Agapio Racing Team, proof that in dubbing cartoons, talent mattereth not

Dubbing is something that, I’d imagine, you don’t get much in America, mainly because your country is where most of the dubbable stuff comes out of, and most of the other stuff comes from countries speaking your language. Thankfully, Finland doesn’t have to deal with much dubbing either - our TV programs and movies have subtitles. However, there’s one segment of programs which have to be dubbed - kiddies’ cartoons. Reason is obvious - small children, at least Finnish children, don’t understand English, and subtitles would be a strain, especially to those who aren’t going to school yet. However, if you are going to dub cartoons, then at least do it properly. And this post links to many clips, both avi and mp3, proving that Agapio Racing Team’s dubbing reaches levels of atrocity. I mean, these aren’t very good cartoons to begin with, but with ART’s dubbing, they become something completely out of this world. I shudder to think if all programs shown on Finnish TV were dubbed, and these guys got to dub, say, Simpsons.

(Some clips, esp. the songs, are in Finnish. They are understandably difficult for a non-Finn to understand, but I believe that even in songs, foreigner can see the lack of rhyming, talent, feeling, everything but sheer unadulterated shit.)

Dubbing isn’t something treated as an art. Whatever those dickwrenches in Agapio Racing Team treat it as is unclear, but they clearly labor under pretension nobody’s going to hear their work, so they can fuck it up any way they please. Whatever cartoons they dub can be instantly recognized by lack of effort to replicate even the most basic human emotions. Everything is said with a stale tone. THIS INCLUDES SCREAMING. If someone’s falling from a waterfall and is screaming, screaming should go in lanes of “AAaaaaAAaaArrrGGhhhH!”. Simple “Aaaaaaaaa.”, which ART used in this clip (it’s Digimon, but it short enough not to kill you) is insufficient. Incidentally, “Aaaaaaa.” is the same sound that ART belives to represent crying. It, surprisingly, doesn’t represent laughing. This does.

Next up, we have singing. Now, songs in kiddie cartoons aren’t normally stuff record-breaking record sales are made of. With ART’s dubbing, they are elevated to status of cult hits. It’s very bad. It’s very very bad. It’s so bad that you’d rather pour honey on your rectum and sit in ant’s nest than listen to it repeatedly. Well, not really, but exaggeration and rectums are what signature quotes are made of. Let’s repeat that in sig-quotable form. Exaggeration and rectums are what signature quotes are made of. Now, these are indeed in Finnish, but they are so turgid it shines through. First we have some tune from My Little Pony. Note the way singer uses her voice in total non-coordination with the tune. And also note the way itdoesn’tmatterifyouputfewextrasyllablesintoaliiii-neee. Here’s a cult hit - opening tune of Flipper & Lopaka, cartoon blatantly abusing your favorite dolphin in ways not described in that dolphin sex page. In here, most of the fun is in lyrics. I’ll translate few choice bits.

“Sky darkened like night.”
“Waves, the size of the mountain, chew.”
“Water splashed full-mouthedly.”
“Darkest, the most devious of fish, aims of Dexter are evil.”

And if you think those sound silly because of literally translation, they are just as silly in Finnish. And the girl still can’t sing.

Well, in any case, Agapio Racing Team’s dubbing is an insult to dubbing, insult to cartooning, insult to children who have to watch these cartoons, insult to Finnish language, insult to singing, insult to emotional displays, and insult towards common human decency. Therefore, they all should have to suffer some testicular twist’n pop, with equivalent punishment for female members of the team. I rest my case.

We’ll end this with Agapio-bashing link. Don’t worry, the site’s in English.

Oh, we get the dubbed stuff here too. Watch Telemundo or any of the Spanish-language channels, and suddenly Tommie (the one-year-old) from “Rugrats” is speaking Spanish a mile-a-minute in a deep baritone voice. Creepy seeing a baby who sounds like he should be shaving; that diaper always looked way out-sized for him: now we know why.

(Not to mention all the cartoons on Telemundo are out-of-focus, like a 4th generation copy.)

thanks a fuckin’-lot!

i laughed so hard after the FIRST LINK that i shit my pants! my abs feel like i did 1999 sit-ups!

i’m afraid to check any more of your links!

boy, you really hit this problem on the head! (kinda obscure, though. maybe you should tackle a problem that impacts a “wider audience”?)

i cant get that half-hearted “aaaaahhhh, aaaaahhhh” out of my head! (i just wet myself!)

If it’s obscure, it’s because I live in obscure country. I mean, had it not been for Beavis & Butthead, I wouldn’t have slightest notion of what Telemundo might be.

That is strange. Alvin (as in “…and the Chipmunks”) sounds like a midget Frenchman!

“Agapio Racing Team.” Does that mean they’re in the wrong profession? They should be driving cars, not dubbing American TV shows! (If they drove off a cliff, would they scream “Aaaa…Aaaa…”?)

I thought the Chinese chop-socky films of the 60’s and 70’s were badly dubbed. But this racing team is so bad, they are EEEE-Vil!!! Indeed!!!

And note that non-Finns will only get a partial image of their evilness.

are these yahoos universally hated in finland? it occurs to me, after a shower and laundry, that the finns seem to be pretty subdude folks, and maybe this is “normal” reactions for them. of course, im only baseing this hypotothesis on watching post-race interviews with Mika Hakkennin and Tommy Makkinnen (man, the fins got funny names!).

come to think of it, i saw an in-car shot of Makkinnen rolling his rally car down a bank, and he didn’t seem too shook up about it…

shit! now, just thinking about those damn links has me laughing again!


Seriously I laughed so hard I cried

Good lord, monkies on acid could dub a better episode.

What they need to do is go up behind dickhead and smash him in the ass with a paddle

That ought to raise that scream a few octives to its appropriate level

They’re not very known, but everyone who knows them agrees they are idiots.

Especially when they’re mispronounced! It’s Mika Hakkinen and Tommi Makinen.

Sorry! Really, i can pronounce them, i just can’t spell them!

(cant wait to see what Kimi Rikkinnen can do in a good car next year…and sorry for butchering his name!)

Are you saying that the Agapio Racing Team really races when they’re not making chipmunks sound like midget Frenchmen?