Really stupid people choose FedEx. I think I’ll stick to brown.
Where I live (Boston) there are three furniture store chains that are CONSTANTLY on TV. They are (in order of obnoxiousness:
BERNIE and PHY: they do these horrible adds-they scream at you “Bernie and Phyl, quality comfort and price”!
Bobs: this guy is a retard-he thinks he’s putting over something-cheaply made junk at cheap prices
JORDAN’S: two gaeing hippies who keep jabbering on about how great their crap is
Likewise the creepy Orange Glow and Ding King guy, Billy Mays.
Many of the Quizno’s commercials.
The commercial with David Spade.
There is a local car guy who ends his commercials with “Arlis, you da man!” I can’t stand Arlis.
There is a local furniture company who tries to tell a story each week. The story involves the female narrarator sneaking off to buy furniture with her sister-in-law and how they try to keep the store’s location secret so no one else will discover their great deals. I often wonder just how big their place is, or how bad the furniture must be that they have to buy furniture *every *week…
It was High School football. And the thing is, they hear that their team lost, and turn off the tv, and just then the bus pulls up. Only the bus means they were playing an away game. And they pulled up right after the game. That means ther Applebee’s was rooting for the away team to win. Way to show your love of the community.
[claim to fame] I used to work for the marketing firm that handled the NBA. [/claim to fame] They provided marketing, research and advertising to any team that wanted it, provided they wanted the same branding and ad campaigns the league was producing. Usually the smaller the market, the more services the team got from the league.
My supervisor and I were talking about this a few days ago. One of the local car dealerships uses celebrity voice parodies in its radio ads telling everyone to “Come on down to ______ Dodge!” The ads usually feature people making pathetic attempts to sound like Eddie Murphy, Austin Powers and Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’s sad. Anyone who resorts to a cheesy gimmick like that won’t get my business.
The same goes for the local real estate agent who water skis throughout his TV commercial to demonstrate that he has experience with waterfront property. My supervisor thinks the guy needed an excuse to write off the boat on his taxes. 
I forgot about all the “4 hour erection” commercials. It is a sad day when you can’t watch regular tv with your mother without embarrassment. Have you ever noticed the difference between a Viagra (or whatnot) commercial on Food Network and, say, Spike TV. On Spike, it is all about fast cars and racing…lots of speed. On Food, there is a woman looking into the camera with a straight face saying “He is doing this for us.”
Unless that couple is Bob and Bob’s wife of Bob’s Furniture, I’m afraid you’re mistaken and they’re only the world’s second most annoying couple.
Quizno’s scary puppet things made me vow never to buy their food. I think death threats ought to be sent to the creator of the “Have a Happy Period” campaign.
Dairy Queen is rerunning ads from last year featuring a cop and his sidekick addressing the camera starting with “Boy, you’ve been making noise all over Texas” and ending with “But you’re not getting away this time because you look good. And, boy, you do look good.”
Of course, they’re talking about a Frito pie hamburger. Good Christ, there’s no way to make that commercial not sound skeevy. I don’t understand how any Dairy Queen reps could have heard the pitch without hearing the music from “Deliverance” inside their heads.
There’s a new KFC commercial where a woman walks in the door to find her late-teens/early-20s daughter eating chicken and sides in the kitchen. When the mom asks if she went to a casual-dining restaurant (to borrow a phrase no one in the real world ever actually uses), the daughter responds “No, it’s KFC. It’s half the price of a casual dining restaurant!”
The mom replies “With all the money you’re saving, why haven’t you moved out?”
It’s incredibly bitchy. “You’ve saved four bucks, now you’re out the door!”
I pretty much hate any ad that is targeted at my girly bits.
The Midol Ad: three girls are at the beach, sunning their tight tummies in bikinis. One says something like, “Aren’t you on your period?” and the other says, “Aren’t you bloated and irritable?” And then third friend explains all about Midol and its awesomeness. At the end of the ad, the girls are leaving the beach and the PMS girl says, “I’d KILL for a brownie right now.” (This is the part that gets me) PMS girl’s friends turn and say, in unison: “Yeah! SHE’S MENSTRAUL!”
I’d punch any of my friends that thought it’d be a good thing to say that to me.
