All time greatest "Simpson's" moments

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Two favorite bits…both being classic Homer moments:

First from Deep Space Homer when Homer freaks out about going into space and calls Marge.

Homer: Marge…I don’t really want to go through with
this. But being an astronaut is how I got you
to respect me!

Marge: Homer, when I met you, you weren’t an astronaut.
You didn’t even know how to use a touchtone, but
I still respected you and I always will, no
matter what.
[touchtone sounds come from the phone]
Homer, you already dialed. But on the other hand,
when you don’t take advantage of an opportunity,
you can end up regretting it for the rest of your
life.

Homer: You’re right, Marge. Just like the time I could
have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept
saying, “I’ll go a little later. I’ll go a little
later.” And then when I got there, they told me
he’d just left. And when I asked the mall guy if
he would ever come back again, he said he didn’t
know. Well, I’m never going to let something like
that happen again! I’m going into space right now!

Marge: Oh, I am so proud of you. And I know it’s going to
go just fine
[touchtone sounds come from the phone]
Mmm…

and secondly from The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular, a clip from when Bart became Mr. Burns’ heir.

Homer: Bart, you’re coming home.

Bart: I want to stay here with Mr. Burns.

Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.

Homer: Or what? You’ll release the dogs, or the bees,
or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when
they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go
ahead. Do your worst.

Burns: “Do my worst”, eh? Smithers, release the robotic
Richard Simmons.
[a door open and said robot walks out]

Simmons: Come on, big boy! Shake that butter off those
buns.
[a speaker pops out of its head and plays “Shake
Your Booty”]

Homer: Aah! [runs away]

Simmons: Come on, come on, girls! Shake, shake, shake!

Burns: Smithers, it’s out of control.

Smithers: I’ll take him out, Sir!
[cocks shotgun, blasts it in the head]
[the hole closes up a la T2 and the dancing
resumes]
Simmons: [slowing down] Shake, shake, shake! Shake,
shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake…

Smithers: His ass is going to blow!
[they all run in the house]
[the robot explodes, its head landing far away]

I love that bit…especially the Homer’s part about the dogs that shoot bees…ROTFLMFAO every time I see that one!!! [Sigh…] Alas, Homer is now just a stupid, vulgar, angry American, and the writers on the show just stink…

22

I guess I should mention that I got these transcripts from The Simpsons Archive. It’s only fair to give props to your source.

23

“Homer vs. the City of New York”

My absolute favorite thus far.

Vendor: “Mountain Dew or crab juice”

Homer: “Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwww, yech, Give me a crab juice.”

Also, “Time and Punishment”

24

One of my favorite moments is during the episode when Selma realizes she wants to have a baby, and goes on a date with that Mole Man guy.

In the restaurant:
Mole Man (studying the menu): Chicken… Yellow… Mailmain…
Waitress: Sir, that’s the wine list.
Mole Man: Very good.

And in the car after the date, when Selma encourages him to kiss her goodnight, but then it cuts to a room where they sit side by side on a couch, while a bunch of blind little children run around crashing into the furniture and each other, until they’re all passed out on the floor and one of them has fallen out the window. Classic!

Another favorite is when Homer gives up beer for a month, and he’s in the AlcAnon meeting:

Rev. Lovejoy: “Feel free to share anything, Homer. There’s no judgement here.”
Homer: “Last night I was so desperate for a beer that I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.”
(horrified gasps)
Rev. Lovejoy: “I CAST THEE OUT!”

Both of those episodes are pure gold, through and through.

25

A pretty bad episode otherwise, but one shining, glorious exchange.

“You like Japan, Homer. You liked that movie, Rashomon.”
“That’s not how I remeber it!”

Crappy episode, though. They have all of Japan’s wierdness to play with, and the best they come up with is sadistic gameshows, which SNL did regularly anyway.

Though the “Guy Incognito” and “Sex Cauldron!” bits do come close . . .

–
Mmm. Sex cauldron . . .

26

The replies are pretty good. My faves:

  1. “Why… I could whack you all day with this surgical two-by-four…”

  2. “Mmmmmm! Floor pie!”

  3. “Why, no. You’re as weak as a kitten. Got your nose. Here comes the bee.”

27

There’s the one where Bart and Homer break into the school cafeteria to steal its grease so they can sell it. As they’re sucking it out with a vacuum, the hose gets stuck on Homer’s eye, and when he pulls it off, his eye is all bulging out… that just kills me everytime.

Then, there’s the one where Homer goes to the post office in an attempt to retrieve a letter that was sent out to Mr. Burns (a “thank you” letter to him for Bart donating his blood). When the post office clerk asks for his name…

Homer: [in that dumb voice he does] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns…
Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns, and what is your last name?
Homer: I don’t know.

That just brings me to the floor everytime.

