understand where you’re coming from but that’s something that he can declare AFTER he’s tried them. The odds are justs likely that he sleeps just fine with the earplugs, or at the very least finds out the reduce the noise to an acceptable level for him, to which he could explore more expensive and better quality alternatives. Hell I would even BUY THEM FOR HIM, whatever it would take to reach an acceptable compromise. As for deskapace I’m afraid there isn’t enough cover or space to erect some kind of fort, and even then the top would have to be covered so sound couldn’t bleed out. And after a quick trip to the lobby I can confirm that there are no Ethernet ports for me to hook up to my computer anyways. What am I supposed to do now? Buy a $30 wireless adapter so I can move into the lobby and then wake him wide up moving back in the early morning when ?I’m finished?
I don’t want 4 nights a week though. I’m perfectly fine not touching my computer during the weekdays like I always have. All in asking is till 2 or 3 on Friday and Saturday nights. There are no Ethernet ports in the lobby anyways for me to move my desktop to so the waking up while moving back in is a moot point, but to reinforce that claim he has told me that three times so far my “late night water breaks are too loud” all that those consists of is me opening the fridge and quietly getting a drink of water. And this is after I get a designated cup so that the plastic bottles don’t cause too much noise, now to take it even further I need to get a straw for said cup. I can tell you that if I were to move my desktop back into my room at 6 or 7 in the morning it would absolutely wake him up
It’s not “entitlement”. He’s made multiple accommodations to cut down on the light and sound and then checked with his resident assistant who told him that he was being reasonable.
If this other guy is such a hothouse flower that he’ll wilt with any light or sound then it’s on him at this point to take action. Get some earplugs or hang some heavy curtains around the bed to block out sound/light distractions. Or find some other solution besides whining that the college dorm world is being too mean to him.
11pm (or even later) on a weekend night is not unreasonable, especially in a college situation. That’s when most people are still awake and living life. If this guy wants to be the exception then it’s on him to make it happen.
A couple things: it sounds like your roommate is on a set schedule, but exactly what hours does he sleep? If he’s in bed by eight as you’ve said a couple of times, surely he is up by 6 or earlier. Even it it’s really something like midnight, likely he’s getting up by 7 am. So why would you ‘have’ to wake him up by moving your gear back in the room earlier than that? You already want to be up until seven or eight, you’ve said, so he’ll be in the process of waking up anyway. And if a particular session ends at 5 or 6, well, hell, you’ve got the internet at hand. Find something to kill time until 7.
So that’s my first suggestion: can you get your roommate to agree to a set schedule? If you are quiet (or gone) between midnight and 7 am., will he agree not to gripe about whatever the rest of the time?
On a more permanent level, you need a different roommate. Start looking right now for another night owl. Ideally a gamer, but someone who is routinely stays up to 3 - 4 - whatever at least on weekends for ANY reason should be fine. Put out some ads, ask around, whatever. Neither of you is really “the problem”, the problem is that the two of you are trying to coexist in a little dorm room.
On weekdays he sleeps from 8 at night to 10 in the morning, and on weekends he sleeps from 12 or 11 till usually 1 or 2(I’m up right now on my phone for instance and he’s still sleeping in his bed currently) my typical sessions are in weekends only. During the week he gets his sleep regardless because I just don’t use my computer. I’d love to, but he needs his sleep because he has classes vso I just leave it alone. The problem is on weekends. I can’t move my computer regardless because the lobby on the floor which is the only reasonable place I can take it, has no Ethernet ports, and at that point I can’t move the thing even if I wanted to so it’s a moot point. My original compromise was that instead of going till 6 or 8 I would go till 3, that way I get SOME extended time on Friday and Saturday nights and he doesn’t have to deal with me but only 3 hours past his usual weekend bedtime (and on top of that make use of the earplugs I provided to help him get through it)
The issue is he shut me down immediately and said no, and that as a human being I should never want to wake anyone while they are trying to sleep. I agree with him on that but reminded him that things aren’t so simple because just as he pays to be in the room so do I, and that the only actual fair thing to do would be to come up with a solution where we both sacrifice something ad get part of what we want, but he insist that there is no compromise to be made, and is just not even trying to meet me halfway
As a human being he should learn that the world doesn’t revolve around him and he’s going to have to make allowances and compromises as part of our shared human experience. Sounds like someone was excessively pampered by Mommy & Daddy back at home and doesn’t understand how society works.
Honestly, it sounds as though you’ve put forth more than enough effort and have the agreement of the local Powers That Be that you’ve been accommodating to try and solve this. At that point, you’re not being “entitled” if you want to keep living your life past sundown, this guy needs to grow up and take some responsibility for his half of it. Saying “No, it’s my sleep and I deserve it now so everyone cater to me!” isn’t taking responsibility.
Assuming you have a standard US college schedule, aren’t you guys set to leave in another 4-6 weeks? Are you saddled with this guy again come fall?
Okay, those times are INSANE. 8 to 10 is FOURTEEN hours, 12 to 1 is THIRTEEN hours. Someone sleeping that much regularly (as opposed to catching up after some emergency all night study session) is ABNORMAL. As in, it needs to be checked out MEDICALLY and right away.
Do they still have RAs in dorms? Insist on setting up a meeting with you, the roommate and the RA. Point out that you are trying to come to an amicable agreement and you need the roommate’s cooperation. Say that you are willing to agree to being extremely quiet for an 8 hour stretch but no longer, and offer to let him pick what that eight hour stretch is. Even if you aren’t, say you are to start with. The point is to come across as super reasonable. 8 hours is normal and reasonable. If your roommate starts insisting he needs absolute silence for 14 hours at a stretch your RA should see what’s going on.
