Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.
Man in Taxi: [looking at his watch] Well, I’ll give him another twenty minutes, but that’s it.
Ted Striker: It’s Lieutenant Hurwitz. Severe shell-shock. Thinks he’s Ethel Merman.
Lieutenant Hurwitz: [singing] You’ll be swell, you’ll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin’ here, startin’ now. Honey, everything’s comin’ up roses…
Ted Striker: War is hell.
Airplane! tops my list of funniest movies of all time. Every line in that whole movie is a funny quote. Some of my favorites:[ul][li](Ted Striker) I’ve got to concentrate… concentrate… concentrate… I’ve got to concentrate… concentrate… concentrate… Hello?.. hello… hello… Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota[/li]
[li](Elaine Dickinson) There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? [/li]
[li](Rex Kramer) Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and get kicked… in the head… with an iron boot? Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. It’s a dumb question… skip it. [/li]
(Ted Striker) It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It’s worse than Detroit.[/ul]
A flashing sign on the airplane that says “Don’t Panic”, and then changed to “OK, Panic.”
A nun reading “Boy’s Life” magazine, and next to her, a boy reading “Nun’s Life” magazine.
When a doctor at the Mayo clinic tells Captain Oveur about the girl on his flight who’s getting a transplant, and he says “I’ve got a heart for her right here.” And on the desk os a beating human heart which begins to jump around like a frog at every beat.
Ted: My squadron is shipping out tomorrow. We’ll be attacking the fuelling station at Daquiri at 1800 hours. We’ll be coming in from the North, under their radar.
Elaine: But when will you be back?
Ted: I can’t tell you that; it’s classified.
Rick and Interface 2X
Your quotes are a little inaccurate and take away from the hilarity of those lines. It goes like this: DOCTOR: How soon can we land? PILOT: I can’t tell. DOCTOR: You can tell me. I’m a doctor. PILOT: No. I mean I’m just not sure. DOCTOR: Well, can’t you take a guess? PILOT: Not for another two hours. DOCTOR: You mean you can’t take a guess for another two hours?
And HPL the Macho Grande routine is from Airplane II.