Alligator pie, alligator pie,
If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna die.
Give away the green grass, give away the sky,
But don’t give away my alligator pie.
– Dennis Lee, From Alligator Pie. Toronto: Macmillan, 1974.
Substitute for pie! It’s loads of fun, and once kept my husband and I entertained for weeks. You can read the whole poem here.
Alligator thread, alligator thread
If I don’t gedda post soon, I’ll likely soon be dead.
Take away the smilies, and all I’ve ever said,
But don’t take away my alligator thread.
Alligator shoes, alligator shoes,
If I don’t get some, the Gators gonna lose,
Give away my womens, give away my booze,
But don’t give away my alligator shoes!
The eldest Olethling[sup]TM[/sup] was singing this in the car the other night. She got very upset when I tried to use alligator steak or cake, so I’ve skipped those here in case she’s watching…
Alligator skirt, alligator skirt,
If I don’t get one, I won’t be able to flirt.
Take away Manolo, make me eat some dirt
But don’t take away my alligator skirt!
Alligator scrotum, alligator scrotum,
So scaly, green and cumbersome, it’s pretty hard to tote 'em,
Only found in Florda, so the grocer has to boat 'em,
So it’s hardly worth the effort cooking alligator scrotum.
Alligator couch, Alligator couch,
If I don’t get me one, won’t have no where to slouch.
Take away my lazy boy, I promise not to grouch.
But don’t take away my aligator couch,
Alligator job, alligator job
I wish I didn’t need on I have one, 'cause my boss is such a knob.
I wish I could just stay at home and live life like a slob,
But I gotta make a living at this alligator job.
Alligator shorts, alligator shorts,
The scales will make you chaif and give you rashes of all sorts.
Take away my Jocky, boxers or Maidenform I extort,
Because I just can’t face the day without my alligator shorts.
Alligator car, alligator car
Baby you can drive it, I’m gonna be a star
Don’t own one yet, but I will go far
And at least I’ll have a driver for my Alligator car
Alligator girl, my alligator girl,
She sets my heart a-flutter and my head is all a-twirl.
My folks invited us for dinner, but that’s not how it unfurled,
Who had them for dinner instead? My alligator girl.
…and thank you very much Ellen for getting this stuck in my head.
Alligator booze, Alligator booze
In praise of quicker liquor, with this you cannot loose
Pass the second bucket! I’m puking on my shoes
Lord but how I love that Alligator booze
Alligator movie, alligator movie,
I really wanna see it 'cause my friends say it’s groovy.
Eat up all the popcorn, don’t buy any Frooties,
Just please take to the alligator movie.
Alligator ninja, alligator ninja,
(bet you thought the regular kind were bad enough, didn’t ya).
Jammies, mask, sword, stars and a big toothy grin-ja
You just know your numbers up with an alligator ninja!
old alligator fart, old alligator fart.
you think you’re so hot, all trendy in art.
well, you aint all that, driving that fancy go-kart.
let me tell you, you aren’t anything but an old alligator fart.
Alligator Fundie, Alligator Fundie
Already on my nerves and it’s only Monday
Jesus fish on the back of your Hyundai
I’m converting to Crocodilism, than be an Alligator Fundie
Anyway, I’m really disappointed. I thought this was going to be about Cajun food. I could really go for an alligator pie right now. Maybe with a side of rice and gravy.
Alligator work, Alligator work
If I do not do it, they call me a big jerk
But I just can’t help it, my duties I must shirk
So please take away my alligator work
Alligator 'puter, Alligator 'puter,
If my sister touches it, I think I’m gonna shoot her.
If she don’t get off my chair, I will be forced to boot her.
But please get away from my Alligator 'puter.
