If you had a friend that you know is suffering, and you know of how to get them some help…but you’re not suppose to know…is it best to just let that friend go on suffering? It is affecting this friend’s home life, etc., and I wish I could help. It’s just my nature, but, then again…I know no good deed goes unpunished.
There’s always a risk the friend may not be so appreciative. So, do I just sit back and watch? What a tough choice! What would you do? Either way, it’ll (most likely) be killing me. - Jinx
It largely depends on what the friend is suffering from. And if, in fact, the friend is suffering, or if it’s a situation where “you” would be suffering if you were in his or her shoes (maybe the friend is actually digging the situation you would suffer from). You’ll have to give up a bit more information before we can butt in.
It also depends on how you know about your friend’s problem, if you’re not supposed to know.
Really, you’ll have to give more details before I can say anything remotely helpful. I can think of situations covered by your OP for which I’d give completely opposite advice.
I mainly agree with what Kalhoun and Bad News Baboon said; we need more data.
However, it might be the case that you’re are not able or not willing to divulge more, f.i. out of loyalty to the friend or for whatever reason. If I have to go on this information only I’d say don’t get help without their permission.
Most help needs to be wanted to do any good. You can’t make someone speak to a doctor/stop drinking/give up the the SO that is so patently no good for them or whatever their problem is unless they want to. Then you can be there for them.
Maybe it would be better if you talked to the friend and asked if they are alright. You don’t even have to go as far as admit you actually know what’s going on but just keep the line open for them to confide in you.
Q: How many Jinxes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: First, the light bulb has to want to change…
Thanks, PookahMacPhellimey. That’s very true. I wish I could give more information, but I prefer not to say any more. When the time is right, I may be able to offer some help. I should just be patient until such a time when the friend may be more open to advice.
