Advice to the kid who got kicked out of college today...

In My Humble Opinion
1

Having previosuly started a thread asking for advice regarding my anxiety, I would like to start another thread asking for advice and/or opinions regarding my situation.

For those of you who missed my thread, let me give you background. Let me start off by syaing I have been kicked out of Lynn University.

As I had already once told some of you in my previous thread I have been suffering from severe anxiety for the better part of six months. On January 08, a psychiatrist in the Dominican Republic diagnosed me with generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I was given medication to treat this issue. More specifically I was give Alprazolam, wich is the same active ingredient found in Xanex. This medication offers short bursts of relief for anxiety and was to be taken in combination with therapy in order to achieve success. The medication, as it turns out, has not helped me out and has in turn made me completley dependant on it in order to feel at all better during the day. My symptoms, for no apparent reason at times elevate and I require even more of the same medication in order to feel better. As with virtually every prescription drug, side-effects are present. For me, depression and an even higher level of anxiety follow the use of this medication as soon as its effects wear off.

On Saturday my anxiety was so bad that I needed two alprazolam tablets, when most times half of one does the job for me. At night, still feeling quite anxious and very depressed, I decided to take part in a very stupid experiment. I made the decision to smoke a little but of Marijuana insetad of taking a third alprazolam tablet in order to not further abuse my prescription medication. To make a long story short, I got caught. Although I the school “understands” and “sympathises” with my situation and what led to my drug use, it was not enough to manage to finish off this semseter.

My parents, although angry and disapointed at me, have supported me to the fullest extent. I do consider my School’s reaction exagerated, but I understand I broke school policy and the law. I will not be able to go back to the same school until january 09. However, I do not wish to go back.

I have a few option at hand. I can go back home to Santo Domingo (which is my least favorite option) to get some treatment and perhaps work for a few months to then go back to college. I can stay in Florida to get treatment for anxiety here and maybe get a part-time job or go to summer classes and then go to community college. My third option is to go to Madrid, Spain and take some Spanish lessons to perfect my usage of the language as well as to perfect my writing. I could consider going to college in Spain for a while…

However this is all up in the air, from all your personal expiriences what can you guys (and gals) suggest I do?

Any advice/ opinion would be greatly appreciated.

2

Damn man, that really sucks. I’ve had to take some semesters off from school for anxiety/depression so I can empathize to some degree.

A few comments. Why do you want to go back to that school? You don’t like being there? I don’t think you addressed that in your post.

As for your three options, I’d say it depends. It sounds like your family is very loving and supportive, so I think you could benefit from an environment like that, low in stress and anxiety-inducing symptoms. The second option sounds like the worst of both worlds to me… a sense of permanent flux and low hope for the future. The third option presents the highest risk, but also sounds like something you really want to do. Highest risk and highest reward.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t feel hopeless. Tons of people have difficulty in college and come out no worse for wear. The Dope’s here for you anytime :). I mean the message board! Argh! :smack:

3

My experience, as someone who has both studied and worked abroad, is that at least initially, moving to another country is the sort of thing that could exacerbate your anxiety. So I would recommend against option 3.

4

I should also add that I have both my brother and my sister living in Madrid.

As far as to why I don’t like the school well, to put it bluntly: too many drugs, and waaay to many messed up kids.

I had less than an 8th of weed, I turned it in without hesitation and still got my butt handed to me.

I know of a friend who was caught with a seed a stem (of marijuana), alcohol and a fake I.D and he only got kicked off campus. Unfair to say the least. I mentioned this to the people evaluating me and they brushed it off.

Please keep the comments and advice coming!

5

Oh, that makes a big difference. Still, have you spent significant time (by which I mean months or years) in Madrid, or in Spain? Having to settle into an unfamiliar culture (and I don’t know how unfamiliar Spanish culture is to you) won’t help your anxiety.

6

I used to have very serious anxiety problems myself, and I withdrew twice from school at my most overwhelmed point. I eventually returned and finished my degree, but I graduated two years later than originally anticipated.

My first advice to you is this: Don’t panic. Just because you aren’t able to go to school now doesn’t mean you won’t be able to return later, maybe when you’re healthier. I don’t know if attending class/doing work is a part of your anxiety issues or not (I missed roughly a month of class every semester, which of course presented its own challenges.) The most important thing for me, when I took close to two years off, was creating structure around myself and essentially learning how to function again. At the point I left school, I was a quivering, miserable blob hiding under my covers, barely able to bathe myself much less write a term paper. My last semester I had gotten my first C… downward spiral was beginning and I wanted to save my GPA. One day I realized it was really nobody’s business but my own whether I felt I was able to deal with school or not, and I left. Some people were worried I wouldn’t go back – but I knew that I would. It just wasn’t the time.

