Fuck you, you stupid conspiracy theory nutbags. I was forwarded this by a coworker who just couldn’t wait to discuss it over lunch. Douche. Goddamnit people, smart up. Here is the gem:
*"Now you know!
1947
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell , New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F.Kerry
William J.Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E.Schumer
Barbara Boxer
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you.
It did for me."*
I know what you are thinking - it’s a joke. No, this asshole believes with every fiber of his being. Fuck! When I tried to tell him it is just random coincidence and there was probably a similar Republican list he replied - and I swear I am not making this up:
“Boy, you’ve really drank the kool-aid”
WHA… Me? Yes, that’s right it’s ME that’s dinking the kool-aid. Twat.
I just checked a few of the names on the list, and their birth dates were not as claimed in the original message. Too bad, it would have made for some interesting conspiracy theories.
When I’d point and laugh at the Weekly World Newsin the grocery store as a young 'un, my Mom Cheez_Whia would say: “And people who read this stuff are allowed to vote!” in tones of outrage.
Just thought I’d share a happy Doper family memory.
(Note, too that one of the covers on the Wiki article proclaims “Hillary Adopts Alien Baby”. Well duh - it takes a village to raise an alien baby, people.)
So what would the OP’s “friend” claim? That the official sources were lying about the “wrong” dates? If so, where on Earth (joke deliberate) did (s)he get the “right” dates from?
…was even one of them born in April '48? Oh wait, I got it, their official birthdays are just fabrication, and thus, the fact that none of them where born on the claimed date proves the conspiracy. It’s so blatant, really! :smack:
What would happen if you pointed out that Gore was born in March of 1948, a month before his claimed aliens? I doubt any of them were born 9 months after April 1948, but I only looked up the first one…
Confirmation via Wikipedia:
Albert A. Gore, Jr. - March 31, 1948 (well, this one is close)
Hillary Rodham - October 26, 1947
John F. Kerry - December 11, 1943
William J.Clinton - August 19, 1946
Howard Dean - November 17, 1948
Nancy Pelosi - March 26, 1940
Dianne Feinstein - June 22, 1933
Charles E.Schumer - November 23, 1950
Barbara Boxer - November 11, 1940
The only one who comes close to matching is Gore. So, dumb joke with a huuuuuuge stretch to get to the punchline.
As everyone knows, the gestation period for an alien-human hybrid ranges between eight months and negative fourteen years, so clearly the author of that email is onto something.
Trolling Wikipedia’s ‘this day in history’ pages, other than Gore, the only American politician of any real note likely conceived within a reasonable period around July 8 1947 is Gary Condit (b April 21, 1948). He was even born in Oklahoma, which is closer to New Mexico than say, Washington, DC (Gore), or Hope, Arkansas (Clinton). (Kerry, in Colorado was the only other one I bothered looking up anywhere near New Mexico.)
I was wondering if Larry Craig would fit in, but he was born in 1945. But, he might have been in that restroom for an ALIEN rendezvous and rectal probe.
Wouldn’t aliens capable of interstellar flight be smarter than us humans, so the people on the list would be theoretically smarter, too? I’m not reading too much into this, am I?
Remember when the Weekly World News ran an article “exposing” several U.S. Senators as aliens (a fair mix of Dem & Rep) and several of them responded by admitting to it & expressing surprise that nobody figured it out sooner.
Feigning nervousness, ask him if he got a visit from a couple of “men in black” last night, too. Then angrily tell him that you don’t know a damned thing about any list of people and to leave you the hell alone about it. All the while you should constantly look over your shoulder anxiously.
So, by this stunning logic, Rick James, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Alice Cooper, Teller (of Penn and Teller), Bernadette Peters, William Gibson, Bobby Orr, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Kathy Bates, Raffi, Richard Simmons, Jean Reno, Lewis Black, John Ritter, Olivia Newton-John, Robert Jordan, Ozzy Osbourne, and Samuel L. Jackson are all aliens?
