I am curious to know if any of the teeming millions have been involved in any sort of adoption reunion.
I have just been ‘found’, by a daughter I relinquished to adoption 27 years ago. We haven’t spoken or met, but I have received a letter.
I can’t begin to tell you what this feels like. An emotional tsunami comes closest.
It occurs to me that the teeming millions are a very diverse group of people and that, just maybe, there is another doper out there who’s been down this path.
How about it? Anyone out there been involved in anything like this? Know someone who has?
I’m an avid genealogist so when my mother (who was adopted) found her birth-mother I was quite happy to know where the blood that flows through my veins came from. Although she was one of those who weren’t that happy. She met my mother, they had a talk, it was pleasant, but she apparantly felt wierd about it and only met on the condition that my mother keep this secret from her half-siblings, which she has and that was it. But being a genealogist I was able to push her ancestry back to my 3rd great grandparents. Which led me into contact with a 1st cousin once removed of my birth-grandmother. She’s really nice and seems understanding.
It’s all in how people feel about it. If you feel guilty or if she feels betrayed then it might not be the best thing. I think my mother and her birth-mother fit both those discriptions. But there was recently a case in the paper about a mother who had to give up 2 of her 3 children and they just met after 45 years or so. Anyway they all seemed very happy. And since they all seemed reconciled with the past they probably will be able to get along in the future.
One bit of advice I can give for the parents is that this child will probably out live you. So it is almost certain that sooner or later your family will find out. But there’s no need to rush. Take it slowly and goo dluck on those emotions.
b. rat
My birthmother and I were reunited about four years ago via an online registry. We have formed a very warm relationship and grown quite close. In three weeks I will be the matron of honor at her wedding.
You don’t mention whether or not you were searching on your own… Did you want to be found?
I’ve had two, elbows!
My family was reunited with my older sister in 1988. My mom relinquished her for adoption at her birth, in 1966. Then I discovered that my dad was not actually my biological father–the aforementioned older sister and I actually had the same birthfather. We searched for him, and were reunited with him in 1991.
I’m also a birthmother. I relinquished a daughter in 1988, just two months before the reunion with my sister. I have an open adoption with her, though, so we are still very much a part of each other’s lives.
I’d like to share the details of both reunions with you, if you’d like to hear them. But not here on the boards–only because it’s a looooooong story, and if you think this board is slow now…
Email me if you’d like to talk sometime! Mrstrag767@yahoo.com.
Love, Cristi