My 90-year-old Grandfather has been living with my parents for about 8 years now, since soon after my grandmother died. His vision has always been bad (glaucoma, cataracts, detatched retina, etc.) and he was recently told by his doctor that his pressure was up again from the glaucoma, and that if he didn’t have an operation, he’d be totally blind in a matter of weeks. If he did have the operation, there was a 70% chance he’d keep his remaining vision, and maybe improve.
Well, he was in the unlucky 30%, and now he can’t see at all. He’s always been untrusting of doctors, and also untrusting of his son-in-law, my dad. So now he blames the doctor for operating just to make a buck, and blames my parents for pressuring him into surgery. (Personally, I think the operation was the right way to go, but now there’s no way of knowing, and he’s too stubborn to ever admit that it was.)
Anyway, grandpa’s always been a difficult fellow. Complaining and criticizing are his two favorite pastimes. And now, it’s even harder. My parents (and sister, who’s home from college for the summer) are finding it hard to deal with him. He often refuses help, wanting to prove that he’s still independent. And he’s too set in his ways to really learn how to be self-sufficient as a blind person.
And since both my parents work, once my sister returns to school, he’s often going to be alone during the day. This is not good, since even before he was totally blind, they’d often return home to find food or drinks on the floor, etc.
Also, sometimes they all need to go away for the weekend (say to move my sister back to school, or something) and I won’t always be around to drive up and stay with him.
Unsupervised, he could easily slip and fall, or burn himself on the stove, or something. He doesn’t need any real medical services, so it doesn’t make sense for a nurse to stay with him. Is there any other option? Are there people that just come and “grandpa-sit” the blind? Can they be trusted not to steal or worse?
He’s still rather spry otherwise, so a nursing home is proably premature. Also, he knows his way around our house. New environments are hard for him now that he can’t see, so it’s best he continues to stay with them.
Anyone have a similar situation or have any advice? I can tell, it’s really beginning to wear on my family.