Again with the annoying commercials!

Oh. My. GOD.

I was a captive audience while people were watching ‘BattleBots’ on a network where it was 5 minutes of show / 5 minutes of commercials continuously. Every commercial break had a Dairy Queen ad and it always ended with an inane and extremely irritating 5 bar chorus whistled jingle.

Other than my patience being stretched to a ragged edge, what really flat-out amazed me was how everybody else seemed to let the barrage of noisy, splashy ads roll right off them. It was no big deal to them. I didn’t get that.

( The actual robots battling each other was cool though, but like football it was tedious to tolerate 90 percent bullshit per 10 percent of actual action )

Eeeek! This is worse that the boy bear dancing with his underwear.

It reminds me of pancakes (with a Scottish accent). ‘Och! I’ve got a bad case of the KRUSTEAZ!’

Two that have been annoying me, partially with their repitition.,

AT&T Lily and her “word of mouth - that’s what we did before commercials”. Just go away!

And State Farm milking the new Jake to death. Poor actor is going to be typecast forever. If they’re going to overdo the amount of ads, they should have more, so we get a variety. (Use Geico as the standard. How many different ads they got going at once?)

Aww, C’mon! That gentle little head-tilt? What’s not to love??

Two annoying ads that aren’t television commercials:

The smarmy shirtless guy asking rhetorical questions about exercise who pops up after about every other YouTube video I watch. Yes, I hit “Skip ad” ASAF’ingP. Still can’t stand his smug [del]ass[/del] pecs for those three seconds!

One of the frequent ads on my WordBrain game* is a “first signs of lung cancer” BS from something called “HowThingsWork” that implies perfectly harmless things (blowing your nose!) are such first signs. Even smarmier than shirtless YouTube guy: even if the website happens to list actual signs and not BS, the scary clickbait-y implications of this ad make me want to do anything BUT click on it and reward these guys!

*Not going to pay for the ad-free version, nope.

They got her turning sideways now so we can appreciate her amplitude.

Yeah, uh, that was, uh, a bit surprising.

Love Queen but I don’t need to hear “I Want It All” three times a day.

I feel sorry for that actress, apparently she has many of the worst kinds of internet stalkers.

Mind you AT&T is about as evil as they come so…

Two new ones, seen nduring football.

One is for truist. The commercial has little vignettes. One has a kid playing chess against his dad/grandfather/some old fart in the park, and the kid takes a pawn with his queen. The man reacts like the kid showed grand master thinking. There’s pretty much no situation where with that many pieces on the board that a queen takng a pawn means anything surprising or shocking. This must be the fallout of The Queen’s Gambit. At least that show understood chess.

The other is for Chevy. Among other things, the commercial shows a guy carrying a bale of hay to his truck, and how convenient it is that the taiilgate opens automatically. The rest of us just remember to open the tailgate before we pick up whatever it is we’re putting in the bed.

My mom pointed out something about that commercial where the guy gives his wife (?) a puppy and she gives him a truck. Won’t the truck be in her name?

Saturday Night Live did a send up of Lexus “December to remember” commercials, where a guy surprises his wife with a Lexus for Christmas. “You bought a Lexus? We can’t afford that, you’ve been out of work since March - 2019.”

Probably - but I don’t see why that’s a problem.

If she paid cash, it can be in anyone’s name.

My wife and I keep our cars in both our names.

I wish I were an animator. I’d make a Charmin commercial. (Apologies, as I don’t know how to center or indent on the new board.)

INT. BATHROOM, DAY: Shot from the midriff up of GOLDILOCKS sitting on a toilet. There are ‘poo sounds’, and GOLDILOCKS reaches for some toilet paper.

[center]GOLDILOCKS
This paper’s to rough![/center]

More poo sounds, and GOLDILOCKS reaches for different toilet paper.

[center]GOLDILOCKS
This paper falls apart![/center]

GOLDILOCKS reaches for the Charmin.

[center]GOLDILOCKS
This paper’s just right![/center]

EXT. BATHROOM, DAY. GOLDILOCKS exits the bathroom with her arms full of the BEAR’S supply of Charmin.

My wife actually did that to me.Our older minivan was long in the tooth and I came home to a recent model Kia minivan which she “surprised” me with. Unlike me, she just buys things without checking things out. A bit of searching online showed me the Kia was the heaviest minivan at the time, with the worst gas mileage, pretty much the opposite of what I would have done. Purchased at full book value using her-not-very-good credit rating with nothing down. The monthly payment (which quickly became my payment) was almost double what I could have gotten it for.

It took me several years of paying it down and an extremely fortunate set of circumstances before I was able to get rid of it without creating a huge fight.

It was a nice minivan, though.

I don’t like any of the commercials that show people doing stupid things in their car and getting away with it because of some safety feature rather then having common sense. This Volvo commercial for cross traffic alert is the latest one.

A couple learns they are having twins and a series of quick cuts shows their learning experience. At 4 seconds into the commercial we get a foreshadowing with a glimpse of their driveway showing the 8 foot tall hedges at the street right up to the drive. In one cut the mom rushes up the stairs to grab her diapered baby standing at the top with no gate. What? It took you 15 months to think of a gate?

Then they load up the car and back out only to be saved by the auto braking. They stare at each other with astonishment and horror. Dude - cut the fucking hedges! One Volvo Facebook page refers to them as “superheroes”.

There’s a new one, forget which car, where the usual disclaimer are read: “closed course, professional driver, blah blah, Don’t drive through slush, don’t drive on ice (going by memory)”. Then the announcer says “we do all that so in case you do.” That’s kind of undercutting the legal disclaimer, innit? “gee judge the commercial told me the car was safe to drive on glare ice. What am I supposed to think?” “Ruling for the plaintiff!”

“Volvo. The safest car in the world. Unlike their idiot drivers.”