The Tampex Pearl Ad: You know the one. They’re on a date. In a boat. Boat springs a leak. She has an UNOPENED box of tampons in her purse. She plugs hole. ALL BETTER! Aside from the fact that no woman ever carries an entire box of tampons with her, I am more bothered by the fact that I don’t want something that is so tough that it can jam up a leak in a boat. . . in my crotch. :eek:
That New “Female” Yogurt: The scene: a college dorm room. Friend A walks in and asks friend B if she wants to get something to eat (or something like that). Friend B says: “No, I’m bloated and irritable.” WTF? Who talks like that? “Hey, Diosa: you wanna go get some detergent at Target?” “Na, sorry, I’m bloated and irritable!” (The point is that this yogurt is good for a woman’s tum or something. . . who knows?).
I also hate the blue liquid. Oh, and the patch commercials: “Isn’t it hard to remember to take the pill every day?” No, it’s not. Really, it isn’t that hard. In fact, I’d wager that having a kid would be way more complicated.
Tomorrow, if all goes well, I am buying a 23-inch HD monitor to replace the dual CRTs on my computer. Thye monitor can also accept an S-video or composite-video input, as from a cable box. I was thinking of subscribing to cable again, after four and a half years without. After reading this thread, I may reconsider that subscription and just stay with watching DVDs and net video.
I don’t know whether many of the commercials described ever made it to Canada, but I’ve seen enough of the ones that have to give me nightmares. And just hearijng the descriptions of the rest might give me daymares.
The Snuggles bear. The Burger-King king. “Have a happy period.”
shudder
What about those annoying commercials with the goofy looking guy who is taking some kind of “sexual enhancement drug” and they are using a constant string of innuendo about hardons. “And a happy wife at home…” I think his name is Bob. I can’t stand those!!
Any infomercial.
The guys that are “jellin’ like a felon”
The woman’s shavers for use in the shower that have the big bulbous end on the handle and vibrate. Taking longer in the shower these days?
Digger the Dermatophite. I don’t give a rat’s ass if my foot falls off - I’ll never buy the product in question, because I’ve effectively blocked its name from my brain. Just seeing that little cartoon pest lift up the toenail and go to town makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out.
VCNJ~
Oh dear Og.
Please tell me you are kidding.
Please?
shudder
Dude. Billy Mays will come to your house and kick your ass. Watch the commercials again and marvel at his glory.
He does the double point, the double thumbs up, the simul-point-thumbs-up, and the once only theorized, simul-double-thumb-up-point.
Two hands, two upturned thumbs, two index fingers pointing forward. They said it couldn’t be done, they said no one was bold enough, no one was man enough…then Billy Mays did trod upon the Earth.
I hate that commercial too, only I tend to take the mom’s side. If you’re mooching off of me, you better be eating baloney sandwiches, kid! 
There’s a similar one here - I feel much the same way you do.
I will never buy the products, but I do find them amusing - any ad where the company has named some active ingredient so it sounds amazing - “Nutrileum”, for example. This is mostly hair products.
Or new technologies - also in hair products “light reflecting technology that makes your hair shinier”.
Or ridiculous claims - “reduces frizziness by 87%!” - there’s a new standard measurement for frizziness, is there? There are even worse ones. And similarly, ones where they say “87% of women reported that it reduces the appearance of wrinkles”, and at the bottom of the screen it says, in small type: “based on a survey of 7 impressionable women, 6 of whom were related to the researcher involved”. Or some such.
The worst ones for me are when they pretend to be a TV programme, or interview bad actors pretending they are real people whose problems were solved by the product.
No woman ever carries an entire box of tampons with her? Then I guess I’d better get that unopened box of emergency tampons out of the bottom of my backpack.
But your other point is a good one - industrial fanny-plug? Scary. It makes me think you’d dehydrate from the inside out if you put one inside you.
We have a commercial here locally for one of those no money down everyone gets financed car places. It’s typical and brash, and the kids of the owner have grown over the years of appearing in the commercials. What I don’t get is that in all the narration, the girl has a normal midwestern accent, very neutral. Then she gets to the tagline and sounds like June Carter Cash. “Where reguuuller folks BAUY FER LESS!”. And yes, it’s shouted in a very strong fake southern Tennessee accent. Who are regular folks, anyway?
On another note, I adore the Ask.com commerical with the orangutan, and the pinchy honda element commercial.
Ah, yes, the infamous “flip-top toenail.” I think I get a little woozy watching that commercial, and I’ve watched a real-life autopsy. Exactly what the manufacturer’s were going for, I’m sure.