Alright, WHO'S Got My Remote?

My remote is AWOL. I can’t find it anywhere.

Have any of you guys seen it? I’d really like it back. It is SUCH a pain in the arse to get up and change the channel.

I have your remote—aaa-hahahaha (evil laugh) and I’m holding it hostage until I get large quantities of CHOCOLATE!!!

I can change your channels with my garage-door opener.
Where do you live?

gasp A female has touched a remote!

Must offer sacrifices to the Infra-red Gods!

:::binds and trusses up Persephone:::

Oh, Great Ones, please forgive our carelessness! We pray you, do not send thy murderous wrath down upon us. Instead, take this heathen female as our offering, we beseech thee!

:::prostrates himself in front of the TV:::

May thy light shine and entertain, may the unholy commercials remain unseen, and may the Lifetime channel be transformed into All Eastwood–All The Time, now and forever, amen.

damn smilies

That’s right, Rysdad. I touched the remote. I touch it all the time. In a good way. Why, you ask?

:::puffs self up & busts out of trusses:::

Because I pay the cable bill, that’s why!

:::kicks Infra-red God in the cojones:::

Now shut up & help me look for my damn remote!

damn smilies

Have you frisked the kids yet? That is a sure bet around my house.
And I hate to mention this, but when did you notice it missing? Please tell me it was before you threw out the christmas paper and boxes!

You get up and change the channel? My T.V. was stuck on TBS for a day and a half before we found the remote. The whole family (me, hubby and twins) will form a search party. We’ll pass by the T.V. a dozen times and never change the channel until that damned remote can be found.

Have you checked the fridge yet?

remotes are the primary diet ingredient for sofas, ya know. They supplement thier diet with spare change.

Either that or on a shelf some place. I’m great about that.

Did you find it yet?
And Biggirl, the same thing happens in our house. And knowing that we are not the only family who does that makes me feel better! :smiley:

::Bunny comes in black leather a la Lucy Liu in Charlie’s Angels::

Okay, drop 'em!! Cavity search!

::smacks riding crop against black leather skirt::

Your remote is in the side (not the back) of the easy chair wedged way down in the seat cushion. Look again.

My remote was MIA for a good chunk of this year. TV just doesn’t have that same old hypnotic effect without it. <sigh>

Found it!




Days of Our Lives.




Happy Days.


Encino Man. Cool.

(tosses remote back where he found it)

Sheesh. I must be the only one over 28 around here. Why do you think people in the 50’s had kids in the first place??? why to get up and change the channel for us, that’s why.

Unless you have a Y chromosome, you have absolutely no need for the holy black device…

It’s been confiscated on account of the upcoming bowl games…now just sashay your pretty little head into that there kitchen and fix us up some grub…m’kay toots?

no, this is how you channel surf as a typical couch potato:


huh huh, hot chick


huh huh, hot chick wif saucepan




some idiot cawwed Bush


huh huh, hot chick

Beagledave, I have a Y chromosome. He’s in the bathroom right now getting ready for work. He wasn’t here last night to help me find the remote or change the channels for me.