I got a part-time job and I just focused on learning to live again. My only goal was to show up to work instead of calling in sick, get into regular habits of self-care, like eating three squares a day, and do massive amounts of therapy. And boy did I ever! Therapy was practically a full-time job at some point. I had had over four years of talk therapy and it just seemed like I was hitting a brick wall. That’s when I discovered CBT, which has been shown to be extremely effective for anxiety disorders. CBT and the mindframe that came with it completely changed my life. I did something called exposure therapy in which I deliberately brought myself to a panic on a daily basis for one hour a day, then learned to deal with the panicked feelings coming up. It was very hard work, sometimes felt like torture. But I kept going to class and doing my work anyways.

When I returned to school, I was getting off my medications completely. The first semester was incredibly emotionally difficult but I lost 60 pounds, did an internship/volunteer program teaching English in SW Detroit, and basically proved to myself that I had it in me all along. The semester afterwards, I co-authored a social psychology research project and aced all my classes, then carried that graduating momentum into a volunteer abroad project in rural Mexico.

My point is that you have to first give yourself the space to say, ‘‘Okay, maybe this isn’t what I need right now.’’ Then you have to take baby steps forward. Maybe you are functioning on a pretty high level right now and you don’t need the transition, but from what you’ve described it sounds like things are pretty rough for you. I am really impressed you are considering school abroad in Spain (I’ve only been there briefly, but it’s a fascinating country), because traveling abroad was the hardest thing I ever did personally. I had wanted to do it so badly but my anxiety always got the better of me – the day I flew into Mexico, I was 24 years old and was fulfilling a dream I’d had for years. I wept with joy the whole flight there. I had learned not to let my anxiety make decisions for me.

This is essentially what you have to learn to do, if you want to beat it. You have to get used to those anxious feelings, to the point that they are familiar, old hat, maybe even boring. You have to be able to identify what anxiety is, what is feels like, and the ways it tricks you into believing you are unsafe when really you are not. You have to become a scientist of the self, learn to gather evidence outside of your feelings in the moment. I really, strongly, passionately suggest you look into CBT. It is extremely effective with anxiety and that is both supported by research and my own personal experience.

It sounds like you and I both share a passion for the Spanish language. If you really believe you would have the support and infrastructure you need, I think going to Spain would be a fantastic idea. The biggest part of healing for me was when I began to think more about the events in my life in that moment, and less about my anxiety or my past. If you have a real challenge to keep you focused in the present, such as foreign-language study, you may find you rise up to meet it and learn that your anxiety does not dictate what you can do.

I wish you all the best with everything… and welcome to the boards!

7

A person with the signs and symptoms you describe really shouldn’t be on any primary mood-altering drugs at all, and that includes the alprazolam, pot and alcohol.

There are effective drugs for anxiety that do not primarily alter the mood or foster dependence. A decent anxiety treatment regimen often consists of one or more of these types of medications along with a big cognitive therapy component (even more important than the medications, IMHO).

In our modern society, many people who self-medicate their conditions with illicit drugs or prescriptions not issued to them end up in prison. And prison is not a good place to get help for anxiety disorders.

The psychiatrists I send my patients to work pretty much exclusively with counselling and the ‘safer’ anxiety medications (not benzodiazepines!)

8

Spend some time in a Tech school. Get the certificate, & you can always have something good to fall back on, after you get the degree.

9

I echo the advice not to try a new country when you are struggling with anxiety. Also, consider availability/affordability of quality therapy and medications you may need when deciding between the other two options.

10

Ok, first things first… you got “caught”? By who, the dean? Did you have to take a drug test? What did you do, smoke it in the hallway at school? Were you at a residence and they “caught” you smoking pot? Maybe you were in a police foundations program or something?

The whole thing seems extremely silly to me. Oh noes! Not marijuana! Better kick that one-time user of that horrible horrible drug out of school!!! He’s a horrible person!

Seriously though man, you’ve been screwed over pretty bad. Pot is a fairly harmless “drug”. I say screw em… do something else. Go back to school, but pick something where they don’t care what you do when you’re at home on your own time.

