I have personally spaded a few critters in my life.
Once they’re stiff, I don’t like actually touching them.
“My dog’s breeder says “spaded”. What an idiot.”
Now you’ve found a stud to breed your bitch and he talks, you’re going to criticize his grammar ? Poor pooch, it takes a lot to impress some people.
Real funnee.
My bitch has been spayed, so she won’t be needing a stud. I, on the other hand, may be in the market for one.
I’ve a few.
I was having lunch one day and made the mistake of sitting near some ‘yuppies’ who worked in one of those mindless office buildings where all they do is plot various ways to skin other people out of money. Their conversation almost made me barf up my steak burger all the way with seasoned fries on their tofu and salads and ‘latee’s’ (parson my spelling but I don’t drink the damn things anyhow. NOT at $5 a cup when they use $0.05 worth of grounds.)
Networking
Interfacing (All of this NOT used in computer BUT office ways.)
Downloading
Investment horizon
data link
‘I’m thinking …’ (Whatever happened to ‘I THOUGHT’?)
Portfolio
Financial spread
Multinetworking
Multitasking
cell (cell phone)
Then that spread little finger and thumb gesture designed to indicate calling someone. ARRGH! I want to break their fucking FINGERS when they do that!
Disposable income (I never knew most people had any income that they could throw away.)
There, in my own opinion, seems to be a HUGE rift between the upper middle class and the upper lower class that is growing daily and WILL cause problems. Even the language used is changing.
By the way, I absolutely detest POWER suits on chunky women. Makes them look like hefty lesbians and what is with all of these balding, chunky guys having to wear chin whiskers and red wings these days?
Okay folks, there are a lot of my homies in here, so I hope I don’t get off on a rant here. But there are some things that drive me nucking futs! Example:
-
When people type or write “your” when they obviously mean “you’re”. I mean, think about it: someone who types “Your such an idiot,” looks like a real idiot themselves. I feel like calling them an oxy-moron.
-
When somebody ends a sentence with “at”.
Ending a sentence with a preposition is not so noticeable in some cases, like "It depends on what you believe in. But the one that drives me up the damn wall is when some moron says something like “I can’t 'member where I parked my car at.”
~OR~
“Hey! Where are you at?” or even worse “It depends on where you’re at.”
They should say -
I can’t remember where I parked my car.
-
Hey! Where are you?
and -
It depends on where you are.
I know I sound like a nitpicky asshole, but it just rubs me the wrong way to see someone act stuck up and think they are a know-it-all jerk and their verbage and syntax is for shit. I may come off as pedantic, but at least I have the common courtesy to not sound like an dumb-ass*!!! Noonch.
*This sentence a matter of opinion! 
“And on the eighth day, God Created beer
to prevent the Irish from taking over
the Earth.”
~SNOOGANS~
I hate it when black people (or any people for that matter but blacks in particular) use the word “niggah” and then try to say it doesn’t mean the same thing as “nigger”.
WTF???
In ebonics, (for lack of a better term), or maybe we’ll just call it slang, there are no other instances where a word doesn’t mean the same as the word does in english. For instance if I used to word mofo, you know I mean motherfucker. The word doesn’t takon a new meaning. There are plenty of slang words that mean completly different things (like cool, bad, hot, whatever) but that’s different. When it comes to swearing or using derogatory phrases niggah still means nigger and mofo means motherfucker.
I just wish black people would stop using that word. It’s rubbed off into the white community, as most black trends do, and it’s even more asinine to hear some stupid little skinny white kid using the term because he honestly thinks it means homeboy. Although funny thing is, if a black person hears a white person use the word niggah they are offended. Why are they offended if niggah doesn’t mean nigger? Because NIGGAH DOES MEAN NIGGER! So just stop it, damnit! 
Dude, blockhead, I couldn’t agree with you more, but trying to staunch the flow of idiocy from the masses (regardless of color) is like trying to plug the spew of smoke from Dennis Leary’s lungs. It’s impossible. Why not take a stand. Tell someone they sound like a jackass the next time you hear them say something like this and ask them why they say it. If he looks like that guy in The Green Mile, you may want to wait and ask one of your friends though…
Noonch.
“And on the eighth day, God Created beer
to prevent the Irish from taking over
the Earth.”
~SNOOGANS~
Since someone broached the subject of Corporatespeak…
utilize
paradigm
solution
outside (of) the box
As in, “We must think outside the box and utilize new paradigms to create a solution.” There are other grating CorpSpeak words, but I can’t think of them at the moment.
Oh, I said “my bad” doesn’t bother me; but it’s pretty damned old.
Okay, I thought I posted on this thread before, but now it’s not there. ?
I was reminded of one just yesterday, from the corporate world. “We have to identify and fix the brokes.” Brokes as a noun?
“Y’all all” is a special case. The y’all is the address for “all of you”. The extra all is used in place of “each”. The intent is “Does each of you”.
I have heard there are some really rural southern places that use y’all as a singular, but I’ve never heard it that way or used it that way, and it strikes me as a mistaken usage. However, y’all as the plural of you is okay - it is a contraction of “you all”. Sure sounds better than “youse guys”.
A girl I knew from Savannah, GA used “y’alls” as singular.
Me: I like your accent.
She: I don’t have an accent. Y’ALLS got the accent!
Here’s another one that grates:
“For all intensive purposes…”
I hate the use of aggravate as follows:
“Your misuse of grammar really aggravates me.”
Effing idiot. You are aggravating (making worse) my irritation, goddammit.
Or what about this one, which I’ve heard frequently of late: “I was thinking in my head…” or “I had an idea in my head…” Do you feel compelled to clarify that you aren’t thinking with, say, your pancreas? Or maybe you sometimes get ideas in your rectum, and you just want to notify me that this one is actually residing in a few brain cells.
A lot of guys think with their penises.
Yes, but to have to say that they’re not at the moment doing so is, how shall we say it… tacky.
Actually, I’m posting because I find I must most humbly withdraw my first peeve (re: aggravate). Turns out I’m just being a grammar snob, and that common usage wins out on that one. Not that it doesn’t still wring my linen.
Here is my two cents worth (in the form of an e-mail forward that I received a few years ago).Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English:
- Avoid alliteration. Always.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat. )
- Employ the vernacular.
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren’t necessary.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- One should never generalize.
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know.” - Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly
superfluous. - Be more or less specific.
- Understatement is always best.
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
“If we submit everything to reason, our religion will have no mysterious or supernatural element. If we offend the principles of reason, our religion will be absurd and ridiculous.” Blaise Pascal
Wellness.
–
peas on earth
“take and” is big where I live.
It’s not enough to move that bail of hay to the back 40, they have to take and move it.
Education-speak drives me nuts as well. Anyone whose job involves frequently talking to superintendents, principals and teachers will know what I mean.
Example: using ‘problem-solve’ as a verb.
“The assist superintendent and I problem-solved the schedule conflict.”
Another example: overuse of the word ‘piece’
“The sociology piece is an important part of our curriculum; the teamwork piece is very important to me.”
Ugh.
“You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks
I agree with y’all. There’s just no exscaping bad grammar nowadays.
I regret to inform you that it is a bale of hay.
Officespeak:
How about the word “office” itself used as a verb? “I was officing at home, now I office downtown.”
I saw a soap opera last week that included a sentence like this: “At what time did you call me at?” I guess that low-rate actor was just covering all the bases… (not that I watch those shows, I was flipping through, honest!)
Sweet Basil