@digs had a good idea to make a dedicated space for us ADHD folks. Feel free to rant or share tips or whatever.
I was diagnosed at age 34 with ADHD innatentive type (no hyperactivity, which is commonly overlooked). I’ve been on a non-stimulant medication that’s not working (Strattera) but I finally advocated for myself to start Vyvanse tomorrow! That will be my first time trying a stimulant - hopefully it won’t send my anxiety into overdrive.
The pandemic and working from home have been ADHD hell. I realized things were pretty dire when I couldn’t point to a single accomplishment in April. I’m good at meeting deadlines but anytime I don’t have structure or I have random stuff with no deadline I fall apart. Housework? Kablooie. It took me six years to write my first novel. My life is littered with unfinished things.
Out of sheer desperation I tried this online group coaching program called Focused and it’s really helping. The only problem is I’m currently in one of the most stressful weeks at work that I’ve ever had. It’s my own damn fault which just makes it feel worse. This grant application is a fucking hydra - answer one question and two more pop out. And because I have a son and dedicated childcare days, I can’t rearrange my schedule at will. I’m currently trying to find extra hours to get this done. But the anxiety associated with the task has made it so hard to focus.
Anyway, that’s me and my stupid week. How are you?
I had a little project at the start of the year called “Find all the ADHD members of your family!” We’re currently at two - me plus Number Two Child (now 15) who had the mother of all horror years during Home Learning Time (about half the last school year) which is really what started us on this journey.
Child in question is recapping all my own greatest hits including “what is this thing called ‘having places for your posessions’?”, “floors and where to find them (under the Stuff)”, “of course I’m not asleep yet, I’ve only been in bed an hour” and “it’s what time already?”
I started having sessions with a psych a few months ago, which started with ‘big long chat about your history’, went through ‘big long questionnaire with spouse’, ‘sidetrack into “is it really ASD?”’, ‘examination of documentation including a truckload of school reports’ and ending up at ‘so theres drugs and theres behavioural interventions … let me lay it all out for you in great detail’ (I’ve been taking low dose Ritalin three days now. It’s subtle but I think helpful)
Child got their appointment with a psych on Monday and we ended up with “okay, here’s some scripts for drugs, also some questionnaires to find out if it’s really ADHD”. Which I found … slightly discombobulating. On the other hand, I also think Child is a much clearer case than me, and all my friends seem to be on team “ADHD? You? Hell Yeah!” so I’m going with the flow for the moment.
Working from home is absolutely ADHD hell, and you have my sympathy. I’m doing it today for the first time in possibly months, because we currently have An Outbreak (in Melbourne terms this means “there is definitely some un-tracked-down covid somewhere in the city”) and on hearing we had to wear masks to go in to the office again pretty much everyone threw up their hands with a ‘fuck that noise, see you in two weeks’. It’s coming up to midday and my work accomplishments for today are…I went to A Meeting!
First day on Vyvanse. Small starting dose. Had slight euphoria which is somewhat normal, then a deep sense of calm for a few hours. So it’s great that it appears to decrease my anxiety. I got some work done pretty easily. It seemed to decrease my impulsivity for a while. No notable side effects other than me being wide awake at 1:30am with a full roster tomorrow.
Also learned that citrus fruit reduces effectiveness. I had a half grapefruit for breakfast and two mandarins so the effect may be even stronger tomorrow. Shame I have to give up my favorite fruits.
My first dose of Ritalin was amazing, it sort of anchored me inside my body. I felt me snap into it. But it only happened that way on the first dose.
But anyway years ago I found a good support group in CHAAD (children and adults with ADD), some people who I have kept in contact for years, and even hired one. Though I haven’t visited them in quite some time, it may be worth a visit.
If it helps: I was on stimulants when I was younger, and they thought my anxiety symptoms were ADHD symptoms. And, yet, even then, it didn’t make my anxiety worse.
I also note that one of the stimulants was the first time I lost weight. And I didn’t actually feel like I was any more active, so I think it just curbed hunger.
Apparently Vyvanse is also used to treat binge eating disorder. I can see why. I have to force myself to eat, but I think I’m going to have to eat every three hours. I crashed pretty hard in the afternoon, but as soon as I ate it kicked in again. It’s like food sustains it.
I took Strattera for a while, plus a low dose of Adderall. It worked OK, but then it started making my blood pressure go up and I had to stop taking it. Without it, I take Adderall in a higher dose and guanfacine. The Adderall does increase my anxiety, and it makes me clench my teeth. I pretty much hate how it makes me feel, except for the fact that it allows me to focus and be productive.
