Eve turned one last month. She’s a gorgeous, funny, lively little thing (actually not that little, she’s in the 98th percentile), but DEAR GOD is she ever going to sleep??! She’s never slept through, she’s not even close - a “good night” is one when she only wakes up 3 or 4 times, and she takes aaaaages to resettle. During the day she will only nap on me - try to put her down and she wakes up and screams - which means I can never use the time to get anything done, or you know, take a shower.
She’s still breastfeeding - frankly I’d like to stop, as she’s very rough with me, but I’ve no idea how, as she’s such a little addict.
We also moved out of London to the suburbs last month, so due to her commute her Dad’s around less - he used to be home in time to put her to bed occasionally, but now there’s no chance. Frankly if it wasn’t for my mum popping in most days to help I think I’d have gone completely insane.
For the carriers, if you know anyone at all who has babies and uses them, ask to try theirs (after you have an actual baby) before buying one – I think the different brands and models often depend on one’s body type as to how comfortable they are. Most of them really hurt my back, especially when my baby was facing out, and she only liked to face out. I had envisioned using a baby carrier, but in reality, it didn’t work out very well for either me or the baby. I think I’m a minority here, because I know plenty of people who had great success with them.
I put it out there as widely as I could that I was more than happy to take second-hand baby things from my friends. A few people insisted that “oh no, you’ll want NEW” and I caved on a few items … and honestly, in retrospect I wish I hadn’t (although I did get plenty of second hand stuff). The funny thing is that after the fact, a lot of my friends who were the “oh no, you’ll want NEW” people later complained that they wished they could get rid of a lot of their baby stuff. SO MUCH of it you only use for a few months.
My standard advice to new moms, I guess new parents in general, is whoever usually takes the pictures in your family – in our case, that’s me – should make a point to let other people take photos, or to ask if necessary. From my daughter’s first year, we have about 500 pictures of her and Daddy, and maybe 5 with me. Especially in the beginning, I didn’t always feel very photogenic, but now that I’m more removed from it, it would probably be nicer for her as she grows up to have more pictures of us together, especially if I get run over by a bus or something.
If you go for used baby stuff, just remember to keep an eye on the recall lists. Carriers especially as a lot of them have been recalled in the last few years. I think all of the deep bag-like slings were recalled because of smothering risks.
Well, yesterday afternoon and evening I was “mama” and “mamamama”. Today it’s back to “ummm” and outstretched hands. Maybe wasn’t her first words after all.
All really great ideas. I picked out my carrier by reading reviews on Target and Amazon. But I would have preferred to try them on, because if I don’t have the straps adjusted just right I don’t realize it until I already have a sore shoulder or lower back. In this case, the expensive models may be better. But I’ve done fine with the knock-off, and I’ll keep using it for a couple more months. I figure twenty squirming pounds is my limit. When she’s walking, I’ll put the carrier away.
As far as used, I never expected or planned for a baby, so I made a game of finding everything I needed at thrift shops and from friends/Craigslist. Plus, I was 41, and far too old for a baby shower/gift grab, so I only received gifts from a few very close friends and family members. My mother helped me hunt for and collect baby items and together we outfitted the entire production for $550. Convertible crib, dresser, swing, bouncer, stroller, walker/play station, high chair, pack n’play, several toys (those went through the dishwasher) and even a few clothing items. I shopped Old Navy and Gap for sale items during off seasons by guessing what size baby would be during the appropriate season. The only new items purchased were the car seat and my Medela breast pump (My hospital gave me a Medela handpump and bottle starter kit). So… $550 over 9 months of planning wasn’t even a dent in the budget, plus it was a fun scavenger hunt. My friends, who all had designer babies ten years ago when it was appropriate to do so, would have been scandalized by all the used items I bought, so I kept that information to myself.
Ditto on the photos. Out of hundreds of photos maybe ten feature me, and those are grainy cell phone grabs. If you aren’t feeling photogenic, hand someone the camera and kiss or cuddle the baby and hide your face a bit; at least there will be evidence that you held the little one!
I am due with our third child on June 1st. We have 5 year old boy/girl twins. I thought I had a handle on the child raising thing, but I am terrified of this baby. My twins slept through the night at 3 months, mainly because they had each other to be there and comfort each other. This baby is going to be alone at night, and I am terrified that she will be clingy and needy and mommy won’t get any sleep. I also have to stay working, and being a working mom also terrifies me. I had to place my twins in day care at 8 weeks because I was back in school and work full time as well as my husband, and he is still in school and I am still working and I hate that. I wish he was out of school already and working so I could just stay home and not have to work out the logistics. I have all the intention of breastfeeding, but also fear that will go out the window when I have to travel away form home for work and leave her with someone. I know it is possible, but I just can’t see myself pulling over to pump while racing to a meeting with a client. The twins have been generally easy, though active and rambunctious, and I am spoiled because they always have each other to play with and entertain and don’t need my constant attention. This singleton is going to be so different I just hope I remember what to do with a baby! I confess I don’t really like the newborn/infant stage. When they start talking and walking is when I start enjoying them. Is that awful?
