One of my favorite scenes in Airplane (and most reinacted with my family) is when the doctor is in the cockpit describing the symptoms of the illness associated with eating the fish, and the pilot looks down to see the (perfectly arragned) fish skeleton on his plate, and then proceeds to have each of the symptoms as the doctor describes them (dizzyness, extreme flatulence, vomiting, sweating, etc…)
I think this was from Airplane, but forget when, but I also like when the police (maybe it’s the news gusy) are asking questions and the guy says, “ok, boys lets get some pictures” and the guys with cameras start taking all the framed pictures off the walls.
Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.
male announcer: There’s just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved.
I always wanted to do something like this over the intercom at work if I could just get somebody to go along with me on it…
A couple years before Top Secret! came out, my dad had a Ford Pinto himself. I had made an 8 millimeter home movie in which my dad’s Pinto got very gently tapped from behind by another car, followed by a huge explosion (filmed by the ingenious method of alternating frames of bright red and yellow surfaces), followed by a tire rolling along the ground where the Pinto used to be.
The producers of Top Secret! obviously plagiarized my work.
Actually, I also think Top Secret is the funniest of all ZAZ collaborations.
Unfortuantley, not everyone thinks so. This makes it dangerous to recommend to friends. Some say “you made me waste my money on that ??!!” yet others say “wow I lauhed my ass off !!!”. I know Roger Ebert thought it was hilarious.
Anyway, here’s a joke you might have missed. During the "Skeet-Surfin’ " opening, Nick Rivers is being shown on all the popular magazine covers, Time, Life, etc. And since he is a “Skeet Surfer” it is natural that he is on the cover of “Guns and Ammo”. As that cover moves very quickly toward the camera (use the pause button) you’ll see one of the articles is “My Daughter Is Dead … But So Is The Burglar !!” In very bad taste ? Yes. But nonetheless funny ? Damned Right !!!
The lyrics to the national anthem, with lines like “and there is no hope of escape.”
The giant phone in the foreground gag.
The whole bit in the bookstore that was filmed backwards.
Omar Sharif getting crushed into a tiny car, and his antenna going up when Hillary leans over to change his oil.
The “Anal Intruder” gag. “It took us 2 hours just to get the smile off his face.”
It actually make me think Val Kilmer was kind of cool. At first.
More Police Squad…
There was an episode where they were looking in the yellow pages for a tuba store, and reading off names like “Tuba or Not Tuba”, “Tuba Ligation”, etc. (There were lots more… anybody else remember any?)
And one where they’ve arrested someone at the end and Drebin says something like “They’re taking him away in a black and white now,” and you see the perp riding off on a zebra.
Another great sight gag from the first episode of Police Squad. This one really skewers the “handkerchief over the phone” trick.
Frank Drebin calls Sally Decker and pretends he is her boss, Doctor Zebatsky. At first we see Leslie Nielsen speaking in his normal voice but since he has a handkerchief over the phone when they switch to Sally Decker on the receiving end, the voice is precisely the same as Dr Zebatsky’s !!!
I never knew the handkerchief over the phone worked that well. LOL
The Kentucky Fried Movie had a parody of a high school chemistry film - “Zinc Oxide”. It shows a housewife stirring cake mix in a bowl and she asks the Narrator “but how do I use zinc oxide”? The Narrator goes on to list all the everyday items that contain zinc oxide and each named item begins to disappear from the screen - the spoon, the bowl, the shelf hooks (crash), cars’ parking brakes (crash), ALL automobile brakes (many crashes), that safety catch on your son’s rifle (muffled gunshot then ‘Mommy !!!’), your artificial leg, etc.
Actually, I think the exploding-Pinto scene was from Naked Gun.
Also from Naked Gun:
FRANK DREBIN: Ludwig showed me some pictures . . .
JANE SPENCER: I was young. I needed the money.
From Airplane:
AIR-TRAFFIC CONTROLLER: Should we light up the runway?
STEVEN McCROSKEY: No . . . (heh-heh-heh) . . . That’s just what they’ll be expecting us to do!
Then there’s the scene where Elaine and Jack meet for the first time in a sleazy waterfront bar – we see two hands playing cards, one player catches the other cheating, punch is thrown, knife pulled, camera pulls back and we see they’re both Girl Scouts . . .
From Airplane II: The Sequel:
AIRPORT OFFICIAL 1: Can McCroskey handle this?
AIRPORT OFFICIAL 2: I don’t know. Ever since Reagan fired the air traffic controllers he’s been completely senile.
1: And McCroskey?
2: The same.
TED STRIKER (to ELAINE DICKERSON): But we’re not living in the past anymore. Or the present. This is the future.
ELAINE (courtroom scene): We used to laugh together . . . to laugh all the time . . . do you know what it’s like to laugh like that, Your Honor?
JUDGE (utterly stonefaced): Yes, I do.
For some reason, in the theater, that never got the laugh I thought it deserved . . . too subtle? – And there was the extra business with the court reporter in the background . . .
I also like the hospital scene where Ted is painting a Vietnam-nightmare scene with a wild-eyed soldier in a burning jungle, standing on one leg with one foot behind his neck, holding a baby and a rifle. Then he says, “You can take a break!” and we see a model holding that position in front of a jungle backdrop.
From Kentucky Fried Movie, "A Fistful of Yen:
KLAHN [having just chopped off a spy’s head]: Now, take him to be tortured!
[another spy is led in]
SPY: You don’t scare me, you yellow bastard!
KLAHN: We’ll see! Take him to Detroit!
SPY: NOOO! NOOO! NOOO!
KLAHN: I have been wanting this chance to show you my operation! [pulls up shirt to reveal a surgical scar]
TOUR GUIDE: And this is the drug processing center. It produces enough heroin each month to supply one-third of the world’s addicts. Now if you’ll follow me, we’ll see the atomic bomb with which Dr. Klahn is planning to hold the world hostage . . .
SCIENTIST: A toy robot?!
ROBOT: Eat lead, sucker!
And there’s the Dating-Game style trial scene with the guards, Hung Well, Long Wang, and Enormous Genitals.
Also, of course, from KFM: “Catholic High School Girls In Trouble!”
“Never before has the beauty of the sex act been so crassly exploited!”
The courtroom scene:
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY [waving large rubber penis at witness]: Are you aware of the penal codes in this state?!
[a few minutes later, holding penis on forehead and waggling it] We mean no harm to your planet! We mean no harm to your planet!
Also, extra business with court reporter in background.
The Pinto exploding’s near the end of Top Secret where they’re parodying The Great Escape.
I always liked the fight in the farmhouse in that, where they’re shooting through the windows playing noughts and crosses, and one of them can’t smash the window panes. He even shatters a hammer on it, then someone comes up and taps it slightly and all of it falls out.
“Grenade!”
Deja Vu: “havent we met before, monsieur?”
The bit when they scale the castle and Chocolat Mousse throws a German soldier from the parapet, and he shatters like pottery on the ground below never fails to crack me up either.
Game Show Announcer: Guard number one is a senior on Klahn’s mountain, and aspires to be a research chemist. Welcome, please, Hung Well! Guard number two is a real skating buff. A warm welcome for Long Wang! Traveling comes naturally to guard number three, as he’s a licensed airplane pilot. Welcome, please, Enormous Genitals!
I’m not wearing any pants; film at 11.
Top Secret!
Nick Rivers: Do you mind if I have a swig of this?
[picks up bottle]
Chocolate Mousse: Go right ahead.
Nick Rivers: [takes a mouthful, spits in disgust] What the hell is this stuff?
Chocolate Mousse: Gasoline.
