Advice -- Don't try to kill your new spouse's ex on the way home from the wedding

The couple that slays together stays together? Apparently not!

Quick note to Marissa:

When you’re the one that ended up marrying the guy, that means you’ve won.

I always say that if, after your wedding, you’re legally married, nobody got arrested or sent to the hospital, and everybody who was speaking to each other before the wedding still is, the wedding went well. This wedding did not go well.

He got ‘disorderly conduct’?
Why? I must assume he protested when the cops dragged his wife from the car.

So he could spend the night with his bride

For some reason I find it funny that they “split a bottle of champagne” after the wedding. Like what did they do, sit in the parking lot, passing the bottle back and forth, planning their short-lived crime spree?

…on the next Sick Sad World!

“This my special day dammit. The chocolate fountain was supposed to be white chocolate and it’s milk chocolate. The butterflies were supposed to be released as we said our vows not as we walked down the aisle. And the ex-girlfriend was supposed to be killed before the ceremony. God, do I have to do everything myself?”

Sounds like they got married at Unstable Town Hall.

For certain values of “won” - I have a feeling this guy isn’t one of them.

True. And the guy certainly lost. I bet right now he’s saying “Darn, I should have married the other homicidal maniac bitch. I hate it when that happens.”

22:20 hours baku time first ever I snorted my vodka grapefruit over my keyboard as a direct result of a straightdope post!

Mr Der Trihs I feel the urge to buy a 1966 chevy and come over to the states and run you over! Please forewarn your ex spouse(s)

Hmmmmm, I wonder why she didn’t get two counts of attempted murder?

The kid was quicker than the mom