Al Star
(based on the song All Star, lyrics and music by Smash Mouth)
Some…
Body once told me
“My brother has consoled me
Flo-rid-a state ain’t yours to be had.”
He was talking kind of dumb
With his finger and his thumb
In the shape
of a major league “A”
on his forehead
Well, deadlines keep coming and they don’t stop coming
Off to my counties, better hit the ground running
Didn’t make sense to concede the run
The ballots are smart but the voters are dumb
If they punched two or three
They’re both for me
So what’s wrong with taking the low road?
I know I really ought to concede
But I’ll count till I’m in the lead.
So!
Hey now you’re a counter, get you magnifier, stare hard
Hey now, Mr. Counter, can’t you see this ballot’s marred?
And machine counts work I am told
But only manual counts can be sto-ow-oled
It’s a done race – and they say Al Gore, “Spare us
The votes are counted – we’re just waiting on Harris.”
But the media men beg to differ!
See the hanging chad on the satellite picture?
Bush’s lead
is getting pretty thin
I got the popular vote
so I might as well win
“Earth in the Balance”
was a bore
But it won’t matter when I’m President Gore
Hey now you’re my lawyer, get your briefs ready, go sue
Hey now you’re my lawyer, let’s see what the courts can do
And machine counts work I am told
But only manual counts can be sto-ow-oled
A pregnant welfare mother asked,
Clinton’s reforms sure made me mad
Can you bring back all the perks I once had?
I said, “Yep, what a concept
I could use a few perks myself
And we could all use some pregnant… chads!”
Well the lawsuits start coming and they don’t stop coming
Bend all the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn’t make sense to concede the run
My brain is smart but my head is dumb
So much to do, so many to sue
So what’s wrong with taking the low road?
You’ll know I’m never gonna concede
I’m gonna count till I’m in the lead
Hey now you’re a Justice, get your robes on, I pray
Hey now you’re a Justice, make me President to-day
Machine counts are a sight to be-hold
But only manual counts can be sto-oled
But machines just count the the votes that were Po-o-olled
But only manual counts…
(W, W, W
W, W, W
I can’t believe I lost to dubya…)