Alias: Worst. Episode. Ever.

In case you haven’t seen Alias, it’s about a busty blonde 22-year-old babe who is a double agent for both the CIA and the “bad guys”, and who manages to don masterful disguises to sneak past international security checkpoints, and has become close friends with both the good guys and bad guys, and is not suspected of being a double agent, despite close scrutiny, until she goes on a date in France.

But that’s where the similarity to reality ends.

Sunday’s episode (which was a repeat) took the cake in the credulity department. Forget the silliness where she was in LA, and was told to be in Siberia in 4 hours – and where she showed up on time, with her male cohorts in US military-issue outfits, while she showed up in a form-fitting snow bunny suit from Christian Dior. (And no face protection, because God forbid the show’s star should hide her face, even at -50F.)

Forget the scene where she knocked out a guard with a spritz of poison gas concealed in a lady’s wristwatch.

The scene that got me was the one in Sri Lanka. Our little Hefneresque Mata Hari was tasked to sabotage a spy satellite. Which was to be launched from a stolen rocket. After confirming that the blast from the rocket will be deflected through a series of 2-mile-long tunnels, she made her way to the launch site and donned a protective suit. Which I assume she was carrying in her hip pocket, despite not being visible in the many butt shots of her.

When she arrived at the end of a tunnel, she paused to look up at the rocket. Yep, it’s the perfect machine for launching a spy satellite into low orbit. A Saturn V. With the USA logo still printed on the side. I have to guess that it was stolen from NASA and smuggled out of the US in a briefcase. And taken from one of the many spares that NASA had sitting around. Just in case, you know.

In the meantime, some badass with a Russian accent told an Asian lacky in mission control that his organization was nothing but a 2nd-rate NASA. That’s some insult, comrade.

So our sneaky cheesecake prepared to enter the tunnel – she unfolded a briefcase that turned into a high-powered luge, laid down on it, and jetted down the tunnel (which, despite being nothing more than a blast deflector, was well lit) at 150 mph. And she made all of the turns gracefully.

Upon arriving, she somehow climbed the tower and went to work. She opened a panel on the side of the payload, which was not only unlocked but didn’t even seem to be latched. The component that she needed to swap out just so happened to be easily accessible. Of course, she was racing against the clock, but insisted on finishing the job. When it was done, she slammed the panel closed, somehow got to the bottom of the tower just as the rocket ignited, and made her escape through the tunnel on her super luge. Followed by a fireball, naturally.

She made it through unscathed, as one would expect. She then turned to see the rocket blast off. She took off her safety goggles and protective headgear. Her makeup was perfect, and her freshly styled hair waved in the gentle breeze of the rocket blast.

Gotta love American TV.

Jennifer Garner is neither blonde nor busty.

Err forgive me if I’m wrong but wasn’t this the TV show marketed solely on the fact that the main character was wearing leather pants?

Mmm tonight is a new episode of The Shield.

Hey, dude, Alias has been on for almost two whole seasons now, and you’re only just realizing that it’s a heap of crap?

Pardon my yawn.

I don’t really care just how believeable the show is. I’m just watching it for the delicious Jennifer Garner, who I can assure you is not a busty blonde.

She is, however, the object of my total desire and the most attractive woman on television today.

Here’s some photos: Jennifer Garner.

You don’t like Bond James Bond either, do you.

Like chique said, how is this different from any Bond movie you care to name? Sounds like standard Super Spy fantasy fare to me. Seems unfair to criticize something for being true to its genre.

C’mon! Is this any worse than when she fired the machine gun underwater? Or when the CIA stole the steering wheel from a rental car in Taiwan so Jack could put his fingerprints on it, and they could then return it to Taiwan for an alibi? Or the fact that Sydney seems to learn another language every week?

The major plot line of the show is that a supersecretive organization posing as the CIA is working to recover futuristic artifacts from a 15th century Da Vinci/ Nostradamus hybrid.* And you want realism?

*Speaking of which, I’ve always wondered how Rimbaldi managed to get his notebook to Chile, seeing how the New World hadn’t even been discovered at that time.

Alias is my guilty pleasure TV show.

It’s horrible. The plot has no redeeming features at all. And I don’t find the acting that good either.

And yet, I keep watching.

But I’ve found it a really good litmus test of how little some people know, or how far they’re willing to suspend disbelief, or some combination of both - because they fail to see the plot holes. The huge, gaping, Sydney could fly a fucking 747 through them plot holes.

Oh well. I’ll still watch the new episode on Sunday night .

Yeah, I’ll confess to watching Alias… it’s better than a lot of the crud that gets shown, although admittedly worse than quite a lot of it too. My favourite gadget so far was the the thing that could download all the information from a computer in 30 seconds - by attaching it to the monitor…

Gah. My brother watches that show; every time he is I ask him “Hey, is that V.I.P.?” Then he punches me really hard.

I’m still trying to fit it into my basic TV watching scheme which goes as follows:
British Sit- Comedy: Yes. British SF: NO!
American Sit-Com: NO! American SF: Ok
I think my new category will be:
Any show whose main purpose is to show some @ss: NO! (That’s what the Internet is for!)

I stand humbly corrected.

And yes, I understand that most of this is barely worse than Bond, whom I love. And I don’t mean to piss on anyone’s BBQ. But lately I’ve lost patience with stories that stretch credibility to the point of absurdity. I mean, hey, did anyone but me even bother to consider that a slender and elegant lady’s necklace might not be big enough to contain enough explosives to loft a jeep?

The again, pretty lady throw jewels, big jeep go boom. Me like.

Well, that was the least plausible episode ever. I don’t disagree with you there. I think the writers couldn’t come up with anything and wanted to use up some old Apollo 13 footage. Most aren’t that bad though and only require mid-level suspension of disbelief.

I’m sorry, but that’s fucking pathetic. Do you hand out quizzes to your friends, and keep a running tab of who’s the smartest? Are you one of those people who thinks that absolutely everything is a contest, and that you must win at all costs? There’s an Onion article about that, I believe…

Thank you. I agree with everything you said.

Normally I’m content to suspend my disbelief and watch the pretty explosions and prettier women, but this particular episode made me :smack: and :dubious: every 3 seconds.

As far as Sydney not being a) blonde and b) busty, a) maybe I need to adjust my TV, and b) it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.