All religious people should be executed

[Thudlow_Boink]

@ivan_astikov

From what I recall, The Bible was distinctly lacking in gag material, although that bit about the talking snake was some funny shit, right there.

The Master speaks:
Are there any jokes in the Bible?

(And the Dopers respond:
Are there any jokes in the Bible?
Biblical Jokes
Biblical humor)

[Drunky_Smurf]

@akennett

Ah, prayer – the very, very, VERY least you could do. Literally.

Wouldn’t not praying and doing nothing be “the very, very, VERY least” they could have done? Literally.

[Gustav]

No no, doing nothing is the same as not doing, so it’s not something you can do.

I think…

[Oakminster]

@mutantmoose

I don’t mind if a mod closes this now. It was fun for a while but now the humourless twonks seem to have showed up.

I’ve decided I actually prefer the religious people to humourless atheists. Who’d have thought - you’ve nearly converted me.

Doesn’t work that way, Sparky. Maybe if you were to sincerely apologize and request thread closure. Otherwise, you made your bed with your ridiculous trolling, and now you get to lay in it. And pretty much for however long you chose to remain here, which I hope isn’t very, the memory of this thread will follow you. You’ll always be known as the asshole that posted the “All religious people should be executed” thread. You can pretty much forget ever being taken seriously on any subject, because you’ve shown your true colors–you’re a feckless wanker, unworthy of consideration.

[mutantmoose]

Actually it does work that way, bozo. I started the thread so I can request closure. I only requested closure because the humour impaired were starting to show up in droves not because I have a problem with the subject matter.

I really really don’t like religion. My dislike of religion is stronger and more powerful than I think you realise. Whilst I’m obviously joking that I’d like to execute all religious people, there’s a part of me that would seriously like to do it. Maybe as payback for all the people the religious have executed over the centuries and continue to do so today.

[Polycarp]

@Gustav

No no, doing nothing is the same as not doing, so it’s not something you can do.

I think…

Und zen you have der Kristianwerke!

[Polycarp]

@mutantmoose

Actually it does work that way, bozo. I started the thread so I can request closure. I only requested closure because the humour impaired were starting to show up in droves not because I have a problem with the subject matter.

I really really don’t like religion. My dislike of religion is stronger and more powerful than I think you realise. Whilst I’m obviously joking that I’d like to execute all religious people, there’s a part of me that would seriously like to do it. Maybe as payback for all the people the religious have executed over the centuries and continue to do so today.

You can request a new pony, too. Doesn’t mean the Mods. will give you one.

However, I’d like to explore exactly why you started this particular thread, in light of what you just had to say above. Essentially you’re admitting to doing an irrational thing out of a blind hatred towards a group based on the perceived evil actions of some of its members. Do I need to draw out the point further, or is it obvious from that alone?

[Grrr]

I think we can give the Jewish folks a pass. They have no interest in converting us. Or killing us for that matter.

[Boyo_Jim]

Is there a button to request a new pony?

[MsWhatsit]

@Boyo_Jim

Is there a button to request a new pony?

Well, if there’s not, then what the hell have I been pushing?

[mutantmoose]

some points to refute you, Polycarp:

• I wouldn’t actually act on my desire to execute all religious people. Religious people act on their beliefs all the time and sometimes their beliefs have led to the execution of others.

• I don’t hate religious people or even religion itself. I just strongly dislike it

• Whilst it’s true that the evil actions of a few members of a group should not make me judge that group as a whole, in this case I am judging the group as a whole because it is the group’s belief system that I disagree with. The evil members are just icing on the cake.

• The mods can close or leave as they wish. I just put it out there that as far as the thread starter is concerned I think it’s run it’s course. In fact, the mod who moved it here (Marley was it?) was going to close it anyway before it even got started but decided not to

• I most emphatically did not request closure because I’m worried about criticism of my views if that’s what you’re thinking. I can look after myself. In fact I’m usually funnier than most of the people I argue against. Particularly in this thread where the people arguing against me are generally so - uninspiring.

[Oakminster]

Let me put this in terms you may understand. Mutantmoose, kindly go felate a goat. And not just any goat. I want you to felate one that has been less than diligent in matters hygenic.

[mutantmoose]

Yeah, cruelty to innocent animals has always been one of the specialities of you religious nutjobs

[Heffalump_and_Roo]

@MsWhatsit

Well, if there’s not, then what the hell have I been pushing?

[Dr. Phil]How has that been working for you?[/Dr. Phil]

[SoulFrost]

@mutantmoose

Whilst I’m obviously joking that I’d like to execute all religious people, there’s a part of me that would seriously like to do it.

Seek professional help.

Maybe as payback for all the people the religious have executed over the centuries and continue to do so today.

Seriously, sins of the fathers? I’m sure that somewhere in your family tree someone has done something bad, so what are you going to do about that? I’m sure that somebody wants payback.

@mutantmoose

I disagree with the nazis and the communists about lots of things. For one thing, they executed the wrong people.

Yeah. Maybe you’re beyond even professional help. I think that maybe you’re dangerous. I think that maybe this is a plea for help–please, oh please, somebody stop me before I go too far! I think that maybe someone should look into that.

@mutantmoose

In fact I’m usually funnier than most of the people I argue against.

Not so much, really.

Particularly in this thread where the people arguing against me are generally so - uninspiring.

But weren’t you just saying how hilarious the responses have been? How you’ve been laughing for days?

Oh yeah, you did:

@mutantmoose

However I’m quite glad that some of you have done because it’s doubled the humour value for me. I haven’t stopped laughing for about three days. It’s not jerkish - I just have quite a vibrant imagination. Unlikely and fantastical scenarios come quite easily to me. And the pit thread has been quite funny so it was all worth it just for that.

[Boyo_Jim]

Palin got it wrong – it was a “hopey changey pony thing” that we want from President Obama.

[Oakminster]

@mutantmoose

Yeah, cruelty to innocent animals has always been one of the specialities of you religious nutjobs

Which religious nutjobs? If you’d been paying attention with the nubby little stump where your brain should have grown, you’d know I’m an atheist.

[mutantmoose]

@SoulFrost

But weren’t you just saying how hilarious the responses have been? How you’ve been laughing for days?

I said I was laughing at the ones that took umbrage. People like you.

[Thudlow_Boink]

@Oakminster

Let me put this in terms you may understand. Mutantmoose, kindly go felate a goat. And not just any goat. I want you to felate one that has been less than diligent in matters hygenic.

Felate? Whatever happened to felching? In the old days we used to felch the goats.

[mutantmoose]

And Oakminster, I don’t care what your religious beliefs are. Your mind works in such a dull and linear way that I find I have little interest in whatever conclusions it comes to.

You fall squarely into the camp of humourless atheist.