I think the only reason Battlefield Earth hasn’t gotten more votes is because most people haven’t seen it, and are thus unaware of its bottomless pit of suckitude.
Lawn Mower Man II
Three are a number of movies that were out when I lived in Hong Kong that I never saw, but assumed could only be bad news. One that I saw advertised a lot was the “Raped by an Angel” series, which apparently was so popular that it had at least three sequels. Luckily, the newspapers often mispelt it as “Raped by an Angle 4”
Then there was 990714.com, which came out several years before FearDotCom, and whose description goes: “990714.com is one of most terrifying website, which belongs to the spiritual world. An ordinary mortal loves it, and has to pay the price.” Ugh.
They’re up to 5 now…and the series is a pseudo-spinoff of the Naked Killer movie.
I LOVED Manos (how do you put the ~ in there ?)— because Joel and the bots MADE it funny ! I wish I had taped that.
If you want to tick-off your friends, tell them that “Eraserhead” is a good one to rent. I rented it (25+?) years ago just to see what his hair-do was all about.
OH MY— I can STILL hear that poor chicken-baby crying.
Did anyone read " Watchers " by Dean Koontz ?
DON’T rent the movie. One of the scariest books I have ever read–totally ruined by the movie.
One of the “Cories” starred.
I always mention this movie in these threads, and nobody else has seen it. That’s a good thing.
Druids, starring Christopher Lambert, is simply the worst movie I’ve ever seen… possibly the worst movie that has been or ever will be. It’s far worse than most of the movies listed here thus far (though I haven’t seen the Hieronymous movie, so I can’t judge by that one).
Bad acting, no coherent direction, and a story that falls apart after 5 minutes and never finds its way back.
You really need to see this one to appreciate how bad it was, but like Marley, I would not wish this movie on anyone but my worst mortal enemies.
And, while XXX wasn’t the worst film I’ve ever seen, it may well have been the stupidest.
I want to second Manos: The Hands of Fate. Some movies are so bad they cross over to good, this one is so bad it goes all the way over to double bad.
Has anyone ever seen Twelve to The Moon? Or Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?
They are truly dreadful.
Santa Claus (VS?) the Martians.
I don’t think it’s fair to stick it in there with "plan 9 " types because it WAS made for little kids. Pia Zadora had a big head as a child too.
And, the latest in the “I can’t BELIEVE no one’s mentioned this” series:
Cool World
Less than stellar animation, less than stellar acting, combined to make a final product far less than the sum of its parts. Complete with the most gratuitous “let’s pull a happy ending out of our asses” ending I’ve ever had the misfortune to pay full price to see.
[spoiler]One of the main plot points is the angst between Brad Pitt’s character (a human) and his girlfriend (a “doodle,” or a cartoon). Part of Pitt’s job is to prevent humans and doodles from ever having sex – if it happens, the borders between the Cool World and the real world break down, and both are destroyed. So, Pitt and his girlfriend can never get together…
At the end, Pitt’s character is killed by Kim Basinger’s Holly Would, who was a doodle at the time. His body is brought back to his girlfriend’s house. She asks how he died, and then she exclaims, "But if a “noid” is killed by a “Doodle,” he BECOMES a “Doodle!” And immediately, Pitt is reborn as a cartoon! And they start making out!
Why didn’t she just stab him in his sleep some night?[/spoiler]
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians deserves to be on this list, even if it is a children’s movie, only because of all the people I’ve met in my life who refused to believe that a movie of that title could actually exist.
And because of Pia Zadora.
And the oaf playing Santa Claus.
And that stupid Martian guy who was supposed to be funny.
And that GODAWFUL SONG THAT I STILL CAN"T GET OUT OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT STUPID MOVIE IN OVER TWENTY YEARS!!!
And later re-packaged as “Attack of the the Eye Creatures” (with two "the"s), as all good MSTies know.
IMHO, Zardoz is very entertaining. At least the movie has convictions, opinions, interesting set design, funny sort of wrong costumes, and on top of all that, the story is about solving a mystery. I find it to make a great double feature with Barbarella.
Compared to Battlefield Earth, Zardoz is like Citizen Kane. Battlefield Earth is so awful, everytime a new movie appears with Travolta, I shudder and wonder how he even keeps getting work. He should have taken back all the money he’s given to Scientology, and bought up rights to the movie, and had every copy destroyed, so no one else on the planet can watch it, even accidentally like on Sci-Fi channel. Why is this movie so bad? It’s so boring, briming with cliches, has junk logic, 1-D characters, high-school play level costuming, and did I mention it’s just so utterly miserably boring? If it wasn’t an ode to L. Ron Hubbard, if Scientology didn’t exist, if instead of Travolta there was an unknown actor in his place, if it wasn’t such an expensive failure, people probably wouldn’t have even paid this movie any attention. So many movies, which you can find on Sci-Fi channel these days, are bad but easily forgettable.
The movie with the Village People Can’t Stop the Music is bad because it’s a snoozefest. Oh boy, people partying and living in their own little self-absorbed worlds that as a viewer, you feel left out of everything going on, and then, you just don’t care. I never even finished watching it, because I just didn’t care at all what was happening.
Heavyweights, a kids movie about a “fat camp”, where almost none of the fat kids are fat at all. Ben Stiller plays a fitness instructor, and he really must have been desparate to pay his bills to take the role. It isn’t funny and it’s supposed to be.
I have heard that Bless the Child with Kim Bassinger is supposed to be incredibly bad. Anyone see that that can clarify?
Def by Temptation, anyone?
Also, Ganjasaurus Rex … though it can be funny to hang with drunk friends and give GR the MST3K treatment.
i just looked this one up on the IMDB, i must see it now!
Whew… a lot of the really bad movies mentioned here I was fortunate (or smart enuf) to not watch.
I’m wondering why no one mentioned the official worst movie of all time to date:
Showgirls - this movie is so bad, women walking around naked couldnt help it. …and unfortunately I saw it.
Honorable mentions:
**Third Alien movie - i neither know nor want to know what the title really is.
**Any movie that Chuck Norris starred in without Bruce Lee.
**Any english movie that Sho Kasugi starred in.
**What was that forgetable movie that starred Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman…?? Road to something…I forget.
**Equilibrium - I saw this on DVD and was recommended by the video store clerk as being as good as The Matrix. I want to choke the 2 dollars back from him and make him pay for the wasted time I spent watching part of that movie.
Hmm, I liked it.
BTW, Glass did not make the score.
There’s a review of the film, including some stills, here: Bad Movie Report’s review of CHMEFMHAFTH?.
Aha! Yet another …
Daddy’s Dying … Where’s the Will? with Judge Reinhold and Beverly D’Angelo. What a snoozefest … how did a major studio ever release this tripe?