First of all, she’s not a Doper, and it’s not sexual in nature.
She’s someone I met playing backgammon online, and I enjoy playing with her and chatting with her. We’ve become pretty good friends, as far as this type of thing goes.
My main difficulty is that I’m not always glad to see her IM me. I get the feeling she is compelled to IM me whenever she sees me sign on, and sometimes I just don’t feel like talking to her or playing backgammon. I use the internet for other things, too, and sometimes I like to be free to do those things.
But I don’t like to make excuses, and I don’t want her to feel badly by telling her flat out I’m not interested in chatting or playing. In some ways, I think she’s kinda needy, and I’ve filled a void in her life. Not that I mind, but sometimes I feel like she’s an intrusion.
I’ve been thinking of emailing her and asking her to please understand that I don’t mind her saying hi, but if she’s IMing me everytime I show up on her buddy list, it’s sorta like knocking on your friend’s door every time you walk by his house. I’ve also considered making a certain night “backgammon night” with her. Sort of a standing date.
Any other advice?