I haven’t watched TV in awhile, so I’m not sure what airing now. But when I used to get off work at 2am, I watched a lot of late night TV. 2am also happen to be that exact moment each night when the commercials lose all shame.
There was the “Extenze” commercials which not only aired every single break, but were incredibly long. They were actually like three ads stuck together, so the first time I saw it I kept thinking it was about to end, only for it to just go back into more people talking about penises. The only bright point was during the “man on the street testimonials” segment, where they talk to a guy who looks and sounds just like Mr. Bean.
And, at least every other break included an ad for a text messaging equivalent to a 900 number. Just the concept alone bugs me. Even with a 900 hundred number you can’t tell if you’re talking to someone who looks even remotely like the woman in the ad, but at least you know it’s a woman (or at worst a very effeminate man). But with this you don’t know if you’re talking to a man, woman, or just something somebody wrote up in Python. But really annoys me is the woman in the commercial holding the phone up to her ear saying “I just love getting text messages”.
Then there’s the “Girls Gone Wild” ads. With those it just bothers me that I know there are people out there ordering these movies just because they’re frustrated because they can’t see what’s behind those black boxes. I wonder if they’re disappointed when they find out it’s just nipples. I thought I’d be glad when they stopped showing those ads, but they replaced them with “Boys Gone Wild”.
I haven’t seen GGW (no, really! It’s a bit pedestrian for my tastes), but I understand that the videos often eventually lead to actual lesbian and straight sex.
Enzyte commercials are rather funny. Extenze bothers the hell out of me. The man-on-the-street testimonials are so fake, and most are 40-something douchebags with toupees.
There’s a advert where the neighborhood guys are all grilling in the back yard and singing (or chanting or something.) I’m not sure what they are selling, charcoal or hotdogs, or what, but I turn this off immediately.
Microsoft has started their TV blitz for Bing. While I might have explored it, just to see how it works, after seeing those ads, it will be a cold day in Hell before I ever use it.
I hate the ads, too. They seem to be saying that all other search engine results are based on random free-association of whatever search term(s) you enter. Not to mention being very annoying as they degenerate into chaos with everyone within earshot adding to the din.
This line, alongside the line in the song that says “BK I wanna get witcha 'cuz you’re making me richer!” seems to imply that Sir Mix-A-Lot does indeed not find square butts attractive- the only reason he did the commercial was because he was getting paid for it.
The thing that confused me the most about this commercial was the controversy over it, about how “Burger King is selling sex to kids and using a beloved children’s character to objectify women!!!1one” There were many things wrong with this interpretation:
The advertisement was not intended for children- for one thing, it did not run on Nickelodeon itself, and the focus of the advertisement was gettting a kids meal for 99 cents with the purchase of an adult meal (my emphasis). BK ran a different ad on Nickelodeon itself emphasing the toys.
It is not “objectifying women”- if anything, it’s poking fun at the objectification of women. Square butts are not something that is considered attractive in real life.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Opal!
SpongeBob, although a show for general audiences that everyone can enjoy, has a few double entendres itself here and there: he lives in Bikini Bottom and one of his friends is named Sandy Cheeks, for example. Besides, there’s a lot of entertainment intended for general audiences and advertised for kids that have much more outspoken double entrendres- Baby Got Back itself was used in Shrek, for instance. SpongeBob himself often runs around in his underpants (and on some instances without). Even if a kid did see the ad, they’d probably laugh- they think butts are funny, and it’s not really out there in terms of the SpongeBob humor.
The Simpsons, as they often do, put protests like this the best when they had Ned Flanders explain why he was protesting Kent Brockman accidentially swearing on air by stating he was “imploring people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody even saw.” (Don’t even get me started on the Parents Television Council and their report on kids tv from a few years back. That thing was…so many things wrong about it.)
Holy shit! You’re right. Your post prompted me to check out Bing for the first time and looking at the page I thought I had accidentally typed in beng.com or something.
Ok, I’ll tell you one that absolutely insenses me…“Every kiss begins with Kay”. WTF is that supposed to mean?
Oh, right, if you give me some jewelry, I’ll have sex with you.
I forgot, I thought we didn’t say stuff like that anymore.
There’s an ad on Hulu that grates my cheese. It’s for Sprint’s 3G network. The entire commercial consists of the narrator listing off stats like “X number of people are researching restaurants from a cab. Y number of people left their phone in that same cab.” “A video of Jaime the Talking Dog is being uploaded from somebody’s phone to Youtube…now.”
I get the intent of the commercial, that Sprint’s 3G network is reliable enough to accommodate all these people doing all this different stuff, and it is mildly humorous…but what I really get out of it is “Big Brother Sprint is watching you and knows everything you’re doing with your phone.” Thanks, but I’d at least like the illusion of privacy, please.
Every time you write or type the word kiss, you first need to use the letter “k.” It’s a pun, not a statement that only they can get you laid. Their commercials aren’t as bad as the DeBeers cartel, where true love gets a dollar value.
Except they’re still airing. Caught the one for that mini burger press, towards the end, he invites people to join him. (paraphrase, wasn’t listening closely)
Those new Caramilk ads are annoying, and genuinely scary. I know how they get the caramel in there, and it doesn’t involve contemporary dance. It’s a very simple process that does not at all involve women who look like my old math teacher. Cadbury’s lucky I like Crunchie bars so much.