Don’t be so quick to put people in the “let’s just be friend’s” box. Seriously, if the only thing holding you back is some impossible tangible that you can’t put your finger on; ya’ know what? You might as well go for it.
And that whole mentality of: “Well, I don’t want to screw up our super great friendship.” is just retarded.
Also, those Hollywood romances you see at the movies aren’t real! So, if that’s what you’re looking for; you’re going to be looking for a very long time.
I personally haven’t found this to be the case. “Singles groups” seem to end up being predominately male, and when an attractive woman does show up she is so swarmed by overly aggressive jerks in a manner typical of [post=13322633]this description[/post].
Stranger
Some are better organized than others; I’d suggest being picky about Meetup groups to be sure. And don’t just to to “singles” groups.
Never 100% give up.
The last person I actually seriously went out with was about 20 years ago. Since then there have been some one night/two night things and one two month thing that was mostly about sex.
I had all but given up and had consigned myself to the relationship dustbin. Then just before xmas I found out that a friend of my sister whom I’ve known for about 10 years and always liked but was in a serious relationship had become single a few months back. I decided to fuck all my self consciousness and lack of confidence and just go for it, something that I’ve not done for years.
Meeting her tonight for our 2nd date and are both really enjoying it so far (lots of sms’s, mails, etc). Still early days but there’s something nice in my life for the first time in so long. Something to look forward to. A month and a half ago I’d have said there was no chance for me. Now there is a crack of light. Even if this doesn’t work out it’s made me re-think things and has given me a very big confidence boost.
I’m 40 BTW
There’s one already - it’s called “everywhere”.
[ul][li]Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes.[/li][li]Join a group that you are interested in. [/li][li]Smile at everybody.[/li][li]If someone is even remotely interesting, ask them out. If you ask a hundred people, you are almost guaranteed at least one date. But you have to ask.[/li][li]Nothing bad happens if you ask someone out and they say No.[/ul][/li]
Play the percentages. We live in a statistical universe.
Regards,
Shodan
Don’t be so picky. There is no such thing as a “perfect soul mate”. As Chris Rock says, you aren’t going to find someone who likes Seinfeld AND the Wu-Tang Clan. (Other than me I guess).
Right, but if they Yes, then something bad could happen. Just look at all the threads people post here about evil exes and controlling boyfriends and such. It’s scary to step a toe into that swamp!
But I was brave and went to my first meetup group this week, thanks to the good advice here. It is a group for studying advanced Japanese grammar. It doesn’t sound inherently romantic, does it? Anyway, I was a little bit proud of myself. And I like Japanese grammar.
Good for you, xoferew. Enjoy your grammar, and then who knows?
And yes, there are evil exes and bad relationships. There are also wonderful relationships. I think the key to having a good one is recognizing what you need and want and then honestly assessing if the person you are dating can meet those needs and wants.
Enter a monastery or convent. Whenever you start to feel lonely, immerse yourself in prayer and meditation. Eventually, you’ll be dead and you won’t have to worry about it anymore.
If you ask out a hundred people, don’t you think word will get around, and people will think something weird is going on with you? “What is wrong with that guy? He’s asking everybody out!”
Ask out only a few at a time among groups of people who know each other. Yes, it takes longer, but it works better.
If you’re sociable and get out a lot, a hundred people isn’t really that many people.
Shodan isn’t suggesting asking them all out in one night.
Even evil exes were a strong learning experience at the time. I wouldn’t want to forget a single one of the relationships I’ve had over the years, because even the bad ones taught me a lot about myself and about humanity.
Question: how come none of my dates ever seem interested in buying my Amway products?
And they probably aren’t interested in second dates either. 
If you want love, be loving.
If you want someone to be interested in you, be interested - not in others, just generally.
Bathe regularly.
Probably because they just wanted to screw you sensless.
I’m supposed to bathe AND brush my teeth?! I guess I need to buy some Amway products.
Are you sitting down? You’ll need to wear deodorant, trim your finger and toe nails regularly, change your underwear regularly, and shave/trim facial hair regularly, TOO! :eek:
Are you suggesting that an otherwise charming woman with a ZZ Top beard can’t hope to find an accepting, understanding life partner? Then fine, I just give up. Strokes beard petulantly.