judgements on their dress.
Sure, if I say “show up in a bowler, swimfins and a tutu” and then some people actually did so, I wouldn’t then say “Wow, John and Jane are so cool! They wore swimfins, bowlers and tutus!” If I insist that everyone wears a suit or evening gown, I don’t get to assume they are superior people because they actually did so. I get to assume I am inferior for having the sheer brassneck to tell them what to wear.
OK, back to the point - there are good reasons to make conclusions about people based on what they wear, but less so if you’ve told them what that should be.
And I would submit one’s character includes knowing what to wear to what event.
Hell, a bit of rambling never hurt anyone - about tipping or cats or, um, suits 
But in any case, the only way anyone will “stand out as a slob” is if there are people who are predisposed to judge them as such. The politest way to make people feel comfortable is not to care how they dress.
That is true, but if I were dressed inappropriately for an event, I would feel equally uncomfortable whether other people cared or not. And I think I am not unusual in that regard.
OK, link checked - sorry I missed it.
Yup, to my untrained eye you are looking pretty good.
If I dressed like that, though, I’d just look like a penguin. That’s because I’m not noticeably taller than a penguin anyhow…
One’s character consists of Compassion, Intelligence,Empathy, Trustworthyness, kindness, Patience,Resolve, Honesty, etc.
Fashion sence doesn’t make the list, except in bizzaro superficial world.
What definition of “dressed appropriately for an event” is independent of whether or not other people care? The only reason you’d feel uncomfortable is that you would assume others notice.
If that weren’t the case, you’d just wear what you liked.
I’m not talking fashion sense. Og knows I’m not up on haute coutre. But I wasn’t raised in a barn, and I know damn well you don’t wear Daisy Dukes to a funeral.
It’s called manners, and showing respect for the situation. Jeez, man.
Wow. You’re just not getting it.
Let me take my example one step further. I already showed you one picture from that show. Here is another.
These people had a very strict dress code. Unreasonable, elitist, and money-flashy in that case? Why?
But that’s YOU. Your wedding, your experience, your judgment of what is important. Other people may not feel the same way or draw the same conclusions. Because lemme tell you, if I was getting married and I specifically asked people NOT to wear something and they wore it anyway, I would be pissed. Not “you are dead to me! never darken my door again!” pissed, but pissed nonetheless. Why the fuck would they do that? You are admirable to decide not to be angry over that, but if you had been angry about it, you wouldn’t have been unreasonable.
WhyNot, tell him you know he looks handsome in a suit, and that you so seldom get to see him dressed up, it’d be a major treat for you to see him looking so handsome and sophisticated.
Patrick Swayze: “So, LobsterMobster, would you like to get married?”
Lobstermobster: “Of course, Patrick Swayze, I always thought you were sooooo dreamy”
Patrick Swayze: “Great! What kind of wedding should we have? A high waisted nut hugging topless manpants dance wedding? A ho down wedding? A wedding with a mid-1990’s grunge theme?”
LM: "those are all good ideas, but I think we should have a formal wedding. It will be a beautiful occasion for all to remember!:
PS: “Good Idea. I would like to extend an invitation to all of our friends, because we love them. But how do we get the word out that we would like a formal wedding?”
LM: “Well I think on the invitation we should request cocktail attire. That way we let our friends know, ‘we are having an event, this is the kind of event it is, we hope you choose to come’”
PS: “But what about our anti-establishment friend Stinkeye McGrumpyface? Don’t you think he’ll read that and think we are forcing him into clothes he isn’t comfortable in?”
LM: “Yes but he is clearly deranged. That’s why we love him. Other than him, I’m sure everyone else will realize that by inviting them to our special day, we have clearly voice our respect and love of their characters. Choosing to have a formal wedding is an aesthetic choice that every couple makes for their wedding.”
Wow. You’re just not getting it.
Let me take my example one step further. I already showed you one picture from that show. Here is another.
These people had a very strict dress code. Unreasonable, elitist, and money-flashy in that case? Why?
I used to be the rebel without a clue, the non-conformist who wore boots and jeans everywhere. Then, some time after I found my way out of the woods, say in my mid 20s, I realized that I really, really enjoyed the company of ladies in formal wear. Almost every lady, regardless of age or size, has a glow about them when they go all out.
I realized that, if I enjoyed the eye-candy they were so graciously providing, maybe they would enjoy it if I did the same. So, I started paying a little more attention to my appearance when the occasion called for it. My SO appreciated it. However, I didn’t concede on the boots. I just bought some nicer boots.
Yeah, it’s a game. If you don’t want to play it, stay home.
I have the same attitude about my nude vacations. First, almost all ladies have an attractiveness when they’re confident enough to be naked. Second, if you want to stand around and watch, get naked. Otherwise, go home.
That seems a little obvious. I’d probably approach it by saying something like “Look, you can’t fight every battle. I know that your principles are important to you, but if you want to make an issue of this, do it some other time. Just wear a damn suit!”
I’ve felt like that on occasions - it’s not ideal, but I do sometimes need to remember that life isn’t a crusade where I’m required to correct all perceived injustices. That’s why I have, at times, been spotted in a suit.
Ivylad and I have our anniversary dinner this weekend. We plan to dress up…probably not formal, but I think heels and stockings will come into play.
Yeah, but here’s the thing - I felt awful that I had tried to tell them how to dress. They wanted to wear formal kilts, and I never really thought my wedding was all about me. Or my ex-wife. It was a public celebration. Well, sort of public, anyhow. I was glad that they were there, and after I thought about it for a while I decided that, while I may view kilts as a cheesy Scottish cliché, my sartorial opinion was far less important than my high regard for them.
I should never even have mentioned the issue, let alone be angry about it.
Not in that case however if you had said. "Okay guys you now the costumes we have been using? Get rid of those, I expect everybody to buy a new costume for themselves out of pure silk " then that would have been as bad as your other case.
One default assumption that seems is being made is that dressing up is a chore, uncomfortable, and unpleasant, and is only done for the benefit of others. Can we adopt the more realistic attitude that a great many people enjoy dressing up and looking nice, and it makes them feel good? Probably more true of women than men, but I’d bet a sizable percentage of men have that attitude as well.