1)Everyone does it worldwide
2)Some epople are very good at it
3)plenty of variety! All kinds of events!
Think of it, you got endurance competitions (tantric sex event). Acrobatical competitions (Floor excercises, positions and transfers- you must achieve a load of positions while never breaking from your partner, self fullfillment competitions). Orgasm events (achieving the most in a time span). Sychronized events.
Sounds great and the ratings would go through the roof
“The coxswain has really got his team in sync! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!”
“The couple from Denmark are putting on a frantic drive to the finish, it looks like they’re headed for gold - wait! He slipped off the spot! She’s lost the moment! Oooh, that’s a automatic 5 tenths deduction and a pissed partner!”
“Wow! He REALLY stuck that landing!”
“The Americans have no reason to go home with their head hung low…”
“Next up - the breaststroke finals!”
“Tell me again, Jim. They hang the ribbon where?”
“Uh oh, looks like the Chinese male has sustained an injury! Yep, he’s definately got a limp…”
There’s a late 70s movie called The Groove Tube which does a skit about this. It has Chevy Chase and the guy from Homicide who used to be a comedian in it. Pretty funny stuff… especially the play-by-play where they’re discussing the merits of various insertion techniques etc.
Didja ever see a thread that just kinda captured your imagination? This one got mine!
“Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the men’s ‘clean and jerk’ and women’s ‘squats’ qualifying rounds!”
“The French posted their first ever Olympic gold today, setting a new world record in the broad jump.”
“22 more athletes were disqualified today after testing positive for Viagra. This is the worst Olympic scandal since the infamous ‘Lake Flaccid’ fiasco. In related news, the IOC has reiterated it’s stance that powdered rhinocerous horn is not a banned substance. The Japanese contingent was quoted as saying “Bonzai!”.”
“At the Opening Ceremonies grand finale, the Olympic flame was dramatically lit by Bob Dole. The flame, resplendant in a skin tight, sequined mini-skirt bearing all the Olympic colors, pranced about the stage for a full half hour while lip synching Madonna’s greatest hits. Juan Antonio Samaranch had a massive coronary and fell 33 feet to the stadium floor. As a result, the necrophilia competition will be moved up on the schedule. In tribute, Mr. Samaranch’s body will be used in the gold medal round. An IOC spokesman said “He wouldn’t have wanted it that way, but we thought it would be damn funny.””
Andrej Jorskën of Sweden won the gold medal today in the 2-minute Dirty Talk.
Olympic judges say that it was no contest after he made it clear that he wanted to “lube them up like a mechanic and send his beef bus crashing through the back door”.
Xia Leoung of Korea won the silver, narrowly missing with his comment “I’m going to pound your hole so hard your orgasms will have orgasms”. Judges said that this comment was too close to qualifying for the Homosexual Dirty Talk event (to be held tomorrow, check local listings) to win the gold medal.
Right… back when I was in high school, everybody saw “The Groove Tube,” which featured a sketch about the Sex Olympics. The champions were the German team or Kurt Stemm and Kristina Busch. (Yes, all the jokes were like that.)