I had hoped for twins for exactly the reasons you described: so they could entertain and comfort each other. My little one does require a lot of attention and stimulation, but the 2 year old niece has never wanted to be held, read to, or entertained. They are all so different.
And I love the cuddly infant learning new things every day stage, and I’m worried about the running and yammering stage. Mostly because the next closest child in the family is kind of a little maniac; she’s always breaking things, throwing tantrums, climbing, sneaking food, beating the family dogs, just creating mayhem every waking second. So I’m nervous about the next stage. I’m not sure it’s possible for a child to be “mean” but I want to do whatever is possible and necessary to avoid that. (help)
3 months of complete sleep deprivation from never having one sleeping at the same time as the other landed me in the hospital for 5 days with a raging case of Postpartum Depression. My poor husband had to take care of both me and the twins, and ended up flunking out of a semester of school and having to repeat the year because of it. I would never ever want to go through that again.
My hex says that just at the point she was about to break because of weeks of sleep deprivation the kid(s) started to sleep thru the night. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, knows.
Ha, I remember finding out I was pregnant, and thinking “oh, wouldn’t it be fun if it were twins!” and then after about two days with a single baby, realizing “what the HECK was I thinking?” I am very impressed by parents of twins!
Don’t bee too impressed. I just lived with the hand I was dealt, and barely survived the first few months! I am enjoying the absolutely heck out of it now though.
I have had a fairly easy pregnancy this time around, but I am afraid I have forgotten how to take care of a baby (how silly right) and having a history of PPD and I am fearful of my possible mental state after having her. I am planning on getting an IUD after this baby to prevent any future pregnancies. I am done!
Re: breastfeeding, just try it, if it works, do it till you can’t and keep rolling. The evidence that it can help prevent or delay PPD is pretty good,but if all it does is let you roll over and nurse instead of waking up to mix formula in those first few days it could make a difference. I bailed on pumping a couple months ago because I resented the noisy, cold, inefficient machine. I still use the hand pump if I’m making food purees or leaving her with Mom for a couple hours, but pumping just really frustrated me.
A couple previous threads led to the conclusion that if you can’t or don’t breastfeed for whatever reason that you don’t dwell or let guilt sneak in. You do what needs to be done and look forward.
So a little boy touched my daughter in her crotch today when they were seated for lunch time by reaching under the table and “tickling” her privates. He sits next to her in the seating chart. The school called me immediately to inform me, and they said Alli told her teacher immediately, the little boy’s parents were informed, and the teacher has removed the little boy from sitting near my daughter.
I know this is normal behavior for children their age, but part of me was livid. My daughter says she is ok, and knows it isn’t ok for anyone to touch her vagina and she was right to tell, but I can’t believe I have to talk about things like this with her at age 5. I am very proud of the way she handled it. I hate that you can’t prevent things like this from happening to your children unless you lock them away from the world forever.
Aww, that’s not cool, I’m sorry AprilR. Good for you for teaching her to speak up and put a stop to it. Stuff like that can happen anytime, anywhere a group of kids gather. I’ll bet teachers will have a long memory and keep an eye on him. It’s never a good thing, but not as sinister as if an older child or adult did it. Playing doctor and just being creepy little jerks is something a lot of kids do. You did the beat thing possible by preparing her for that situation. Good parenting And smart, resourceful kid!
The last 5 days have been fantastic sleep days for my baby- I’ve been putting her to bed at 7:30 and she’s been sleeping without waking for 3-4 hours! That means I get to do grown-up things! Like play video games and interact with my husband! I’m trying not to get too excited because every time I get excited about sleep patterns something goes bananas. I’m trying to enjoy each day that it goes well and assume that each day will go badly. That’s my parenting survival tactic: low expectations = pleasant surprises.
Also regarding sleep, there’s nothing like being the one who has to go settle a sleeping baby to make you notice how unnecessarily loud and obnoxiously your friends and family laugh. Settle, down, people! Nothing is that funny!
I remember when our daughter was a newborn and family came to stay, they all just had to wear their heavy shoes inside the house, and go clunk-clunk-clunking around while she slept. Drove me bananas.
Aargh. Eve hated - absolutely hated - baths from birth, and would scream like we were trying to drown her the minute we put her near one. With persistence we got her to the stage where she would tolerate them, and finally, thankfully, enjoy them.
Until about two weeks ago, when for no discernible reason she suddenly reverted up loathing them - and she’s bigger and stronger and more physically able than she was six months ago, so it’s like trying to bathe a feral tomcat. It’s a wrestling match just to get her in and washed, and I seem to end up wetter than she does.
Oddly enough, she’s been having swimming lessons from four months old and had never been anything less than perfectly calm and happy in the pool, it’s just the bath, and I’ve no idea why!
My son did that for about 6 months when he was 2, he was absolutely terrified of the bath. Then just out of no where, he was fine again.:dubious: Kids are strange.
And smart, resourceful kid!