Adverts you hate so much you'd never use the products,

[dwc1970]

@Terrorcotta

The Burger King is a little frightening to me.

Then there was that series of icky things singing off key about something for a sandwich shop. I hated it so bad I wouldn’t watch it and refuse to remember who it was for. How’s that for the imapct of negative advertising?

Quiznos?

[Cicero]

In Australia, during the recent Cricket World Cup, we have had incessant advertisements for XXXX Gold Beer. They must have been written by someone who believes no one with an IQ above 20 would watch the sport anyway- they are breath takingly humourless, offensive, and dim witted. They have such hilarious , lovable characters and a dog fetching a ball and slobbering all over it (funny eh?), some guy getting hit in the crotch (really ground breaking), and the normal yobs.

[toadspittle]

@dwc1970

Quiznos?

The Spongmonkeys. Love those guys. I sing that song all the time.

[MerryMagdalen]

@Hypno-Toad

I always fantasize that the crowd all stare at the guy and then shout, “He went to Jared!? KILL HIM!” The rest of the (extended) commercial is the guy getting a family-sized beat down while his now ex-girlfriend cries tears of rage and spits on him.

@anamnesis

In the skit, she’d instead come up to him while he’s smiling and saying “Hey honey, did you try the cha-” and she’d kick him square in the balls while he doubles over clutching his groin. She’d continue kicking him on the ground as all his friends and colleagues look on, some in surprise, some in shock, some smiling with bemusement. You’d only see their expressions instead of the beating the husband is receiving for not getting an overpriced trinket from Jared. The wife then stomps off after her tirade, leaving her husband bloodied and sterile, and one of his friends would crouch down next to him and knowingly whisper “You should’ve gone to Jared.” The husband would nod, wince, and smile in pain (missing several teeth) and say “I thould’f gawn ta Jarud.” Then all the Stepford wives would blithely smirk, nod their heads in unison, and turn back to their champagne.

Y’know, I like the way you two think. Ideally, though, we should get the actual account executives who approved these ads to play the husbands.

[Bobotheoptimist]

Even if I was interested in boxing, the incessant “Mayweather-de la Hoya” commercials would insure I didn’t pay to watch that fight. “Dr, I’ll take Mayweather” “Houston, I’ll take de la Hoya” “Roger that, you said Mayweather?”

Gah! Just make it stop!

[OpalCat]

@cher3

I don’t eat a lot of fast food, but I’ve maintained my vow never to eat at Carl’s Junior, based on my hatred of several disgusting commercials they made featuring young guys smacking their chops and dripping their food all over.

Those commercials were nauseating.

[OpalCat]

I would never shop at the jewelry store Jared. Their commercials are so amazingly offensive, and their radio jingle gives new meaning to the word “irritating”.

[Shamozzle]

Oh and what about the Sprite (or is it 7up?) commercials: “Image is nothing. Obey your thirst.”

Oh yea? If image is nothing, why the hell did you place a multi-millionaire athlete in your add to tell me that?

[OpalCat]

@MerryMagdalen

Fucking Jared Jewelers!! They’re not everywhere in the US but we have several in the area and I hate hate hate their ads.

Always there’s a poor schlub who’s bought a diamond for his lady friend/wife to be/etc., and the woman’s family always sit around whispering to each other, “He went to Jared!” Old men slap the schlub on the back and say, “You went to Jared!” Other men fume with jealousy…

No the ones that are so much worse are where some guy has bought jewelry for his shallow, moneygrubbing whore-girlfriend, meanwhile some other guy bought his date something from Jared. The whore-girlfriend then actually has the audacity to get PISSED OFF at her boyfriend for having dared to get her gift somewhere other than Jared. I think that would be justifiable homicide, personally.

I also hate the Quiznos commercial with the donkey-braying laughing Asian woman who says that they aren’t lacking any meat, which is what “real women need–BRAAAAAAAY BRAAAAAAAAY”. That commercial makes me want to throw things.

[jkusters]

In general, I eschew any product that is advertised using anthropomorphic food. But the worst ad campaign for me was Mentos. Hey, pop one of our mints into your mouth and you can be excused from being a self-centered unethical jerk!

JOhn.

[Patty_O_Furniture]

@luvtinayothers

There’s some commercial for a car rental company, I’m not sure which one because I turn the channel the minute it comes on, that features customers and employees communicating to each other by opening their mouths wide and having rock music blare out of their mouths at each other. It is the dumbest commercial I’ve ever seen and it bothers me so.

I’ll show you my tonsils if you show me yours!

I agree. No more rentals from that company.

