This is true, if one wants to win the Cat Lady Prize, or is already hot, then take DV’s little thing to heart; but, if a person wants to get into the dating market, this is totally wrong.
The dating market will require something more than a faulty aphorism and a bad attitude. The dating market, the one with acceptable quality men, does require you to be pretty. You owe it to the Dating Market Admissions Director.
Yikes - how do they even say that - *“Notice how their lives are easier? Because they’re prettier?” * :dubious::dubious:
A cougar friend of my mom was telling us of her training; she was told by her sister that ‘since I wasn’t pretty, I’d have to work on my body and personality’. It struck me as brutal, but, to be honest, I saw a pic of her in her 20s, and, her sis was right. She didn’t say ugly, but, since it was mentioned in passing, perhaps that took some of the sting out.
It does seem that (some, not all) women do seem to take a certain glee in taking women they don’t consider to be as attractive down a peg or two. And conversely a sort of anger when the order of things is upset and an “ugly” woman gets more attention than she should.
“Since you’re not that pretty, make sure to always be sweet and smile. Be nice to people so they will be nice to you.”
I was just thinking about this thread this weekend, and the corresponding thread about prettiness. Say I go to an expensive club that’s almost full. Who’s going to get in, me or the beautiful young hottie? Backstage to see the band? Be given a little more leeway from the professor? Nothing inappropriate, not necessarily, just preference. And all of this is because a lot of those positions - bouncer, professor, security guard - are filled by men.
Of course everything comes with trade-offs, and everyone has to prioritize.
But the level of ownership that some men feel over women’s looks is remarkable.
Every now and then we have a thread where a guy says “Why on earth do women cut their hair short? Don’t they realize it’s unattractive?” In these threads, there is always someone who just refuses to acknowledge the various reasonings people give, and just keep repeating “But men don’t like it!”, and the tone is as if they are personally offended that someone would choose something other than “be as attractive as possible at all times.”
Oh, and the “Why do women do X? Don’t they realize it’s not attractive to men?”
Whether ‘X’ is wearing high heels, wearing makeup, wearing pencil skirts, whatever.
This made me laugh. Who chooses men’s clothes? Almost invariably women.
In what world?
I think physical beauty helps even when you are dealing with other women. People do respond to beauty even when sexual attraction isn’t a component. This is nonsensical, but in the same way that I had to learn that not being pretty wasn’t a moral failure on my part, I also had to come to terms with the idea that taking pleasure in other people’s beauty wasn’t also a moral failure.
Beauty = status.
A very attractive women has something which puts her up there on the totem pole, and other people know it and respect it.
Or people respond to beauty. I don’t think it needs a pop psych explanation–I also get pleasure from beautiful language, art, music, nature. What I had to learn is that it’s okay to accept that appreciation–doing so doesn’t compromise my belief that being more beautiful doesn’t make you a better person, nor being less beautiful a lesser person.
I agree that it doesn’t need a “pop-psych” explanation, but I don’t think what I wrote is “pop-psych”. But even if it is, no matter. What I wrote is true, regardless of whether it’s needed or whether it’s “pop-psych”. 
ISTM that the discussion was about attractive women being treated better by others, not so much about people taking pleasure in viewing them, and my comments were about the first of these issues.
Mother: “Daughter, it is about time you learned how to cook. Men love women who can throw down in the kitchen.”
Daughter: “Oh, Mother. You are so old-fashioned. Sister can’t cook and she’s always got a boyfriend.”
Mother: “Your sister plays by a different set of rules, my dear. I am not saying it’s fair, but then again pretty looks will fade over time. A tasty pot roast never gets old.”