Allayalls would punch me in the mouth in real life. I have been known to say, “seened” as in “I’ve never even seened it!” You know. For emphasis. I also use “allayalls” too.
I like your mom. Does she carry white-out and sharpies to correct signs, too?
I say “too,” but Mrs Magill won’t allow me to do that anymore.
Farxiga apparently allows you to finally enjoy baseball..or maybe it cures your crippling love for baseball..or maybe it just causes mindless chanting of nonsense words. I’m not sure to be honest. All I know is that it’s “trusted” to do something involving..something.
Almost! 
She has a good friend who either has no regard for what she’s typing or can no longer see what she’s typing, so her emails are increasingly loaded with grammatical and spelling errors. Mom will sometimes call me at work to complain (and to get some help trying to guess at what her friend is trying to say).
This, and its variant “aaaaaaallllll y’all” are both acceptable to me. 
Royal Kingdom: is this game made by Ktarians or what?
Me too. Good thing I dont got me one of those contracts to act in the commercials.
I have terrible speech for lots reasons, one being I was raised around a bunch of hicks.
Y’all all can talk like you want. Won’t bug me!
“Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile”. I can’t escape this asshole and his pea green garage sale shirt. Is he supposed to be affable or something?
There is a newish ad for some sort of ecology destroying lawn herbicide- the guy spots a (wait for it!) a DANDELION!!! (shock, gasp!!! the horror!) and immediately grabs his tank of poison and sprays the holy hell out of that poor tiny flower.
Fuckers.
That ad was everywhere (haven’t seen it in a few weeks), and it’s not that it’s bad. It’s that it’s just so cheezy and cheap-looking. Like it was made in about fifteen minutes with about as much thought.
The reason to use it on privates has nothing to do with pissing or pooping oneself. The same type of scent sweat glands in armpits are in your crotch. You can be a fastidious wiper and not soak yourself and still develop crotch odor just like armpits.
And deodorant doesn’t just wipe off. It’s absorbed into the skin. It works by blocking those specific glands.
Antiperspirant works by blocking all your sweat glands. If it just washed off, it wouldn’t be very effective.
Is that what they’re going for? You know, a we offer this at a low price, by skimping on the ad budget for our commercials so we can pass the savings on to you kind of thing?
I’m getting tired of the ads where Tide solves every cleaning problem.
Kids don’t typically worry about aioli stains. But Tide feels they do. They don’t worry about slide tackling at soccer. But Mom is there with a fine tip: “Use Tide.”
Um, Mom? The last thing I was concerned about at age 12 was an aioli stain (what the hell is “aioli” anyway, and if I was 12, why would I care?). My Mom just threw everything in the washing machine, and let it go.
Tell us how Tide can produce clean clothes, and stop insulting our intelligence with kids who worry about “aioli” stains on their soccer uniform.
.
Basically, fancy mayo.
I’ll take First World Problems for $500 please, Alex.
The ad that’s bugging me the most right now is for Shoe Station. While the presenter does her spiel about the store, they show a couple of women trying on shoes when a third runs up to them with a pair of shoes which they all get way too excited about as she holds them up on either side her face.
That is the entire ad campaign in a nutshell, yes.
Hungry Root. First the face the woman makes when she explains how their meals are so awesome, smiking self satisfaction. Then they are all preparing and eating food. During this her really beautiful long hair is artistically draped down in front of her right shoulder. The lovely locks hang right in all the food she’s making, eating, and feeding to the small child on her hip. Yuk.
Have we talked about Gemini yet?
“Can we talk about this picture I just took?” Who the fuck talks to a phone like that outside of the movie, “Her”? And there’s no way a guy who loses an argument with a basketball hoop is smart enough to even download something on his phone let alone use it worth a shit. The only realistic part of it is the stoners sitting on their asses trying to get their phone to solve their problems.
I’m annoyed at an Anna Faris Walmart commercial that’s playing a lot lately. The setup is, she’s homebound with pinkeye. She’s so impressed with the speed of her Walmart pharmacy delivery that she starts ordering a bunch of Walmart crap delivered, and frolics around with it all.
Why do I find it annoying? First of all, I’m usually not too easily squicked out by stuff, but whatever makeup or CGI they used to make her eye look red and swollen is realistic enough to be pretty squick-tastic. I suppose they wanted to give her a ‘funny’ illness that required meds, yet wasn’t serious or life-threatening. But seeing her in sweats all red-eyed, maniacally ordering crap and playing with it in a way that was supposed to be humorous but was not, is just kind of depressing. I’ve liked her work as a comedic actress in the past and it all just seems kind of beneath her.
Damp rid ads.
Family walks in the door. Mom says “Damp!” Dad says “Damp!”
Kid says “Damp!”
Then they jump on the kid about language.
So dumb.
It would be funnier if Mom and Dad both said “damp” and then the kid said, “Day-um!”
We routinely get 40 pound boxes to save money. That tiny little box can’t be all that heavy and don’t shopping carts exist where you live?