11

Go home where you have parents. Get yourself healthy, then move on with your life.

If the anxiety is as bad as you say, you need to be somewhere you can depend on help. If you are compounding that by self medicating with drugs and alcohol, you could spiral completely out of control very quickly. Be somewhere your family can help. I can’t imagine it is easy for your parents to help you in the U.S. from the D.R.

12

I got caught by an R.A that did not have security with her at the time, she did not help me in any way, she just went out and called security. I was in my room and smoked a very small amount, my intention was to go to sleep, no harm done…

BTW, if I go to Spain I WILL recieve therapy from a great phyciatrist. My parents will visit often and my brother and sister can take care of me.

It’s just that its a bit confusing to get kicked out of college just 3 weeks before it ended.

Just lost, that’s all…

13

My wife had an emotional breakdown when she was an undergrad and had to withdraw from college. She took some time to get herself together, eventually went back and finished her degree, then went to graduate school, and now she’s a professor at UCLA.

You’ve hit a rough patch. Things will get better. Don’t rush into anything. Work on getting yourself healthy, then reassess your options.

14

Make 100% sure your brother and sister are in this for the long haul. Anxiety may be a long haul.

My sister and I are not in it for the long haul with my little sister. She seems to believe we will be, but since she continues to fuck up and not take responsibility for herself, we’ve given up.

15

Apply to a school that’s not run by puritannical bastids. If the school has policies like that in place that are actually enforced by the RAs, then the fact that you say there are a lot of drugs and messed up kids actually makes sense. It’s like how teens binge their asses off at parties because alcohol isn’t widely available.

I went to school with a huge drug culture, and never really met anyone who I’d characterize as a “messed up kid,” at least not because of drugs. Sounds like the place wasn’t good for you for other reasons. If pot’s going to help you cope with your medical issues (and of course, be careful about how you self-medicate), I’d suggest finding a school that’s less absurd in their drug enforcement.

ETA: Oh, and that really sucks, and I’m really sorry. Just think of it as a positive jumping off point for now, with the hope that it’s going to get better.

16

At this point school is secondary. Take the path that gets your head in a good place because everything in your life revolves around good health. I second being around your family for support. If you take the Florida/work/Community College option then take some classes that are fun like photography. Don’t underestimate good nutrition in your quest.

17

This bears repeating. Those of us with mood disorder need to eat regular, nutritious meals. It’s hard enough battling an ‘ism’ when you’re feeling well, much less when you’ve got a weak, unhealthy body. Even skipping a meal can make enough of a difference for me to feel it.

QtM is spot-on re: mood altering chemicals. This is one of those things which seems like a good idea until you’re writhing and weeping in the ashes. :wink: Bottom line: inducing an altered mind-state simply muddies the water.

If you feel that your brother and sister would make a good support team, I don’t see why going to Spain would be a bad idea. I think that whatever you do, you need to be all about stability and support. Whichever option gives you the greatest allotment of those, is the best one.

Good luck!

18

This is exactly what I wanted to say. I work in study abroad, and even the most together students face significant culture shock and an adjustment period. I would really, really not encourage someone struggling with anxiety issues to try studying abroad in an unfamiliar coountry, even if they have family in the country.

Have you talked to your brother and sister about this? I’m sure they love you and will look out for you, but if they have jobs and families of their own, it will be difficult for them to provide all of the support that you need. Taking on responsibility for an adult family member is no cakewalk.

19

You are lucky to have supportive parents. Go home and relax. Set a schedule for yourself though. Assume that you’ll need a least a month of de-tox and “vacation”. Your time is your own, but don’t be a mooch and ask for expensive diversions. Once vacation is over and your feeling more even, look for an easy, low stress job to help you earn a little income. Register for a few classes at community college and EASE back into it when the next semester starts. The most important thing is to get well. Get some counseling, it helps. Lose the drugs. Seriously. I mean it. They won’t help, and medicating yourself doesn’t seem to be working.

20

[sidetrack]

Colleges employ “general education requirements” so that students obtain a well-rounded liberal arts education. While it is illegal, smoking weed is commonplace among college students, and often spawns intellectual curiosity (unfortunately sometimes that curiosity is over the seemingly hysterical spelling of the word “cookie”). Getting kicked out of colleg for smoking weed… there’s gotta be a little irony here?

[/sidetrack]