“Birds, too.”
“Johnny, I want you to get every light you can and pour it on the runway”
I had seen this movie a dozen or so times on tv, but it was only a couple of years ago that I watched a video copy. Tremendous difference. One of my favorites was the magazine rack. In addition to “Fiction” and “Nonfiction” they also had a section entitled “Whacking Material.”
When I first saw the movie, it was with at a theater with my parents and a woman whom my brother met in Switzerland. The opening made her very uncomfortable about flying home.
Brain Glutton
Also, the bit with the African news anchor beating on a drum . . . then somebody hands him a bulletin in the form of a new set of drumsticks . .
*
Did you see my posting #33 ?
Also these 3 were from Airplane II (although you have your Airplane II label after these 3)
*“I think we might be about to die . . . and I’ve never been with a man before . . .”
*
Reporter: “Can you give us the story from the top?”
Johnny: “First the Earth cooled! Then the dinosaurs came! But they all got too big and fat, and they died and turned into oil! Then the Arabs came, and they all bought Mercedes-Benzes!”
Reporter: “All right, boys! Let’s get some pictures!” [reporters scramble to claim pictures off the wall]
Well, the grabbing of pictures was from the original. Right on the others, though.
BTW, anyone currently get skeeved out by the bit, early on, where the taxiing plane breaks through the window in the departure lounge?
I can’t stop laughing when I watch Captian Oveur go through the physical symptoms of the illness as the Doctor is explaining them to the stewardess.
“…followed by a complete loss of bowel control…”
“Coffee, Johnny?”
“Air Israel, clear the runway!” Shot of an airplane with a beard and a yarmulke.
“Assume crash positions!”
I liked the bland expression on the Polynesian news guys face, and the way he’d turn from camera to camera while continuing to tap away.
The strange things seen through the back window of the car as Rex Kramer and the airlane flunky drive to the airport.
As a sidenote, the only real laugh “Scary Movie 3” got out of me was towards the end, when they’re in the basement fighting the scary ghost girl, and Leslie Nielson opens the basement door and says, “I just want to wish you both luck, we’re all counting on you.”
“Chump doan wan no help, chump doan git no help. Jive ass dude doan got no brains anyhow.”
I remember watching through the entire credits with my other prepubescent friends, and being extremely disappointed that the breast woman wasn’t credited. Looking at IMDB, I see that they probably belonged to a Kitten Natividad. (Cool name.) A 25 year-old mystery solved!
Well, since someone broke the seal on Airplane II: The Sequel…
Boy: Can I ask you a question?
Striker: What is it?
Boy: It’s an interrogative form of sentence, used to test knowledge. But that’s not important right now.
Pilot: Striker was the squadron leader. He brought us in real low. But he couldn’t handle it.
Prosecutor: Buddy couldn’t handle it? Was Buddy one of your crew?
Pilot: Right. Buddy was the bombardier. But it was Striker who couldn’t handle it, and he went to pieces.
Prosecutor: Andy went to pieces?
Pilot: No. Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued.
Prosecutor: Howie came unglued?
Pilot: Oh, no. Howie was a rock, the best tailgunner in the outfit. Buddy came unglued.
Prosecutor: And he bailed out?
Pilot: No. Andy hung tough. Buddy bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle.
Prosecutor: Then Howie survived?
Pilot: No, 'fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.
Steve McCroskey: Jacobs, what have you got on Elaine Dickinson?
Jacobs: Well, I’m two inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with.
When the airliner finally lands and skids on its smashed undercarriage, the announcer declares it to be “now boarding at gate 27, 28, 29”… and the passengers run after it 
I know, not the exact quote, but you get it
You forgot the ending…
Prosecutor: And he bailed out?
Pilot: No. Andy hung tough. Buddy bailed out. How he survived, it was a miracle.
Prosecutor: Then Howie survived?
Pilot: No, 'fraid not. We lost Howie the next day.
Prosecutor: Over Macho Grande?
Pilot: No, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande…
This was always a bit of a mystery for me. I didn’t notice Merman in the credits but I DID see some kind of celebrity-look-alike company listed. Anyone have the StraightDope on this?
ps- As kids playing twenty questions, I had Ethel Merman as my “person”. As my sister was homing in, she asked if the person had a cameo in “Airplane!”- I said no. Much arguing later ensude. 
:smack: :smack:
Holy crap, I did! And that last line was the funniest one of the whole bit!!!
According to the IMDB, that really was Ethel Merman. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/fullcredits
Airplane II, courtroom scene: While the black passenger from the first movie is giving his testimony in subtitled Jive, the court reporter is wearing dark glasses and swaying back and forth with a wide grin, like Ray Charles. (Always makes me flash on the even sillier background antics of the court reporter in The Kentucky Fried Movie.)
See also:
We’re headed right for the sun!
What’s that?
It’s a huge flaming ball of gas in the center of our solar system, but that’s not important right now.
Stryker, Stryker, Stryker…snaps fingers Stryker!
Johnny shurgs and hits woman
A little joke I didn’t see until I picked up the DVD version: Near the beginning of the movie, at the newsstand, there’s a sign on the wall that reads “WHACKING MATERIAL.”