You forgot plasma. “New Tylenol Cold Plasma Capsules are so potent, they go directly to the cold viruses in your body and instantly disassociate electrons from nucleii, ionizing them!*”
[sub]*Side effects may include various aggressive cancers, agonizing pain, radiation sickness, and prolonged death throes.[/sub]
It’s not bizarre. It’s a catchy, hard rock riff playing in the background while soldiers do things like speed around in the zodiac, help launch a Tomcat off an aircraft carrier, and do other military things. 99% of the people who see the commercial have no idea what the title of the song is.
And the song is actually “Awake,” not “Sick of Life.”
I thought the same thing upon seeing this commercial - “Body soil? What the heck is body soil?”
You know, the products for women’s skin and hair are really terrible for this - they’re making up words all over the place, that mean exactly nothing. With liposomes? Fortified with rejuvena? Bionutrient? Cytonutrient? Hunh? It’s not just shampoo, conditioner, or skin lotion - it’s a SCIENTIFIC SYSTEM.
I’ve seen a lot of misrepresentation for this product, in advertising and press, but I’ll use the current example that’s on TV.
Napster had a commercial for their mp3 player and subscription service bundle, and it compares it to the iPod and iTunes. “Why spend almost $10,000 to fill up your iPod, when you can spend just $20/month to fill up any one of these players from the Napster subscription service?!”
It doesn’t cost a fucking dime to put music on an iPod. Let me repeat, it doesn’t cost a fucking dime to put music on an iPod. How about one more time? It doesn’t cost a fucking dime to put music on an iPod.
Yup. Just add in the Clinique counter-girls in their little labcoat dresses because apparently some high-up moron thought they should look all ‘science lab’ as they help you pick out your bionutrient rejuvena fortified systemme that somehow means all that powder is actually not going to get inside your pores and make them crank out the pus till you have a big ugly zit.
I stand corrected. And the riff is catchy. But if they played the lyrics following it, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense. But then, most of the recruiting commercials now are basically music videos anyway, and we know how much sense that makes.
I think they should adapt Spike Jonze’s “Weapon of Choice” video. That would be funny.
Stranger
To put it more accurately: not all iPod users get their music via iTunes at 99¢ per track.
The other little thing they forget to mention is that you’re not so much buying music as renting music. From napster.com: “It is necessary to maintain a Napster subscription in order to continue access to songs downloaded through the Napster service.”
No specific brand name, but I have been on the verge of going batshit over the hoopla regarding products that are “100% organic!!!” ("!").
After all, as I have pointed out to the Ottlets on several occasions, motor oil is, at heart, 100% organic.
Good thread, but, I have to disagree…
I bought the 3-blade Sensor on Sunday night. For the past two days Wifecat has been remarking just how smooth my face is now when I get home from work. It really is! It has been 12 hours since I shaved and I am smooth enough for below-navel excursions… 
The 3rd blade does something…or the first two help pull the hair out just a little more for the 3rd to do its work.
-Tcat
And it’s good for you, too.
I used to use Pennzoil for my dressings, but I’ve switched to a Castrol GTX/synthetic blend with a mid-prices basalmic vinegar. What do others use?
Stranger
And it’s good for you, too.
I used to use Pennzoil for my dressings, but I’ve switched to a Castrol GTX/synthetic blend with a mid-prices basalmic vinegar to prevent viscocity breakdown. What do others use?
Stranger
Nah, it just shaves your face another time. Three blades is like shaving your face three times for every swipe. With a nice, pawn-shop-robbing sharp straight razor you can get your face smoother than any safety razor. It’s just that you’ll cut your throat if your honey “accidentally” bumps into you while you’re trimming around the Adam’s apple. :eek:
And don’t even get me started on those stupid “lubrication strips”. Your face is covered in cream, and this little strip is supposed to do what, again? :rolleyes:
The Onion had a good article on this a few months ago. Ah, here it is: Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades. (Premium membership required 
) Excerpt ('cause it’s just too funny not to post):
That Onion membership is worth every farthing. Oh, uh, just like the SDMB membership. (Wheh!)
Stranger
I’ve been trying to find the Calvin and Hobbs strip where, in the last panel, Calvin rushes in to tell his parents something like, “Quick! I just heard about a product that I didn’t know existed 10 minutes ago but that I desperately need!”
Any Bayer aspirin ad. They try to make you think that their highly overpriced “brand” of acetylsalicilic acid is more curative than the generic brands that cost 1/10 as much, or less.
The stooopidest one of all time was the one for pantyhose that said,“It makes me feel like I’m not wearing nuthin.”
Another one which bugs me is a lolly commercial for jelly snakes which touts them as being “97% fat free”. No, really? I’m actually perversely impressed that you managed to fit any fat in, given that the damn things are almost pure sugar, with a dash of tartrazine, a soupcon of esters, and some ground up and boiled down horses’ hooves to glue it all together. Maybe that elusive 3% of fat was stubbornly adhering to the hooves. Still, they must be healthy - they’re 97% fat free!
The ad that really bugs me is the Lysol ad. This kid comes into the house to play with her kid. He has the temerity to sneeze on his toy train. The germ-phobic mom then douses the train with Lysol, thereby ensuring that no germs will ever touch her son. Am I the only one who thinks she’s a wee bit overly protective?
Nitpick, I know, but you sure about this? I know we don’t eat tigers lions cougars etc much, and I know they would eat us if they could and of course, extremely rarely they do.
But basically, we rule.
And let’s not forget the outdoor central air conditioning units that are available in designer colours. I don’t even remember the brand name. All I can think is “for pity’s sake, what kind of lame person needs to colour-coordinate their central air conditioning compressor?”
It usually has some fairly catchy music, though.
I dunno… I don’t have any kids, but I certainly wouldn’t touch something someone just sneezed on, especially not a kid.