“We have clearance, Clarence.”
“Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?”
I also like at the beginning at the airport, where the magazine rack has “Fiction” and “Nonfiction”. I don’t know why, but that cracks me up. Also, Kramer cooly taking off his dark sunglasses to reveal another pair underneith.
“I’d just like to wish you good luck, we’re all counting on you” throughout and after the landing.
The people standing in line with various blunt objects to beat up the hysterical lady.
Pretty much every scene with Otto the autopilot.
“Calm down; get a hold of yourself!” :smack:
McCroskey: “The fog is getting thicker!”
Johnny [jumps into shot] “And Leon’s getting llllaaaaaarrrrrrger!”
I loved the opening credits with the airplane wings coming up through the clouds like the shark’s fin in Jaws – accompanied with appropriate music. I started laughing then and didn’t stop.
… and the man in the taxi was actually Howard Jarvis, architect of California’s Proposition 13. He’s the reason my property taxes are low, and why my high school resembled a Turkish prison.
I love when Captain Kramer is walking through the airport.
“Scientologyyyyyyyyy!”
Also, every scene with Johnny.
“What can you make of this?”
“I can make a hat. Or a brooch. Or a pterydactal.”
“Where did you get that dress? And those shoes? And that hat? Ohhh!”
I also like the whole “Looks like I chose the wrong week to quie (insert bad habit here).”
How about the little girl?
“I like my coffee like I like my men. Black.”
“The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading only. There is no stopping in the white zone.”
“The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading only. There is no stopping in the red zone.”
“Don’t you tell me which zone is for unloading and which zone is for loading.”
“Listen Betty, don’t start with you white zone shit again.”
“Oh really Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly what this is about. You wanted me to have an abortion.”
not a quote, but favorite moments include the sick girls expressions when her IV gets pulled out twice
and the whole flachback scene in the bar from the leggy girl with the trombone to the girl scouts still trying to kill each other.
Don’t forget the audio jokes:
Every external shot of the airplane was accompanied by the sound of propellor engines, despite the plane being a jet…
Radio DJ:"This is WZAZ in Chicago where disco lives forever… " (SMASH!!!)
[sub]This thread has me in tears, and I’ve seen this movie about 100 times[/sub]
Some nice visual sequences:
The bar/disco where Elaine dances with the guy that gets stabbed in the back, then she imitates every move of the guy’s death motions.
The news of the airplane tragedy gets broadcast around the world. They end up showing this pudgy Polynesian-type guy, who is tapping out the regular news on the drum. Then he changes the sticks to tap out the “bulletin”. HILARIOUS !!!
Dr Rumack (Leslie Nielsen’s) nose keeps growing as he tries to calm the passengers. “Well it is true that one of the crewmen is ill … slightly ill.”
Elaine: “We had two choices for dinner; Chicken or fish.”
Dr. Rumack: “Oh yes, I remember. I had the lasagna”.
“Ted never vomits at home”
Barbara Billingsley: “Oh stewardess! I speak jive!”
Mrs Kramer: “Down, Shep!”
Oh, and of course Ted Striker’s drinking problem. He keeps missing his mouth with the glass.
Discussion in the tower: they’re on instruments
Cut to the flight crew: jammin’ jazz improv for a few bars
The elderly lady talking to Ted about Elaine: Her firm, pouting breasts…
We have to get this man to a hospital!
A hospital? What is it?
It’s a large building, with patients, but that’s not important now.
The preflight check, mechanic pulls the dipstick, slams the hood of the plane, etc.
Jack Kilpatrick: “Shana, the point is, they bought their tickets! They knew what they were getting into! I say, let 'em crash!”
Also, the bit with the African news anchor beating on a drum . . . then somebody hands him a bulletin in the form of a new set of drumsticks . . .
“I think we might be about to die . . . and I’ve never been with a man before . . .”
Reporter: “Can you give us the story from the top?”
Johnny: “First the Earth cooled! Then the dinosaurs came! But they all got too big and fat, and they died and turned into oil! Then the Arabs came, and they all bought Mercedes-Benzes!”
Reporter: “All right, boys! Let’s get some pictures!” [reporters scramble to claim pictures off the wall]
From Airplane II: The Sequel:
Stewardess: “We’re a little off course. In space terms, that’s about two million miles. Those pounding noises you hear are huge meteors slamming into the hull. It’s possible we’ll crash into the sun at any moment.”
Passenger: “Is there anything you’re not telling us?”
Stewardess: [uncomfortable pause] “Yes . . . we’re also out of coffee.”
Passengers: [general panic, screaming and pandemonium]
Airport Executive 1: “What about McCroskey?”
AE2: “Ever since Reagan fired the air traffic controllers, he’s been completely senile.”
AE1: “And McCroskey?”
AE2: “The same.”
“Nobody has to know you’re impotent!”
Ted Striker: “But we’re not living in the past. Or the present. This is the future!”
And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s dresses. I couldn’t believe it…
I always liked the exchange between Joey & Kareem in the cockpit where Joey wasn’t buying Kareem as his character. Especially the end:
Joey: I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try… except during the playoffs.
Roger: The hell I don’t. (grabbing him) LISTEN KID. I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
I haven’t seen this movie since I was a young teenager. I remember a scene having to do with jello…
I like the gratuitous naked breasts. When was the last time you saw gratuitous naked breasts in a PG-rated movie??
This is my standard response when I hear someone ask, “What’s happened so far?”
According to the DVD commentary, the “white zone/red zone” speech was recorded by the actual announcers at LAX. And yes, they are married.
In the Lasse Hallström film My Life as a Dog, young Ingmar has trouble drinking a glass of milk. He freezes with the glass in midair, struggling, and ultimately splashes it all over his face. Whenever I watch that scene I always shout, “Look! He’s got a drinking problem!”