I’m in the process of trying to set up a new prescriber because my old one retired. (And I procrastinated getting a new one…)
I think my anxiety plays a role in the procrastination as well, so dealing with that is also on the agenda.
(I am not a pharmacist or doctor).
Depending on your dosing regimen it might be possible to eat citrus at certain times of the day that won’t have a detrimental effect on your med. Perhaps a delicious citrus extravaganza before bed?
The Vyvanse/citrus thing is, (I think) as you said, a reduction in effectiveness and not a dangerous contraindication so if you ever forget and eat citrus while you’re on it don’t get worried or anxious. You might not even feel the difference.
I have ADHD which is beyond the pale. I have never seen or heard of anyone who has ADHD like this. I never say this to people though because so many believe that ADHD is made-up to begin with. I don’t say it to other ADHDers because then it seems like a pissing match.
It feels so good to say it here but now I’ll have to deal with Doper ADHDers asking for follow-up. I can’t handle that well but if I’m ever to get help for this is starts with talking about it.
I hope I can participate in this thread but ADHD is a real psychological problem and I am reluctant to talk about it and how the severity in my case seems worse than in others/
It’s all a spectrum, you know? We’re just here to support you. It’s true there is still a very real stigma against ADHD. I’ve had people not believe me because I don’t fit the stereotype. I have innatentive type, no hyperactivity, and my impulses are directed inward. But man it is a mess inside my head, and anxiety makes it worse.
I wonder if you have any comorbidities like an anxiety disorder that might be exacerbating your symptoms? Just something to think about.
My psych told me Ritalin was also an appetite suppressant but so far I personally have yet to see any decrease in my ravenous appetite - apparently my ravenosity is proof against piddly little things like Schedule 8 Drugs (I didn’t even know there were as many as 8 schedules for drugs…)
I am mildly disappointed.
Child is taking Vyvanse but her psych gave us a complicated schedule of “take the first pill apart and dissolve it, drink X amount for 3 days, Y amount for another 3…” and so on. So a gentle intro, which is good, but the stuff really doesn’t dissolve very well. No serious effects in any direction seen yet.
My insomnia is going nuts. I feel like the “slow release” thing has kicked into overdrive … maybe it’s meant to “slow release” over 8 hours but it feels like it’s doing it over about 18 hours, and I can catch my heart going kerthunk kerthunk at 3 in the morning. Luckily I’ve fully mastered my “yes it’s 5am, yes I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all the last 4 hours, watch me not give a damn” Zen technique (bolstered by the fact that I know I’m having microsleeps 'cos the Spouse tells me about it every time I start snoring…
Don’t be! We’re all floating in quicksand together. It’d be silly to say “Oh, s/he’s showing off by going under sooner!”
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Speaking of drugs, I went to a specialist… this doc’s whole schtick was prescribing ADHD meds until you find the right one. Every drug I tried kept me up at night and most got me wired during the day, too. I was heartbroken, thinking I’d never sleep again, or get help with my attention span.
FINALLY, after half a year of this, we found one that worked. I was more alert, more focused, and could sleep! My first good sleep in months.
I went back for my 2-week “Howzitgoin” appointment, gushed about this “new drug” and the old pill-pusher laughed, “I basically just gave you caffeine. So if this is the one that works for you, you can skip the prescriptions and have a second cup of coffee after noon.”
Ain’t that the truth. And of course it can catch you coming AND going, because the other end of that worm-can (to mix metaphors) is “hey, it’s not that bad, I’m a smart person holding down a responsible job - maybe I’m just constantly double-booking myself, missing events and live in a Hoarder House because I’m not trying hard enough! Maybe I’m actually ‘worried well’, taking drugs because I’m a lazy-arse who doesn’t want to do the actual work of keeping myself on track without them like All The Other Responsible People Which The World Is Full Of!”
Ain’t that the truth. And of course it can catch you coming AND going, because the other end of that worm-can (to mix metaphors) is “hey, it’s not that bad, I’m a smart person holding down a responsible job - maybe I’m just constantly double-booking myself, missing events and live in a Hoarder House because I’m not trying hard enough! Maybe I’m actually ‘worried well’, taking drugs because I’m a lazy-arse who doesn’t want to do the actual work of keeping myself on track without them like All The Other Responsible People Which The World Is Full Of!”