[PunditLisa]

Chrysler’s new Town & Country commercial is horrendous. It features a van full of unruly, loud, obnoxious children. Suddenly mom flips down the DVD player. The noise stop. The announcer says something to the effect of “When the kids are happy, everyone’s happy.”

Lazy parents: instead of disciplining your kids, just give them more shit.
:rolleyes:

[hawksgirl]

@OpalCat

I also hate the Quiznos commercial with the donkey-braying laughing Asian woman who says that they aren’t lacking any meat, which is what “real women need–BRAAAAAAAY BRAAAAAAAAY”. That commercial makes me want to throw things.

Ugh, I mostly hate her because she thinks that she is SO DAMN FUNNY. She’s not, she sounds like a 16 year old boy.

I would have gone with a “that’s what she said” instead.

[Jackmannii]

I’m surprised those Jared ads are pissing off people. I mean, I heartily dislike them too but thought it was just a local radio irritant.

I don’t know what Washington Mutual is selling in all those ads with the herds of dumb white bankers and the one smart black guy, but I’m not buying it.

I would like to whack the Geico gecko with a large wooden mallet.

We have an oncologist here at the hospital who is almost a dead ringer for Enzyte Bob. Very strange.

[OneCentStamp]

@jkusters

In general, I eschew any product that is advertised using anthropomorphic food. But the worst ad campaign for me was Mentos. Hey, pop one of our mints into your mouth and you can be excused from being a self-centered unethical jerk!

JOhn.

I actually showed up at their corporate offices to complain about how stupid that ad campaign was. I burst into a board meeting, baseball bat and rotten orange in hand, raving about the fucking freshmaker commercials. The Mentos execs looked at me blankly for a moment. Then they started popping Mentos in their mouths and we all shared a good laugh. Silly me.

[Made_in_Macau]

Wow.
The OP here with some more.
Thanks Cicero for reminding me of the Cricket World Cup - Marstons Pedigree is a nice beer that I have sometimes enjoyed. Not any more.
They showed at the beginning and end of every ad break throughout the interminable competition, and featured footage of real umpires signals with ‘witty’ captions, such as; umpire signalling wide - caption, ‘who’s round is it?’ It just never got old. Or powerplay signal accompanied by ‘Pedi’s all round’ I’ve never heard anyone call Pedigree ‘Pedi’, but maybe they do in Hoxton or Islington or wherever the fuck those brain-dead cretins who thought this lazy-arsed excuse for humour on the basis that THEY didnt understand the signals made it funny, live.
Which leads me onto, STRONGBOW CIDER. 3 young casual men walk up to a bar; the one in the middle says, ‘2 lagers and a I’ll have a Strongbow’. Forget the rest of the 'vert - the damage is done. This makes me want to find the admen who vomited up this (again) lazy, cod-psychological dogphlegm, and say to them, ‘My name is Made in Macau, you killed my evening, prepare to die’.
You see from the above description, it doesnt sound sooo bad, but here’s what actually happens. The guy is in the middle , he’s therefore alpha male yet he looks a bit tubby, maybe a bit geeky, the 2 others are taller, the black guy is gorgeous, so how can he maintain his position? Ah, all is revealed when he speaks. ‘2 pints of lager’ he says as he waggles his thumb at the others as if to say, get my boys any lager, doesnt matter they’re all the same and these 2 couldnt tell one from another cos they have no taste, but me… he jerks his thumb back at his sternum ‘I’ll have a Strongbow’. Oh now I see! you have the discernment to keep you at the head of the pack, it sets you apart from the others, makes you your own man. No corporate slavery for you, no way - you drink STRONGBOW!
I think I ve covered the first 5 seconds. Maybe I’ll leave it there.
MiM

[look_ninjas]

Apparently, Head On has now branched out. You can apply directly where it itches, you can apply directly to your scars, you can apply directly to your arthritis pain… It makes me want to apply a baseball bat directly to someone’s head.

[OpalCat]

@Jackmannii

I’m surprised those Jared ads are pissing off people. I mean, I heartily dislike them too but thought it was just a local radio irritant.

You mean you’ve escaped the highly offensive TV ads??

[brewha]

@Antigen

I will never use Vonage because of the woo-woo-woo song in their ad.

Oooh That pisses me off to no end. I got that stupid jingle in my head right now and that pisses me off. It’s like they’re too stupid to come up with a jingle and words so they just woo-woo their way through it. Fuck off Vonage!

[JSexton]

@OpalCat

I also hate the Quiznos commercial with the donkey-braying laughing Asian woman who says that they aren’t lacking any meat, which is what “real women need–BRAAAAAAAY BRAAAAAAAAY”. That commercial makes me want to throw things.

THANK YOU. My wife doesn’t get why I cringe whenevver her dumb ass is on my TV. That laugh cuts glass.