Anthracite: “You want my advice? Take a shower with Winnowill. I did, and it was a mind scrambler! A non-stop heaven of slippery questing fingers, lightly tracing bubbles across tummies and nipples, followed by questing soft lips and a tongue that buckles your knees, and her arms hold you and support you as she lowers you to the floor. Water cascades over you, and steam obscures her beauty, as she holds you in her arms and makes gentle love to you for hours, your cries rising and falling amongst the splashing of the water.”
The keys to good quotes are to take them out of context, like movie blurbs, use them even further out of context, and, if you make them up, make sure that fact cannot be proven, whether by placing the quote at a time when you knew the person was drunk and was an unreliable witness who COULD have said it or else when the server crashed and ate all the posts.