On the other hand, he chose her, calls the mother of his child “psycho-bitch,” and seems possibly a bit self-justified at the child hating her rather than mentioning trying to alleviate that for his child (is that for the child or for his own ego?) right? I think most often there are no adult victims.
Sorry to hear about your marriage woes. People often say financial problems are one of the biggest marriage enders there is, but it’s really often just a symptom - the real woes underneath seem to be your wife’s addiction to materialistic or good expensive things, and lack of consideration for you, and perhaps lack of financial sense or also just as others said, being narcissistic or excessively self-willed.
And of course we’ve only heard one side. I’d bet we’d hear a whole different facet of this if we heard the wife’s side, not to mention the kids’ sides.
I really don’t mean to be argumentative. I just feel like many more people could reach a better solution if they accepted their likely fair share of the problems, which would include lack of going that extra mile to work on it regardless of the partners sins.
I read a large study while getting my master’s in social work (which I can’t think of the name of now) but from my real life observations, I believe it. The gist of it was the children even from less than happy homes did far better on all scores as adults than those from broken homes.
I don’t think it’s a kindness to do that thing people do where they agree with the aggrieved party and tell them they are right regardless of the obvious fact that that’s one side of the story and etc.
Okay, I’ll leave now! 
I sure can’t say that my cousins had a great life after their parents’ divorce - but they didn’t have one before, either. The thrown objects, insults, shouting, accusations of infidelity at the top of their lungs, sure weren’t what I’d call a great life. Sometimes divorce really is the best option, or at least the least-bad one. Those two should never have been married, period.
Yes, definitely sometimes it is. As long as we also figure in that that child will be raised with half the money and parental attention, at least. Likely worse schools, less supervision, etc. and that’s just the start of the true disadvantage the children receive when the parents bail.
I am probably biased but I am from a broken home and heard from my parents “Me, me, meeeee” regardless of how they preferred to see it or project it onto the world. My life went from okay to true and lasting suckage, regardless of what they prefer to say.
I have also been married 30 years and have an MSW in social work, so it is just my opinion but it is also an educated and experienced opinion.
From what’s been said, I’d tell OP suck it up, get in there and fight to fix it some more first. You both owe more to your kids and you might both be very pleasantly surprised in a year or two. That’s what I’d tell my own son.
But- I am only going on what has been said and I realize I am not actually the answer grape lol.
Ha, I never know what to do when I’ve already promised to shut up but then someone responds to my posts!
Please find someone to help you with this, some kind of therapist or counselor. Yes, your relationship with your children has been permanently altered but that does not mean that it will be worse. Different isn’t worse. And as long as you are finding each day difficult you need some help to get out of that depression. Depression does not go away by itself. I am the toughest person I know (joking) and I had to be in therapy for a few years to get over it, and still, at times, have to work on it. Get some help. You do not have to do all of this alone.
And if you find someone and it doesn’t help, find someone else. There’s help out there. PM me if you would like more inspirational talks! Seriously, don’t just sit there. Did the marriage counselor seem like someone you could talk to by yourself? If not, could he or she refer you to someone? Please, for your kids and your life, get some help.