One possibility might be that there is another bed open somewhere in the dorm, and that whichever of you is more compatible with the roommate there could be moved to it. This happened during my college career – a nursing student who had to be up and at the hospital for a 7 am. start for some practical courses got moved away her party animal roommate who never crawled out of bed before noon.
Both of them were much happier.
In a shared space, needs trump wants. Sleep is a need. Gaming is a want. Expecting to sleep in your own bedroom doesn’t count as being ‘excessively pampered’ or thinking that the world revolves around you.
That said, he’s sleeping for a crazy proportion of the day, plus basic roommate etiquette is that you try to make your roommate’s life easier. You’re doing that. He’s not. He should really try the earplugs.
Could you guys get a white noise machine, or put white noise on an ipod speaker? That might mask the gaming noises enough that he could sleep.
The most important life lesion I learned living in a college dorm is that I will never again share a bedroom with anyone I’m having sex with. Another life lesson that straight men get really uncomfortable walking in on their roommate having sex with another man; especially when they didn’t realize their roommate was gay.
This would make total sense if it were directed at the OP.
OP, you need to grow the fuck up. You are there to learn. Gaming should not take such a priority in your life. Put down the game controller and pick up a text book.
Also, consider joining a group for gaming addiction. Playing all through the night until 7 or 8 in the morning is nowhere near normal.
Are you able to loft your bed? Put your desk under it and build yourself a fort with some kind of soundproof and lightproof walls. Don’t forget some vents 
Your roomie doesn’t have to give permission for this, you can just do it. Sounds like the RAs would be on your side.
I was sympathetic to this kid until you revealed he sleeps 14 hours a night. Fuck that.
No, it makes total sense when one party is trying to make accommodations, compromise and has the blessing of the people in charge of disputes and the other party just crosses his arms and demands that everyone cater to him.
Staying awake until dawn is a thing that college kids do. How is staying up gaming with his friends different than staying up until dawn playing cards games or drinking? Saying his viewpoint doesn’t count just because – grasp the pearls – video games is ridiculous. He’s doing stuff with friends even if it doesn’t meet your approved list of things to do with friends.
I’m inclined to agree that your roommate is being more demanding than he can reasonably be in a shared space; anyone whose sleep needs are THAT stringent should get a single. However, it’s the middle of April! Unless your college is on a very weird schedule – or unless you’ve already committed to rooming together next year as well – you’ll be out of each other’s way for good in another month. That being the case, if I were in your place, I’d grit my teeth and sacrifice my hobby for a few more weeks, and / or find a friend who would let me use their computer.
No, staying up all night is a thing kids do (usually, privileged, self entitled kids) who aren’t taking college seriously. Doesn’t matter if it’s gaming, playing cards, or stamp collecting. If you are doing it all night, every night, you have a problem.
Despite all the National Lamppon movies you may have seen. There are some kids who take their education seriously. And they shouldn’t have to put up with that nonsense.
I hated having roommates in school. Sleep schedule was just one reason. I would have killed for a single, or paid any price, but at my school it simply was not an option the first two years.
Maybe OP should do that instead of “gaming.” At least then you could argue that he’s doing something related to the “college experience.”
I never lived in a dorm, but I went to college and had classes that started at 8am and loads of work. Sleep is essential. In this case, the roommate wanting to sleep has more ties to the college culture.
Who said he’s not taking college seriously? He mentions that he plays late on the weekends so it won’t affect his school work.
You mean, despite having gone to college? There’s nothing at all weird about his schedule. Most kids in college stay up late on the weekends doing anything from binge drinking to playing Dungeons & Dragons (or maybe combining the two; I don’t judge). Of course, there’s always been the few who unreasonably expected the campus to shut down at 10pm as well. Back in the day, people just rolled their eyes and called them dorks. I guess these days they’re given safe spaces and cry about chalk on the sidewalk because the world isn’t working just the way mommy promised and compromise is out of the question.
This is on the weekends. Unless the roommate has a class at 8am Saturday morning, this isn’t about that.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned a white noise machine like this. Or a fan turned on low. Surely that will knock out a lot of the keyboard tapping and mouse clicking.
Just my opinion, but if someone was on the computer (or television, or partying) and keeping me up, I’d get really nasty, really quickly. Do not mess with my sleep.
OP is being rude. You live in the real world with other people. You cannot ask him to wear earplugs when sleeping in the middle of the night so you can play your games. If he was working third shift and his sleep patterns were off, sure. But you’re the one keeping odd hours – not him.
I like practicing keyboard. Should I do this at 3am and ask my roommates to deal with it? No.
I’m pretty sure you’re exaggerating how much he sleeps, but even if you’re not, pick reasonable quiet hours and stick to them. From 11pm-7am, say, when you don’t make a bunch of racket. I don’t care what the exact hours are, but knock off all the noise in the middle of the night. Let the man sleep.
He shouldn’t do that stuff in his shared bedroom either, if his roommate’s trying to sleep there. Staying awake till dawn with friends is great, but college kids with basic consideration do it in the common room, or in a room where everyone’s on for it.
Again, though, the OP is apparently really trying to accommodate his roommate, and the roommate needs to at least try to earplugs.
Psst… post 28 