I admire Sheryl Crow a lot. She’s come up with what I feel is a spectacular idea and one befitting Dopers worldwide. She advocates the use of a dining sleeve. This would replace napkins and allow a diner to wipe their mouth on a replaceable sleeve on a shirt or jacket.
No mention is made of how this would be handled in the world of formal women’s wear. Perhaps the long-armed dress glove would make a comeback and the gloves would be wipe wash and wear?
I’m looking for just the right fabric pattern to use for my first Dining Sleeves !!
Does it occur to this fucking moron that those “dining sleeves” will not only have to be carried around somehow after being used, but that they will also have to be washed between uses, adding to the consumption of energy, water, and detergent?
And one square of toilet paper, with perhaps two or three on “pesky occasions”? I tell you what, let me take a dump on her face and see if she thinks that two or three squares of toilet paper will clean her up just fine.
This is the sort of idiocy that people with too much time and too little willingness to actually look at the issues in depth come up with.
Apparently I forgot to use the special vBulletin Coding keystrokes to highlight " Sarcasm " in my OP.
She’s a lunatic, but the idea of a dining sleeve was inspired lunacy. Of COURSE it’s worse for the environment. You’ll need cloth bags to carry the soiled sleeves in , and they in turn will need to be washed.
If she wants me to limit myself to ONE square of toilet paper then I propose she come here and wipe my ass for me with that one single square, then run straight off to dinner, only wiping her hands off with her dining sleeve before chowing into her soyburger.
Maybe this is why she’s so unfamiliar with these commonplace things called “linen napkins.” Dining sleeves would just be tacky and a display of uncouth table manners.
Honestly, the article seemed like something out of The Onion. It’s ridiculous to suggest that people take a radical step like reducing their use of toilet paper, rather than something that they’ll more easily accept, like reductions in the use of office paper. (And how much of the paper consumption in this country is from toilet paper anyhow?)
Heh, I love it when I click on one of these “do what I say to help the environment” links only to find far too much mention of cars and dishwashers and clothes driers.
Nope, I have none of those things, but I do use low energy light bulbs, I am will use exactly what toilet paper I consider necessary, Ms Crow.
How is this “ban” or “limitation” on paper use supposed to be policed, anyway? Weird.
I have no idea, but I’m sure the people who make the toilet paper “oven mitt” for wiping themselves may be VERY upset at the idea of using less paper. They might, gasp!, have to deal with a bodily function and wash their hands properly afterward.
Heh, this is an old boy scout joke! You show people how to use the one square when you’re out hiking in the woods, because you have to strictly ration toilet paper use, don’tcha know.
First, take the single square and fold it into quarters. Then take the corner with the folds and carefully tear it off about a half inch in. Take the resulting piece and put it in your ear. When you unfold the sheet, you’ll have a square with a round hole in the middle.
Secondly, lay the sheet on the palm of your hand, with your middle finger through the hole on top of the sheet. Make a wiping motion on your ass.
Thirdly, with the other hand, carefully fold the sheet up toward the middle finger, using the back of the sheet to wipe the imaginary shit off the finger, all the way up to the end. Ball up the sheet and throw away. (Or save for later as a prop in the “how to tell who’s a cocksucker” joke.)
Fourthly, retrieve the corner piece from your ear and use it to clean imaginary shit from underneath your middle fingernail.
This really slays 'em in Cub Scouts, I can tellya! The little kids take it seriously and they’re always so worried about how this toilet paper trick is going to work in real life. If you’re lucky they’ll still be falling for it months later.
I bow before you, man.