Friends, I’m a simple man. I ask little from the world; a fair shot at some food, some sex, and a warm place to lie down when I’ve had too much to drink… that’s all I ask. I’ve no burning need for fame or riches (though I wouldn’t turn down the latter, should it fall my way). “Just some guy.” would be a fitting epitaph for me.
As I said, I’m a simple man. I ask little, and I give little.
For 37 years this has worked for me. ‘Low effort, low reward’ has been my mantra; and I’ve been OK.
Since my recent marriage to my Lady Love (that would be Astrogirl, for those of you keeping score at home), however, I have begun to wonder if perhaps I shouldn’t put a little more effort into my, er, efforts.
I worry that mayhap Astrogirl won’t, in the long run, be satisfied with Average Guy.[sup]TM[/sup] To be completely fair I must point out that we have been a couple for about 8 years, so I must conclude that she knew before we were wed that I was a low-effort kinda guy… but I still worry.
Of late, I have begun (in a low effort manner) to seek ways to make sure that Astrogirl doesn’t regret her decision to hitch her wagon to mine. Nothing too special, I assure you, just things like washing the dishes without being asked, etc. And keeping my eyes open for serendipitous occasions to bring a small smile to her face.
Which brings me to last Tuesday.
Astrogirl, you see, had never been to a rock concert. I had tickets to see Phish. Phish isn’t really her kind of music (she likes Korean Pop, which, if you haven’t heard it, sounds exactly like I imagine a dozen rap artists banging away at circus calliopes while huffing nitrous oxide would sound like…) but I knew that she would be into the whole group vibe of the affair, so off we went!
We got to the show, drank a few beers (I wasn’t driving! No worries there!), and began to boogie away. Astrogirl was having a great time, so I happily zoned out and did my pathetic little self-dance beside her while grooving to the music.
My mind wandered back a few years, to the last Phish show I had attended with my friends G and M… Boston. Must have been 1999 or 2000… great show! I really loved it! I remember that the only thing I wasn’t happy about at the Boston show was… drumroll please!.. that Astrogirl was not with me! You see, I had come to the US for a month-long visit, and Astrogirl had stayed in Korea at the time (this, of course, was when we lived in Korea…), unable to get off work… so I came to the US alone. I had a great time seeing Phish in Boston, but I missed Astrogirl the whole time, and really wished that she could have been with me!
As I boogied next to Astrogirl, remembering the Boston show, it struck me: I should pass this memory on to her! She’d appreciate it! (at least, I was pretty sure she would… I think I read in Cosmo or something that women want us men to share feelings (whatever those are). I’m not sure I’ve ever had a feeling… but I now had a memory, and perhaps that would suffice to make my woman happy for a bit.) [sup]You see, I have my eyes open for any serendipitous occasion to make her smile! I told you that, I think, somewhere above… I was gonna look for it and then quote it here as proof, but then I thought ‘Why bother?’, so I haven’t.[/sup]
So I shared, which, I believe is what women are supposed to want…
I looked over at Astrogirl, and she was happily dancing away with her eyes closed… I had to poke her in the side to get her attention.
“Hey!” I yelled (it was loud there, being a rock concert and all…), “Remember a couple of years ago, I came back to the US for a month and went to visit George and Missy (they are the G and M I mentioned earlier… I was gonna just use their initials again, but if any psycho-killers are reading this, I’m pretty sure he/she will have a hard time tracking them down with just their first names! Besides, they don’t live in Boston anymore… now they live in Texas, which is a pretty big place for psycho-killers to track down someone using just their first name!) in Boston?”
She nodded, looking puzzled.
“Well that was the last time I saw Phish, and I remember during the concert, even though I was having a really good time, I really missed you a LOT, and I remember wishing that you were with me!”
Having dropped this bomb on the now undoubtably delighted Astrogirl, I went back to boogie-ing away, secure in the knowledge that I am a MAN. I may be Average Guy,[sup]TM[/sup] but I am a MAN, and I knows how to make my woman happy!
Life was good for your pal Astroboy.
A moment later, however, Astrogirl poked me in the side and leaned in to yell in my ear:
"You left me and went to America for a month, and that’s the only time you missed me??
:smack: :smack: :smack:
I’m not sure how it ended up in IMHO, but that’s where it was (I must’ve been reading there before I posted…).