Again, I register my dissatisfaction, you yak-humping toadspawn!

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve been reading a number of threads here in the Pit lately, and once again I must state for the record that the use of polite language and the overall air of civility has ascended to an unacceptable level.

Take, for example, this well-constructed OP by our obviously well-meaning friend, CuriousCanuck. In that thread, Mr. or Ms. Canuck very carefully points out an apparent logical fallacy in the American policy stance toward Iraq, and requests an explanation.

Shame on you, CuriousCanuck! Not once, not even once do you refer to Americans as “barbarous pre-sentient war-apes” or “breast-hugging poopy-panted gun wavers.” Nowhere do you besmirch the honor of the United States, or remind us all that your nation repelled three separate American attempts to invade during the War of 1812.

Where is the pain? Where is the insult? Where is the hatred and intolerance, the mocking and the smut?

Nowhere, sir. For shame.

And in this thread, Enderw24 entertainingly describes his or her angst about being a Nielsen family of one.

But Enderw24, you failed to call Nielsen, Arbitron, and Scarborough anything remotely like “money grubbing chewers of foreskin.” You failed to say, “drink this gallon of herbal tea, put this traffic cone up your ass, and fart me the Washington Post March, you scurrulous snot-lickers.”

Where is the lack of love? John Corrado is probably working on a dissertation right now because you’re fattening his bandwidth with good behavior and comity. He deserves less than that.

Now people, I have to ask you to please, please be less thoughtful and considerate in your postings here in the Pit. We have an already low standard to sink beneath, and some of you aren’t helping at all.

2

FUCK OFF!!!

[sub]Better?[/sub]

3

With one tiny suggested change (“drink a gallon”) I declare this to be positively lyrical.

That’s what we need - elegantly crude spewings.

4

I have no doubt as to your sincerity, Sofa (if I can take the liberty of addressing you familiar), but perhaps I may make so bold as to make a suggestion? I do not wish to imply any criticism of your probity, but the tone of your remarks could be misinterpreted as indicating some, shall we say, dissatisfaction with the temper and tone of other posters remarks.

Now, of course, I don’t mean to cast any aspersions (perish the thought!), but certain persons of a delicate sensibility, persons like myself, Scylla. the much lamented Collounsbury and others (including the entire Minnesota contingent) could well be stung by your remarks, however well-meaning their intent.

Persons like us, of a fragile and neurasthenic temperment, needs be rather cautious of our environment, both physical and intellectual. If, in the future, you could restrain such bombasticism to, say, the calm comportment and genteel discourse such as one might find in a Jane Austen novel, you would do much to maintain our comfort.

Of course, we thank you in advance for your kindly consideration.

5

I wub 'ou!

6

I blame Scotticher.
let’s GET 'ER

7

That bitch. Always hated her.

Esprix

8

So Faking what???

:smiley:

9

If I’m sensing the feelings of Sofa King, the OP is as call to Shakespearean insulting of one another, perhaps leading to exposure of invective one had not previously experienced. Perhaps referring to another as a villainous, swag-bellied, malt-worm would be appropriate.

10

I think what this board needs is a little self love.

The kind proscribed so many times on the temp board:D

11

But soft! that wouldst thy mother’s bodkin tarry, and from her womb untimely ripped, that Sir Loin of Pork about thy neck should dangle, lest slip the dogs of war to play with thee! A shit, a shit, I do confess it, for loathing now 'tis blade of steel 'twixt gut and bladder interposed! A pox on both thee hosers!

12

And then, of course, we have examples of how not to do it.

13

Please don’t be offended, elucidator. While you obviously have too much charm and tact to be truly offensive, you still get an E for… um, affort.

And a big thanks to all of you who told me to fuck off. That’s the spirit!

14

Perhaps the board software could be modified so that all periods are automatically replaced with “, asshole.” If that doesn’t do the trick, we could do a similar replacement of commas with “, fuckhead,”

Thus, fuckhead, your complaint would be solved automatically, asshole. The only problem, fuckhead, albeit a minor one, fuckhead, would be when someone already ends their sentence with an insult, fuckhead, buttmunch, asshole. So, fuckhead, you’d have to write the software carefully, asshole.

15

Ah yes, Giraffe! You’re talking about something like the Burnmaker, a little toy we’ve had much fun with in the past.

Let’s just see what I really meant to say in the OP:

Yessss. That’s much better.

16

Fuck you! Don’t tell me what I’m talking about, asshole!

17

Mmmm. That’s pretty good, I guess. Let’s see what the Burnmaker does with it:

I think you have room for improvement, Giraffe

18

Sofa King, I took your Burn of Giraffe’s quote, and re-burned it:

I re-Burned it again, and got:

So I re-Burned it one more time, and the Burnmaker returned with:

Which I think is just going too far.

19

Brevity is the source of wit, asshole. You and your Burnmaker can suck the scabs off a syphilitic goat.

Cocksucker.

20

How is it that we STILL don’t have a barfing smilie…