I will agree that I see this fear as entirely rational. There is nothing the giant squid loves more than to wait until the middle of the night and then lead two subordinate squids into an unsuspecting person’s bedroom. Slowly, they squelch their way up the side of the bed; one of the subordinates takes up a position between the sleeping person’s feet, while the other settles on the chest. At a prearranged signal, the squid at the person’s feet wraps its tentacles around his or her ankles and then around the frame of the bed; at the same time the squid on the victim’s chest secures his or her wrists and forearms in the same manner. At this point, the victim immediately wakes up, and sees a squid sitting on his or her chest, and starts to scream. The scream is interrupted, however, when the leader squid, poised at the headboard, wraps a tentacle around the victim’s throat. The leader squid then eases down and squats over the victim’s face. Its tentacles slowly, slowly encircle the victim’s head, its hundreds of tiny-barbed suction cups biting into the flesh of his or her face, neck, ears, and scalp. The last thing the victim sees and feels before blacking out from lack of oxygen is the leader squid lowering itself and beginning to chew through his or her face with its bony beak.
Humboldt Squid scare me. I have no fear of sharks when diving, but a 6-foot squid? No thanks.
Like I needed another reason not to dive in Monterrey.
However, they are absolutely fascinating. I wouldn’t mind studying them if I had armor on, like one guy I saw on a TV show about the squid in the Sea of Cortez.
FTR, the Mercury News article on the subject indicated the reduction of Tuna, which are both predators and competitors of the squid, could be responsible for the expanding of the range.
Is it my imagination or is the tone at the New York Times always a little gleeful when there is something weird/bad/unfortunate going on in California?
If it helps, it’s running through my head to the “Spiderman” theme song. (Blame it on the* Simpsons* movie.)
Jumbo squid, jumbo squid,
Does whatever a jumbo squid can…
Also, thank you, Cervaise, I just finished getting over my nightmares of psychotic eyeless people (from that one Futurama episode with all the alternate universes) and I needed fresh material.
Don’t think of it that way. Just make up a huge batch of lightly seasoned batter, and keep it ready - then when then squid show up, you can use your nifty industrial quality paper shredder to turn them into calimari rings. Then just shovel 'em into the barrel of boiling oil you keep on the roof for the zombies, and you can have a great get-together for your whole neighborhood defense association.
Well, the jumbo squid’s tentacles are rather phallic: long, pinkish, swollen, fleshy, slimy, resting heavily across your face as you struggle in bed, the leader squid prying open your jaw, slipping a muscular tendril between your lips and down your throat…