Enough Monty Python, Simpsons and Family Guy quotes, time to revel in the absurdity that is Airplane, Airplane 2 and the short but brillant Police Squad (I guess the Naked Gun movies count if you want to use them too).
I will get the ball rolling:
Steve McCroskey: This fog is getting thicker.
Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the weather briefing]
Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl…
Steve McCroskey: Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that’s happened up till now.
Jacobs: Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it.
Steve McCroskey: Jacobs, what have you got on Elaine Dickinson?
Jacobs: Well, I’m two inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with.
Det. Frank Drebin: My name is Detective Sergeant Frank Drebin. A series of gorgeous fashion models had been found unconscious and naked in laundromats. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate credit union holdups. I was doing my laundry when the call came in on a shootout.
Frank: We’re sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn’t dead then.
Woman: Is this some kind of bust?
Det. Frank Drebin: Yes, ma’am, it’s very impressive, but we need to ask you a few questions.
Mr. Olsen: These guns are identical to the one that killed Jim Johnson. Watch carefully as I test fire this gun into these video tapes of Barbara Walter’s interviews.
Ted Olson: You’ll notice that the bullet only penetrated to the point where Barbara asks Katharine Hepburn what kind of tree she wants to be.
Let’s hear yours.