All I want for Christmas is gadget to attach to the TV that will change the sound of a doorbell so when a TV doorbell rings my real life dogs won’t feel compelled to answer.
Oh, I’m gonna keep using these #%@&* codes 'til I get 'em right.
I want it to snow in Eugene so I can cross-country ski to campus.
I want my grad school applications to be completed by merry nocturnal elves who write nice essays.
I want my S.O. to pick up a bottle of vodka for me on the way home so I can start on my bottle of kahlua.
Is this al too much to ask?
I don’t know if Al is too much to ask but you could ask your S.O. to buy the vodka rather than having him read your mind. Just don’t let him catch you asking Al.
Let’s see. I lathered and I rinsed. But did I repeat?
p.s. I apologize if I got your/your S.0.'s gender wrong.
Let’s see. I lathered and I rinsed. But did I repeat?
This isn’t a Christmas Wish, it’s my year round wish:
I wish a little elf or a crew of the pointy eared buggers would come to my house and weedwack everything that I can’t get with the mower/tractor.
I wish the same elves, or their gay counterparts, would come to my house and paint all the rooms for me and decorate them too, free of charge. Scratch that, I want some nicer , but practical stuff. ( We’ve decorated them - free of charge (read : Moms’ basement furniture)
And when these little elves are finished with the above chores, I could use a weekly full body massage and it really wouldn’t hurt to have one lactating female elf on hand to take over for me when I’m pooped and need a break when Baby X arrives.
Oh, to finish a story ( ok, I’ve finished a few of them) get the balls to send it in and make some money off my daydreams. That would be the one Christmas wish, to get the balls to send it in.
All I want for Christmas is my englishman damn it!.. and if you can’t bring me that you are just a nice old man with whiskers
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Shirley, I know what you mean. Once, when I was REALLY drunk, I saw Gay Elves painting the ceiling of my bedroom too ! They even left a business card, which I unfortunately misplaced.
Haven’t been able to track them down since. Great paint job, though.
Anyone know the number for the Gay Elves Painting Company ? 1-800-COLOURFAIRY ?
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
What I want for Christmas (I hate traffic):
http://www.weapons-catalog.com/0702ey70/APC/btrt.htm