28

I love all of the Sideshow Bob episodes, but this one, where Bob gets out of prison and stalks Bart across the country, had me crying with laughter by the end.
Some highlights:

– A tattooed Sideshow Bob is working out in his cell, like De Niro in Cape Fear. The tattoos on his fingers read L-U-V and H-A-T (the A has the “long A” line over it).

– When questioned in court about the “DIE BART DIE” tattoo on his body, Bob modestly explains: “No, that’s German for ‘The, Bart the.’”

– Also in court: Bob complains about the conditions in the “urine-soaked hellhole”, and a lawyer objects, and suggests the term “peepee-soaked heckhole”.

– Homer and the FBI agents (“Remember, your name is Homer Thompson!”)

– Bob stepping on the rakes.

– And for the finale, Bob sings the lyrics to HMS Pinafore. “I shall send you to heaven, before I send you to hell.”

I’m laughing just thinking about it.

29

Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”
Bart: “Are we there yet?”
Homer: “Just a little further.”

30

And, of course, the juror’s quote: “Well, no one who speaks German can be all bad!”

Snort, guffaw

31

All the Sideshow Bob episodes rocked, but I love the one where he steals the atomic bomb. Then of course, there’s the baseball episode. My favorite line was when Mr. Burns hears Homer’s auto-dialer message and says, “One dollar for eternal happiness… I’d be happier with the dollar.”

32

[Homer, looking frantically under the couch for a peanut he dropped there]

[Homer] Awwwwww, it’s just a 20 dollar bill!

[Homer’s Brain] No, you idiot! You can buy many peanuts with $20!

[Homer] Explain.

[Homer’s Brain] Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

Roscoe: [to all] Hey! Listen up! I want all of youse to say hello to the Simpsons.

All: [waving in a cliche, sissy-like attitude] Hello-o.

Homer: [gasps] Has the whole world gone insane?!

Worker: [sissy-like] Stand still, there’s a spark in your hair!

Worker: Get it! Get it!

Homer: [whimpers]

[another guy walks past Homer holding a vat of hot steel in hot pants]

Worker: Hot stuff, comin’ through!

Homer: [screams]

Bart: Dad, why’d you bring me to a gay steel mill?

Homer: [frightened] I don’t know! This is a NIGHTMARE! YOU’RE ALL SICK!

Worker: [waving his hand] Oh be nice!

Homer: Oh! My son doesn’t stand a chance! The whole world’s gone gay!

[a whistle goes off]

Oh my god! What’s happening now?

Roscoe: We work hard, we play hard! [pulls a chain]

[“Everybody Dance Now” starts playing]

Two classic scenes in Simpsons history.

33

That’s one of my favorite episodes, too. My favorite bits include:

Sideshow Bob in prison, first writes death threat to Bart with blood, then uses bloody finger to write “To do” list, and finally passes out while writing to Reader’s Digest’s “Life in These United States.” Cell mate says, “For God’s sake, Bob, use a pen!”

In the movie theater, Sideshow Bob laughs and smokes to irritate the family, but it backfires when Homer becomes even more irritating.

On the houseboat, Marge asks Homer where the dog is. Homer says, “I tied him up out back.” Cut to Santa’s Little Helper swimming around the pier.

34

All time best lines (of course, they are almost all Homer lines)

Homer: Ah, a nice morning with my family.
Lise: Dad! Your hands caught in the toaster!
[Homer running around screaming, banging the toaster until it flies off]
Homer: Ahh…
Bart: Dad, it’s in there again!

Hilarious!
Also,
Homer: Don’t discourage the boy, Marge, weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what seperates us from the animals!..except the weasel.

or,
Bart: Oh, I wish I had that flying motorcyle now.
Frink: You had your chance, mm-hey!

Well, that’s all I can think of for now.

35

<<the 137th episode spectacular>>

actually, it’s the 138th episode spectacular. :slight_smile:

36

Along the Apu-as-hummingbird thing, at the end he says “Oh, I even tried to drink nectar out of Sanjay’s head”

Also, this week’s ep with the computer was great.

salesman-This is the same computer the astronauts use!
Homer- I was an astronaut!
salesman- suuuuuure.

To quote Homer on this, it’s funny 'cause it’s true!

37

And, of course, there’s Homer wearing his “Witness Relocation Program” t-shirt and baseball cap. Kills me.

38

My favourite Simpsons scene is in the episode where Bart won the elephant. Stampy had run away and and Bart goes out looking for him, and later the rest of the family go looking for the both of them.

Lisa: Look there he is.
Homer proceeds to drive through a bush and hits a statue.
Homer: D’oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer.

39

The joke, of course, being that the statue is actually a hedge shaped like a deer…

40

The Stampy episode, when the family car is careening through the Springfield tar pits when they crash into a deer shaped shrub.
Homer - Doh!
Marge - A deer.
Lisa - A female deer.

And, after Homer starts sinking into the tar…
No problem. First I’ll pull my legs out with my arms. And now, I’ll pull my arms out with my face.